Why NOT Having a Valentine Matters


If Rome wasn’t built in a day, finding a valentine shouldn’t be either.

Unless you’re a Kardashian, cementing romance within a day, weeks or even months won’t come as easily for the rest of us. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be treated like Christmas where people scramble to find a last-minute stand-in just to have the audacity to say they weren’t alone on February 14th. If having a valentine doesn’t matter, settling for the right person to spend your time with should. With all the Hallmark hoopla that takes up unnecessary shelving in drug stores as soon as New Year’s is over, it’s easy to default to thoughts of loneliness. But once the calendar flips to the next day, the world is back to being exactly what it was without the pink and red adornments. Being colorblind to the capitalist interests of Valentine’s day will support there is no law that states every person should have a valentine or should feel horrible about not having one.

Since written cards and candy hearts in elementary school, I’ve grown a little tougher, pickier and a lot more critical of the title “valentine.” I have met less than a handful of gentlemen in my 22-year-young lifetime who have ever been worthy of being crowned as such. I’ve been treated to candlelit dinners in apartments-turned-restaurants, taken to see rom-com chick flicks, serenaded with guitar melodies and gifted tickets to see my favorite artist in concert, but the tangible gifts were more voluntary than necessary.

Valentine’s Day is open to many interpretations: a day-long fling, a milestone in a serious relationship or a traumatic memory of romance better left forgotten. Like the meaning of February 14th, women have evolved and grown into their own entity needing the men to assist or overshadow us. When it comes to a female’s status on love’s holiday, there are now more outside factors to take into account: busy careers, post-relationship success and simply, the inability to find the right one. Each just signifies a smarter, priority-driven woman who’ll know a viable Valentine when she sees one.