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Silence Is Golden: Should You Tell Your Man Everything?

Truth is a cornerstone in any healthy relationship, but nobody said anything about keeping some sh*t to yourself. While communication, sharing secrets, and being vulnerable are important virtues in any long term romantic relationship, there are still some things that go better left unsaid. Last night I was having a conversation with my lover, whom I can wax poetic to on any number of subjects for hours upon hours. In fact there is very little I actually keep from him, but there are a few things ladies that we should save for ourselves, lest feelings get hurt or unnecessary judgments are formed about you. Here are 6 of those secrets that you should not spill to your man.

  • How Many Sex Partners You’ve Had - The saying goes that when a man tells you how many women he’s had sex with you should divide the number by two. When a woman tells you how many men she’s had sex with you should multiply the number by 2. This is not to say you should feign to be a saved and sanctified saint, when in fact you can make a ‘juke joint’Jezebel blush, but a simple omission may do your man’s ego and your unsullied image in his eyes good. Even the most liberal, non-judgmental, self-confident and secure of men cannot stand to think about their lady getting busy with another man. So to err on the side of caution, keep your numbers to yourself.
  • You Still Love Your Ex - Many of us ladies have that one ex in our closet that loved our dirty drawls, and doted on us to no end, but for whatever reason we did not appreciate his love and affections fully during the course of the relationship. Needless to say, you still have love in your heart for your old flame. It would be wise to keep this kernel of truth all to your damn self. As the late great love song crooner Luther Vandross sings “If you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with.
  • You Can’t Stand His Mama - Often times mother daughter-in-law/girlfriend relationships are tenuous, but you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar. Most men are sensitive about their mothers, and she can do almost no wrong in their eyes. By being combative or otherwise insulting to the most important woman in his life is a surefire way to stir up trouble in your relationship. If his mother is overly intrusive, or a certified world class bitch, figure out a way to convey your qualms about her without being disrespectful. Usually some pillow talk, voicing your misgivings in a delicate manner, particularly after a good night/morning/afternoon of  steamy passionate sex can aid in resolving these issues. Whatever format you chose, tread lightly in this matter while still maintaining your ground
  • Size Matters - Unfortunately we don’t get all that we want in one man (neither can we be everything that a man desires in one package.) Call it God’s practical joke. Ever had a good man, I mean a really good man? He treats you like a queen, worships the ground you walk on, goes to church, God fearing, nice body, excellent provider good credit…yadda yadda yadda…but the size of his male member was lacking? Listen, there is no polite way to ever express to a man that his shortcomings is in the size of his penis. I actually have no advice on how to break this kind of news to your guy, except you better decide if this ‘little’ problem is something that you can contend with in the long run.
  • @sshole - It is inevitable that your relationship will reach the proverbial threshold of encountering some knock down drag out arguments. No matter how upset you get it is important to remember to fight fair. Men’s egos are fragile, and more than that there is a way to have an argument and make your point without being disrespectful and demeaning. When having a verbal battle with your man, keep the word ‘bitch’ ‘limp dick’’yo mama’ and other emasculating terminology out of the argument no matter how heated you may become.
  • Your friend is Fine - We all know that Hakeem’s best friend is a catch and damn fine to boot, but under no circumstances should you express this to your man. This can just make the situation awkward between yourself and your man, and your man and his friend and is totally avoidable and ultimately unnecessary. Admire from the sidelines and keep it moving. 

Are there any other things that you think are worth keeping from your man? Do tell….

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CupcakKe Reveals Abusive Boyfriend Led Her To Contemplate Suicide

Months of abuse led to the suicidal tweet posted by Chicago native CupcakKe, earlier this month. In a lengthy message posted to her Twitter account over the weekend, the 21-year-old rapper admitted that she’s been battling depression, brought on by an abusive ex-boyfriend.

In the post titled “my disturbing read,” CupcakKe accuses a man named, Christopher Terrell, of stealing her credit cards and terrorizing her throughout their relationship.

“This is someone I’ve been dating for the past [five] months,” she wrote in the now deleted post. “Out of the kindness of my heart I gave this man over [$30,000] during this period [of] time because I understand how it feels to be without (especially after me being homeless). He also has threatened to shoot my mom in the face [and] has threatened me on multiple occasions [and] said he can do it because he will get away with it!!!! I have screenshots, recorded calls, bank statements and all types of proof.

“Me being stupid in love I have [taken] this man back multiple times but every time I take him back the abuse gets [worse],” she added.

Further in the post, CupcakKe explains that her depression from feeling trapped in the relationship resulted in her contemplating suicide. “He [has] snatched off my wig in public, broke phones [and] continues to traumatize me every step of the way! This is what [led] to my ‘I’m committing suicide’ tweet…I have called the cops multiple times and they have yet to do anything about it,” she wrote, adding that Terrell is threatening her with revenge porn. She also admitted to posting his number on social media, and the numbers of women that he “plotted” with  to steal her money.

“Yes I am wrong for that,” she said. “But by me sending this message out it is not for harm to be sent his way, it’s for the police to make things way more serious!!!! Also this message is for every young girl or anyone in general that is struggling with abuse right now. I get u (once you see the first sign) leave!!!”

Read the full post below.

@Chicago_Police y’all really need to do something about @CupcakKe_rapper and her situation, she’s mentioned reaching out to y’all multiple times about this and nothings happened! Please do something before it’s too late... pic.twitter.com/ZczGq1jmcK

— moonlight_baes (@m00nlight__baes) January 20, 2019

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Kelly Rowland Says Her Highly-Anticipated Project Is "Definitely Coming"

Six years ago, Kelly Rowland released her fourth studio album titled Talk a Good Game. The project boasted hit singles like "Kisses Down Low" and the transparent "Dirty Laundry." Now, the Houston native is preparing to release a project that'll surely satisfy fans' patient earbuds.

In an interview with Billboard, Rowland shared her hopes for putting out a new body of work and the pressure that she's encountered since she's been in the studio. "This is by far the longest, most pressure-filled process ever, only because I know what it's supposed to be and I have been so hard on myself. I know it," she said. "And it's the first time I've said it out loud. I've been extremely hard on myself. But it's definitely coming, and I'm more so excited about this project than anything else."

The news follows the recent release of Rowland's "Kelly" track, which was met with critical acclaim in November 2018. In addition to preparing the release of new music, the "Motivation" singer discussed fans' wish for a Destiny's Child reunion. The rumors have been fueled by social media photographs of Rowland with either Beyonce or Michelle or all three, especially during Beyonce's past Coachella performance. But Rowland assures readers that it's not what they think.

"It's so funny. I guess every time people see us together, they just see music but I see sisterhood, and that's what we are and that's what me, her, Michelle [Williams] and Solange and I are. People see us all together, they immediately think music. I'm like, no. Just family." As Rowland previously mentioned Solange, she hopes to one day work with her again.

"I'm a huge fan," she said. "I love her writing and how detailed and particular she is. I always wanted to figure out how the heck she has so many different layers of harmonies when she is constructing these vocals, and it's so complex but simple. It's genius. It's the genius in her genius mind that she has in there." One of the last times the pair collaborated was on Rowland's "Simply Deep" track off her debut solo album of the same name. Solange also penned a few songs off the same project. Fast forward to 2016, and Rowland's vocals were featured on Solange's iconic A Seat at the Table.

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Teyana Taylor To Pay Homage To Ballroom Culture In "WTP" Video

Teyana Taylor aims to keep her hot streak of innovative videos coming thanks to this recent announcement. Taking to Instagram on Wednesday (Jan. 9), the "Gonna Love Me" singer will show adoration to ballroom culture in the visual for "WTP."

Directed by Gregory "Beef" Jones, The Aunties Inc., and Taylor herself, the Harlemite takes viewers on her journey to the expression-filled space where she hopes to rack up 10s across the board from a group of judges. The premise of the video also seems to follow a mockumentary format airing on a fictional network named FEMTV. Alongside Taylor, other men and women get ready to display their talents and confidence on the ballroom floor.

"WTP" is featured on the mother-of-one's sophomore album, K.T.S.E., which was released in June 2018. While the rollout's controversy didn't entirely muddle the excitement behind the project's debut, Taylor said she was sold on the idea that her album would be treated as the biggest out of G.O.O.D. Music's string of releases last year.

"I didn't know ahead of time that there wouldn't be any singles or visuals. But I knew that it was going to be the five-album thing," she said during a HOT 97 interview. "[Kanye] wanted [my album] to be last, he wanted mine to be the biggest. That's the way they sauced it up. I was sold."

The video will debut on Jan. 19. Check out the teaser below.

 

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👀 1.19.19 👀 #WTP Directed by @teyanataylor & @ogbeefjones @theauntiesinc 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾 The wait is ALMOST over. 😏 @museumofsex

A post shared by Jimmy Neutch- Shumpert (@teyanataylor) on Jan 8, 2019 at 6:32pm PST

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