The “Good Girl” Dilemma

–“I wouldn’t date you but I would marry you. You’re a good girl.”

Let that marinate a minute.

That’s what one of my male friends told me as we discussed dating in your 20s. He said he meant it as a compliment and explained that for a lot of men there are two types of women: those they casually “date” and those they settle down with.

According to him, women like me fall in the latter category.

Countless times many of my male friends have confessed that while they enjoy spending time with one woman in particular, they just don’t want to commit right then — but could in the future. As a result they invest their time and send mixed signals, only to later pull away, leaving women confused and hurt. Somehow for them a quantity of women is better than one quality woman.

In our culture sexual carpe diem rules. Only that moment, that night seems to matter.  When it comes to the power struggle between the sexes, women may have the upper hand in dictating when sex occurs, but men seem to have the edge on deciding on an official commitment — at least on the surface. Most men enjoy a good chase but they will only wait so long.

Fair enough.

(Continue reading at UPTOWN…)

Tags: Dating