Rules of Engagement: 5 Things Friends with Benefits Is NOT
No. 3: Cuddling
This isn’t automatically off the table, it’s just a matter of how it happens. Cuddle time after sex? Possible. Cuddle time just because you want a man to hold you? Nah. You might be able to pull that with a boyfriend, but a man who’s just a friend will not consider putting his hands around you and watching you sleep a benefit. Depending on the terms, your FWB might not even stay the night. If that’s the case, you may have to get used to rocking your own self to sleep.
No. 4: Demands on Time
“So, basically I can just call him up anytime I want it, and he’ll come?” Not exactly. Ideally, that’s what would happen, but it doesn’t always. One of the benefits is being able to do as you please when you please. If you’re the only one your FWB is sleeping with he might be quick to jump in the car and drive over at 1am, but if not (or if he’s simply not in the mood), you really can’t be mad at that.
No. 5: Tantrums
This brings me to my final point—what you can and can’t get mad at. What people love about friends with benefits is that it (theoretically) eliminates nagging, arguing and all of the other negative stuff that can weigh a relationship down. Right along with not making demands on time, you cannot assume the behavior of a girlfriend in terms of going off on a man you’re just sleeping with. If he does something disrespectful or violates your FWB agreement, then yes, by all means, have at it. But questions like “Why didn’t you pick up the phone?” “Where were you?” and “Who is she?” don’t fall under your authority. On the flip side, he doesn’t get to ask you these things either because you’re a free agent too.