Vivica Taught Me: Beware of Falling in Love with a Six Pack and a Smile
When Vivica A. Fox recently summed up her break up with her younger boo Slimm by saying, “I fell in love with a six pack and a smile and look what that’s gotten me,” I literally said, “Girl, I hear you.” Lord knows I have succumbed to the wonders of orthodontics and a 200-crunches-per-night routine many times in the past, and the result of each situation has boiled down to the same lesson: looks aren’t everything when it comes to dating.
It’s true physical attraction is what typically peaks our initial interest, but the dangers of being mesmerized by good genetics are just as tangible as a pack of swoon worthy abs. I didn’t start out putting looks before character; it’s just after a few bad experiences I figured if a man was going to be trifling he might as well be nice on the eyes. Or sometimes the combination of a well-dressed man with impeccable pecs overshadowed the questionable past that I knew was more fact than fiction. Other times I didn’t know a particular guy wasn’t good for me from the start, but once I did it was hard to break away from the sexiness. The problem in all of these situations is that the charm of those good looks tends to fade over time while your list of unfulfilled expectations grows exponentially.
Lips don’t look as juicy when lies are coming out of them; pretty brown eyes aren’t so pretty when they’re wandering all over some other woman’s backside in front of you; and those ripped arms aren’t so appealing when you suspect another woman has been wrapped up in them. I used to practically drool over my ex’s smile—to the point that he would catch me trying to sneak in stares and ask what I was looking at. By the time all was said and done I couldn’t even stand looking at him, much less admire his dimples.
Putting looks first on your list of qualifications for a man only (potentially) works if you’re going to keep things totally casual. If you know you have a tendency to fall for any man you’re intimate with, it’s best to not even put yourself in that situation—or else you could wind up singling the same lonely tune as Vivica. This, unfortunately, is easier said than done, but when you think about all the important things you really want in a man like loyalty, honesty, faithfulness, dependability, integrity, an occupation, sense of purpose, etc.—all of those things trump smiles and abs big time.
Of course it’s completely possible to meet an amazingly gorgeous man who also has his stuff together, but it’s more typical to meet an OK-looking guy and write him off for his average looks before you get a chance to learn about his positive personality traits. Although men tend to get all the blame for being looks obsessed, women are pretty visual too. We just have to remember sometimes it’s better to look and lust rather than touch if we’re going to end up falling in love with someone whose looks are the only thing he has going for him.
Can you relate to Vivica’s dilemma of falling in love with a six pack and a smile? How did it work out for you in the end?