The Female Bromance: Girl Crushes
Every girl needs a girl crush. No, not the type that fills male sexual fantasies with two (or more) women romping around in their undies. The girl crush is more along the lines of a female bromance. It’s a strictly-platonic, straight girl kind of longing where a hetero woman becomes infatuated with a fellow lady who possesses traits— inside and out— that the crusher admires (like say, beauty, sophistication, sass, confidence, etc.), and too, hopes to emulate.
Much like a girl-boy crush, which girls you crush on can actually tell you a bit about your own personality. “Whoever your girl crush is, it's probably a result of somehow feeling connected to the star's personality and values," Dr. Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist and author of the new book Why Him? Why Her? said in a Cosmo interview about girl crushes.
Having a girl crush also tells something else about you. There’s a certain type of woman who can see a fabulous fly woman and lift her up, instead of tear her down. If you’ve got a crush, you’re the type that bypasses buying into the negativity that is often associated with women’s social interactions (thanks Wives’ franchises). Girls who crush on girls offer a positive expression for how we ladies, really--no, seriously--actually do get along.
A girl crush comes as a great antidote to all the madness, a small, bright reminder that all women aren’t insecure, catty and crazy. Yes, there are those of us left who see a woman who seemingly has it all, or at least something we like, and instead of tearing her down, we raise her a little higher, and use her as inspiration to be a little better, sexier, more confident, whatever it is about our crush that gives a grown woman the giggles.
My girl crush(es)? Start with Amber Rose. It’s her… Gosh, I hate to use this word, but it’s the only one that sums it up properly: swag. She’s got an intrinsic I-am-who-I-am confidence that makes her gym-run, clad in spandex and kicks, look like she’s on a European runway in haute couture. And she’s got an unbridled sex appeal, obvious when she’s wearing one of her curve-hugging, cat suit getups, and also when she’s in flared pants and a turtleneck.
I also have a thing for Tracee Ellis Ross. Her fashion, hair game, and shape are bonkers, of course, but my awe comes from the way she walks around like she’s got ever-present theme music, probably something like Frank Sinatra’s “I Did It My Way” on a loop in her head. She’s also incredibly random. Who rocks Jordans and a Birkin bag? Tracee! That’s who! Ever seen her on the mic at an awards show? She’s in front of a room full of people, millions of viewers watching, and she’s just chilling in ball gown, effortlessly cracking jokes and dropping one-liners like it’s her and a bathroom mirror. Loves it!
Yesterday on Twitter and Facebook, I asked female readers to spill on their own girl crushes and the responses poured in. Apparently, ya’ll have a lot of love to give! Many ladies gushed over Tracee and Amber too, and a good chunk of women have it bad for Rihanna. ”I love her style and that witty/candid mouth of hers when she does interviews,” one of you said. ”I also love the random places she gets her tattoos on her body.”
As expected, Beyonce made several lists. “She is the epitome of all things beautiful,” another commenter boasted. “Her grace, talent, beauty, simplicity in nature & humility is something to admire.”
Sanaa Lathan (“Laid back, cool, and beautiful”), Zoe Saldana (“She’s funny, she can dance and kick your butt”) Jill Scott (“Gorgeous, talented, down to earth”), Angela Bassett (“Simplistic elegance”) and Scarlett Johansson (“Hot white girl. Exudes sex”), Condoleeza Rice (“Ballsy and plain fierce”), Kelly Rowland, (Impeccable style and sweet spirit”), and finally, Kerry Washington (“Poised, classic”) also got a lot of much-deserved love.
I’m feeling the love, ladies! Share some more! Who’s your girl crush?
Demetria L. Lucas is the author of “A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life” (Atria) in stores now. Follow her on Twitter @abelleinbk