Chrissy Lampkin Jim Jones Engagement Chrissy Lampkin Jim Jones Engagement

Why He Is Waiting To Marry You

Remember the age old nursery rhyme "sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G?" Well amongst our generation something different is happening; kissing has turned into sex, the baby is delivered before marriage, and love is on VH1 begging to make it official.

With the recent engagements of Love & Hip Hop's Chrissy Lampkin and LeBron James long-time girlfriend Savannah Brinson, it's no question that love is in the air, both on and off-air.  Before they got a ring on it, the Love & Hip Hop star and the Basketball "Wife" both took to public forums to express feelings of discontent while waiting for their men to be ready. Fans of Love & Hip Hop witnessed Chrissy Lampkin discuss marriage with rapper Jim Jones, even proposing to him, while Savannah took to twitter with emotional retweets.

After eight years, these women finally got their ring, but the question of why it took so long and how men can live with, provide for and have kids with a woman that he is hesitant to marry remains. Below are the four reasons why he says he won't marry you and what they mean:

1.  "The time isn't right."  -  What he is telling you is that "I love you, I want to be with you, but I still have some things to work out." While women envision the wedding, the house and the children, men envision how to provide for the wedding, the house and the children. Some men are traditional and choose to achieve success with their partner, while others may want to have the house, cars and finances in order before bringing you on board.

2.  "Are we sure this is what he want to do?  Look at all the others." -- As the divorce rises it's only natural for him to question the institute of marriage, especially one in the spotlight. If you're friends, families and immediate circles all have a history of failed marriages, then he may question why yours would be different. Marriage is a major step and lifetime decision, it's only fitting that you allow him to take as much time as he needs.  Continue to be a good girlfriend so he can be comfortable with making you a good wife.
3.  "We are basically married." -- There is a reason why old school people warned you about shacking up. If you live together, have kids together and your current relationship is intact, then it leaves no incentive for men to shake up their happy home.  He probably isn't afraid of marriage, he may just not want to deal with the wedding and financial stress that marriage brings.

4.  "Marriage isn't for me." -- With a society filled with successful life partners and open relationships, many are comfortable with never mixing the business of marriage with the pleasure of a committed relationship.  If he promises to love you and provide for you, but doesn't deem it necessary to do so in front of a court, then ask yourself "is love enough?" If the answer is "yes," then live happily ever after. If "no," you're wasting your time.

Wild Card -- What he may not be telling you is that YOU are the reason. You may think that you've found your soulmate and he simply may not feel the same. Something in your past or something about your future may be holding him back.

After proposing and playing the "sidekick," how did Chrissy and Savannah get their ring?  Chrissy gave an ultimatum of leaving for good, which finally caught Jim Jones attention.  On the other end, Savannah told Harper's Bazaar in 2010, "I’ve definitely not put a fire under his ass, I would never rush him to do something like that. We’re really comfortable with the way things are now. And it’s not up to me. When it happens, it happens... We talk about it. If we do it, I want it to be forever."

While the answer is different for some and influenced by circumstances, it makes you wonder if Grandma was right - why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Nobody turns down a free sample.

From the Web

More on Vibe

Getty Images

Kush & Splendor: 5 CBD Beauty Products That’ll Take Your Self-Care Routine From 0 To 100

Lotions, creams, and salves—oh my! With cannabidiol (CBD) popping up in just about every product you can imagine, the cannabis-infused beauty industry is clearly on the come-up. In fact, analysts predict that the “wellness” movement—as well as the legalization of Mary Jane across the world—will help rake in $25 billion globally in the next 10 years, according to Business Insider. That’s 15 percent of the $167 billion skincare market.

And what better way to up the ante on one’s wellness routine than with all-natural CBD? Just ask Dr. Lana Butner, naturopathic doctor and acupuncturist at NYC’s Modrn Sanctuary, who incorporates CBD in her treatments.

“CBD is a fantastic addition to acupuncture sessions for both its relaxation and anti-inflammatory, pain-relieving effects,” Butner shares with Vixen. “The calming effects of CBD allows for patients to deeply relax into the treatment and really tap into the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest, digestion and muscle repair/regeneration.”

She adds that CBD’s pain-relieving effects are “far-reaching,” from muscular and joint pains to migraines and arthritis—and even IBS and indigestion.

The magic lies in CBD’s ability to impact endocannabinoid receptor activity in our bodies. Without getting too wordy, our bodies come equipped with a system called the endocannabinoid system (ECS), which is the HBIC over our sleep, appetite, pain and immune system response. Also known as cannabidiol, CBD teams up with this system to help reduce inflammation and interact with neurotransmitters. According to Healthline, CBD has also been scientifically shown to impact the brain’s receptors for serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for regulating our mood and social behavior.

All that said, it’s important to note that not all CBD products are created equal. Many brands cashing in on the green beauty wave use hemp seed oil, sometimes referred to as cannabis sativa seed oil, in place of CBD... which doesn’t make them any less great! Hemp seed oil is actually high in antioxidants, amino acids, and omega-3 and -6 fatty acids—all of which are for your skin.

“It’s generally viewed as a superfood and is great for adding nutritional value to your diet,” Ashley Lewis, co-founder of Fleur Marché, told Well and Good last month. “In terms of skin care, it’s known as a powerful moisturizer and skin softener that doesn’t clog pores or contribute to oily skin.”

However, when companies start marketing CBD and hemp oil as one-in-the-same, that’s when things get a bit tricky.

“The biggest issue is that hemp seed oil and CBD are two totally different compounds that come from different parts of the hemp plant, have different makeups, and different benefits,” Lewis added. “Marketing them as the same thing just isn’t accurate and does a disservice to consumers who are expecting certain benefits that they won’t get from hemp seed oil and who are often paying more for what they think is CBD.”

So if you’re looking to benefit from the perks specifically attributed to CBD, make sure you’re reading labels before buying, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Hell, ask for a product’s test results, while you’re at it. It never hurts to be sure.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, are you ready to see what all the hype is about? For this 4/20, we rounded up a few CBD (and hemp!)-infused products to help give your self-care routine a bit of a boost. Looks like your holiday just got that much kushier. You’re welcome!

Note: Data and regulations surrounding CBD and its use are still in development. That said, please don’t take anything written in this post as medical or legal advice, and definitely double check the laws in your state. Also, please do your body a favor and hit up your doctor before trying any new supplements. We’re just tryna look out for you. Okay? Okay. Read on.

Continue Reading
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images

Vivica A. Fox Explains Past Hesitance Behind 'Two Can Play That Game' Script

In a new interview with Essence, actress Vivica A. Fox discussed how she initially turned down her role in Two Can Play That Game based on the script. The established entertainer said it's her mission to ensure that black people are positively portrayed onscreen, and noticed the aforementioned film's prose didn't live up to those standards.

"I think the reason why—no I know the reason why—I've been doing this for such a long time is that I fight," Fox said. "When we did Two Can Play That Game, I fought for the way we talked, walked, the way we loved each other." The Set It Off actress continued to state that she consistently declined Two Can Play That Game before signing on to play the lead role. "Because the script, when I first got it, I turned it down three times because it just wasn't a good representation of African-Americans, so I fought them on everything," she noted. "I want to make sure that the images of African-Americans are as positive and as true as they can possibly be."

In 2001, the romantic comedy debuted to fanfare, boasting an all-star cast of Morris Chestnut, Mo'Nique, Anthony Anderson, Bobby Brown, Gabrielle Union, Wendy Raquel Robinson, and more. Directed by Mark Brown (Barbershop, Iverson, How To Be A Player), Fox plays a career driven person named Shante Smith who navigates a curveball when her boyfriend Keith Fenton (Chestnut) cheats on her with a co-worker.

After its release, Two Can Play That Game raked in over $22 million at the box office.

Continue Reading
Actress Gabrielle Union attends the Being Mary Jane premiere, screening, and party on January 9, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for BET)
Getty Images

BET To Unveil Edible Billboard For 'Being Mary Jane' Wedding Finale

As Being Mary Jane comes to an end, BET is willing to offer fans a taste of what's to come in the series finale.

The network has enlisted the help of Ayesha Curry, celebrity cook and cookbook author, to create an edible billboard that also doubles as a wedding cake. The sweet treat will commemorate Mary Jane's (played by Gabrielle Union) nuptials in the two-hour series finale.

On April 20 from 1:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M. at Brooklyn's Atlantic Terminal in New York, fans will be presented with the edible billboard. At the intersection of Ashland Place and Hanson Place, the closer Being Mary Jane enthusiasts get to the billboard the quicker they'll notice that the four-tiered wedding cake is created from individual boxes, each containing a slice of Curry's prized wedding cake.

All fans have to do is pull a box from the billboard, snap a picture for the 'Gram, take a bite and enjoy. Although lovers of the show won't be able to celebrate with Mary Jane herself, biting into a slice of her wedding cake, for free, is the next best thing.

Don't forget to tune into the series finale of Being Mary Jane on Tues. (April 23) at 8/7 c.

Also, check out what's to come on the series of Being Mary Jane below.

Save the date! 👰🏾It'll be worth the wait. Join us for the series finale of #BeingMaryJane TUES APR 23 8/7c only on @BET!

— #BeingMaryJane (@beingmaryjane) March 29, 2019

Continue Reading

Top Stories