Ladies, Stop Asking “What Am I Doing Wrong?”


As I pen this piece within ten minutes of the midnight hour, I can’t help but to think that I’m going on my 20th year without a Valentine. Normally, this little fact would classify me as a social virgin, but then again, what is “normal” anyway?

Apart from those times in elementary school when the entire class received a valentine or two, when it came to the holiday of love, I was always giving without getting anything back. (All of you guys know who you are.) I know what you’re thinking. “You’re young; you have plenty of time.” “Having a valentine isn’t important.” “Use this time alone to find yourself.” But, neither of those statements stops me from desiring affection from the opposite sex. I’m a Cancer for goodness sakes!

All jokes aside, while Valentine’s Day is just one day out the year, for the other 364 days of my single, adolescent life, every time I witness the affection between couples in my dorm or walking down the street hand-in-hand, these five words immediately enter my mind:

What am I doing wrong?

In my rationale way of thinking, if I have the beauty, brains and personality, I should be with somebody, right? Sure. However, that doesn’t mean whoever he is will be in my life right away. To avoid the possibility of heartbreak and drama within relationships, it would behoove me to wait until the time is right. Sadly, logical thinking doesn’t always keep you warm at night.

Eventually, I discovered I wasn’t the only one who felt this way after spotting a status a friend of mine posted on Facebook this past Friday saying: “I realized I’ve never actually had a real Valentine for Valentine’s Day. Where I have I gone wrong [in] the past 18 years?!”