Good Credit Required Not Debatable
- Nice Looking
- Loves his momma and God
- Has a career and makes good money
- Great in bed
- Good with children
- All of the above
I laughed to myself as a few of my girlfriends stated their qualities of an ideal mate during our monthly ladies night dinner. We could talk all night about the types of men we wanted or the men we already had and hoped they would become. It wasn’t until a friend proclaimed to me a few weeks later that she had met the man of her dreams that I realized we were missing one great quality on that list: financially savvy.
Sure, the man that she was falling for had a good job and made okay money, but he didn’t manage it well. Instead of saving his money and building a portfolio, he spent it on expensive clothes, new sneakers, trips and partying. He was pushing thirty and had never had his own place, a car in his name or anything substantial to show that he was responsible.
Since he made her happy, got paid every two weeks and kept the left side of her bed warm, my friend chose to look the other way. “Besides, it doesn’t matter," she assured me. "His finances are something we can work on.”
“We?” I asked her with an eyebrow raised.
An automatic red flag went off when I heard the word “we,” and as they continued to get serious, I reminded of the common sense that so many of us can sometimes lose when entering into relationships. One year later, they were engaged, and six months later they were married. Her now husband insisted they move into a big house that was far beyond their means, but since they had two incomes and she had good credit, they were able to put it in her name. He also talked her into putting two his and her luxury cars under her name to go with their new family home.
She was in bliss and had no issue with everything being in her name because she loved him. He was her husband after all. Another year went by before she admitted to me that she had married a man with no real ambition to better himself. Although he was still bringing in an income, he was settled in his job and didn’t seem to care too much about moving up. He made enough to support his habit of nice clothing and fancy trips, so why should it matter he had asked her? He still hadn’t grasped the importance of being financially responsible and hadn’t saved any real money over the few years they had been together.
As her frustration grew, so did the problems in their marriage, which led to a miserable and expensive divorce. She’s now stuck with the mortgage to the house and a luxury car payment (he’s paying for his) she never wanted.
“The lesson here is to pay attention to the red flags!" she told me after her divorce was finalized. "I was so excited to have a well dressed man, with no kids and a job keeping me warm at night that I ignored the obvious.”
In the end, remember to ask the right questions and know what you’re getting yourself into before getting serious with someone. Of course, not everyone will know everything about managing their finances correctly, but if they don’t seem to be trying then you need to run. Run far.