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Ladies, Stop Asking “What Am I Doing Wrong?”

As I pen this piece within ten minutes of the midnight hour, I can’t help but to think that I’m going on my 20th year without a Valentine. Normally, this little fact would classify me as a social virgin, but then again, what is “normal” anyway?

Apart from those times in elementary school when the entire class received a valentine or two, when it came to the holiday of love, I was always giving without getting anything back. (All of you guys know who you are.) I know what you’re thinking. “You’re young; you have plenty of time.” “Having a valentine isn’t important.” “Use this time alone to find yourself.” But, neither of those statements stops me from desiring affection from the opposite sex. I’m a Cancer for goodness sakes!

All jokes aside, while Valentine’s Day is just one day out the year, for the other 364 days of my single, adolescent life, every time I witness the affection between couples in my dorm or walking down the street hand-in-hand, these five words immediately enter my mind:

What am I doing wrong?

In my rationale way of thinking, if I have the beauty, brains and personality, I should be with somebody, right? Sure. However, that doesn’t mean whoever he is will be in my life right away. To avoid the possibility of heartbreak and drama within relationships, it would behoove me to wait until the time is right. Sadly, logical thinking doesn’t always keep you warm at night.

Eventually, I discovered I wasn’t the only one who felt this way after spotting a status a friend of mine posted on Facebook this past Friday saying: “I realized I've never actually had a real Valentine for Valentine’s Day. Where I have I gone wrong [in] the past 18 years?!”

Seeing her status and realizing she’s 18 years old feeling the same way I do snapped me back to reality. Relationship or no relationship, we as women need to stop asking ourselves what we’re doing wrong. When we do, it’s like we’re having a pity party with our brains and our hearts, instead of coming to terms with what’s in front of us. We rely on movies such as He’s Just Not That into You, self-help books and the advice of others to help define our relationships when, sometimes, shit just happens.

Now don’t get me wrong, each breakup is different, but for my single Vixens out there, asking ourselves what we’re doing wrong only hinders our growth as an individual. It allows us to continue to break down our confidence instead of building it up. The idea of being single embodies a meaning on its own, but we have the power to control the way we view our relationship status. So instead of thinking, “What am I doing wrong,” try thinking “What am I doing right.” And as tough as it may be, wait. You never know what might happen the next time a lovey-dovey couple walks past you, that special someone could be right behind them.

And while I don’t have a Valentine today, and am unsure of when I will, I know I’d rather build up confidence within myself than tear it down with self-dissatisfaction. When the time comes, these 20 years are going to be worth it. So spend Valentine’s Day with those who appreciate you. I know I am. Happy Day of Love!

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CupcakKe Reveals Abusive Boyfriend Led Her To Contemplate Suicide

Months of abuse led to the suicidal tweet posted by Chicago native CupcakKe, earlier this month. In a lengthy message posted to her Twitter account over the weekend, the 21-year-old rapper admitted that she’s been battling depression, brought on by an abusive ex-boyfriend.

In the post titled “my disturbing read,” CupcakKe accuses a man named, Christopher Terrell, of stealing her credit cards and terrorizing her throughout their relationship.

“This is someone I’ve been dating for the past [five] months,” she wrote in the now deleted post. “Out of the kindness of my heart I gave this man over [$30,000] during this period [of] time because I understand how it feels to be without (especially after me being homeless). He also has threatened to shoot my mom in the face [and] has threatened me on multiple occasions [and] said he can do it because he will get away with it!!!! I have screenshots, recorded calls, bank statements and all types of proof.

“Me being stupid in love I have [taken] this man back multiple times but every time I take him back the abuse gets [worse],” she added.

Further in the post, CupcakKe explains that her depression from feeling trapped in the relationship resulted in her contemplating suicide. “He [has] snatched off my wig in public, broke phones [and] continues to traumatize me every step of the way! This is what [led] to my ‘I’m committing suicide’ tweet…I have called the cops multiple times and they have yet to do anything about it,” she wrote, adding that Terrell is threatening her with revenge porn. She also admitted to posting his number on social media, and the numbers of women that he “plotted” with  to steal her money.

“Yes I am wrong for that,” she said. “But by me sending this message out it is not for harm to be sent his way, it’s for the police to make things way more serious!!!! Also this message is for every young girl or anyone in general that is struggling with abuse right now. I get u (once you see the first sign) leave!!!”

Read the full post below.

@Chicago_Police y’all really need to do something about @CupcakKe_rapper and her situation, she’s mentioned reaching out to y’all multiple times about this and nothings happened! Please do something before it’s too late... pic.twitter.com/ZczGq1jmcK

— moonlight_baes (@m00nlight__baes) January 20, 2019

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Kelly Rowland Says Her Highly-Anticipated Project Is "Definitely Coming"

Six years ago, Kelly Rowland released her fourth studio album titled Talk a Good Game. The project boasted hit singles like "Kisses Down Low" and the transparent "Dirty Laundry." Now, the Houston native is preparing to release a project that'll surely satisfy fans' patient earbuds.

In an interview with Billboard, Rowland shared her hopes for putting out a new body of work and the pressure that she's encountered since she's been in the studio. "This is by far the longest, most pressure-filled process ever, only because I know what it's supposed to be and I have been so hard on myself. I know it," she said. "And it's the first time I've said it out loud. I've been extremely hard on myself. But it's definitely coming, and I'm more so excited about this project than anything else."

The news follows the recent release of Rowland's "Kelly" track, which was met with critical acclaim in November 2018. In addition to preparing the release of new music, the "Motivation" singer discussed fans' wish for a Destiny's Child reunion. The rumors have been fueled by social media photographs of Rowland with either Beyonce or Michelle or all three, especially during Beyonce's past Coachella performance. But Rowland assures readers that it's not what they think.

"It's so funny. I guess every time people see us together, they just see music but I see sisterhood, and that's what we are and that's what me, her, Michelle [Williams] and Solange and I are. People see us all together, they immediately think music. I'm like, no. Just family." As Rowland previously mentioned Solange, she hopes to one day work with her again.

"I'm a huge fan," she said. "I love her writing and how detailed and particular she is. I always wanted to figure out how the heck she has so many different layers of harmonies when she is constructing these vocals, and it's so complex but simple. It's genius. It's the genius in her genius mind that she has in there." One of the last times the pair collaborated was on Rowland's "Simply Deep" track off her debut solo album of the same name. Solange also penned a few songs off the same project. Fast forward to 2016, and Rowland's vocals were featured on Solange's iconic A Seat at the Table.

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Teyana Taylor To Pay Homage To Ballroom Culture In "WTP" Video

Teyana Taylor aims to keep her hot streak of innovative videos coming thanks to this recent announcement. Taking to Instagram on Wednesday (Jan. 9), the "Gonna Love Me" singer will show adoration to ballroom culture in the visual for "WTP."

Directed by Gregory "Beef" Jones, The Aunties Inc., and Taylor herself, the Harlemite takes viewers on her journey to the expression-filled space where she hopes to rack up 10s across the board from a group of judges. The premise of the video also seems to follow a mockumentary format airing on a fictional network named FEMTV. Alongside Taylor, other men and women get ready to display their talents and confidence on the ballroom floor.

"WTP" is featured on the mother-of-one's sophomore album, K.T.S.E., which was released in June 2018. While the rollout's controversy didn't entirely muddle the excitement behind the project's debut, Taylor said she was sold on the idea that her album would be treated as the biggest out of G.O.O.D. Music's string of releases last year.

"I didn't know ahead of time that there wouldn't be any singles or visuals. But I knew that it was going to be the five-album thing," she said during a HOT 97 interview. "[Kanye] wanted [my album] to be last, he wanted mine to be the biggest. That's the way they sauced it up. I was sold."

The video will debut on Jan. 19. Check out the teaser below.

 

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👀 1.19.19 👀 #WTP Directed by @teyanataylor & @ogbeefjones @theauntiesinc 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾 The wait is ALMOST over. 😏 @museumofsex

A post shared by Jimmy Neutch- Shumpert (@teyanataylor) on Jan 8, 2019 at 6:32pm PST

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