Working With Your Ex
and Chris Brown have already set the standard for best relationship formula not to follow. Even if they exude sexiness in a way many artists have yet to master or create music that tops the charts, the two former flames have made a controversial pair, together and separated.
Last weekend’s Grammys marked the third anniversary of the occurrence that tore the two apart. As heard in their recent albums, RiRi and Breezy have never fully gotten over their breakup or had the chance to sulk in private. It took a restraining order, a shattered window on a morning news show and a club-banger heartbreak anthem to prove it.
Now three years later, sources say the two are reuniting in the name of music, something not witnessed since their “Umbrella” collaboration. The media is on high alert for the release of a remix on one of the better Talk That Talk tracks, “Birthday Cake.” The ex-couple was also reportedly seen arriving together at Rihanna’s birthday party earlier this week. But the only people who seem to be celebrating their “platonic” reunion is them.
This has VIBE Vixen wondering: is it ever a good thing to work with your ex? Before you do (or do again in Rihanna’s case), ask yourself these simple “yes, hell no, or secretly maybe” questions to avoid a controversial mess. --Adelle Platton
Are you really over the relationship?
Just because you chucked the deuces to your relationship however long ago, you’ll never forget the way a person from your past made you feel, especially if you’re Ms. Fenty or Mr. Brown and you have the emotions preserved in a musical catalogue. You may have given back, burned or tucked away in a box all the tangible items that were given to you from your ex, but the emotional residue lingers even if the cards and stuffed animals are nowhere in sight. Working with an ex only worsens these suppressed feelings because it resurrects the. Only until you are able to be in the same room with an ex and feel no inklings of romance or remorse about the past will you be able to work with the person on a professional level.
Does working together excite you more than the actual project?
If the priority lies in making sure he notices how much you’ve changed so that he or she may want to pick up where the both of you left off, you may want to rethink your motives. Don’t let the project be the reason that shrouds your true feelings about collaborating with your former half. Focus on the goal and be clear about each of your contributions. Success isn’t spelled with an ex.
Do you still hang out with your ex after the project is completed?
Carrying the one always helps solve problems in math, but in relationships, no logic can be deducted from adding extra baggage, especially old ones. As busy women with little time to waste, always double-check the amount of time you spend on someone else, 'specifically an ex. It is hard to pinpoint the exact beginning and end of Rihanna and Chris Brown’s recording process, but the suspicion that the two spend quality time together is enough to assume that their relationship extends beyond the music.
Are you okay with the contact ending once the collaboration is done?
Maybe you embarked on a new endeavor with your ex, not realizing that once the work is over, it’s back to a normal reality sans him or her. Before beginning the project, visualize the end result and your emotional reaction to it. The task may be temporary, but your response to lingering feelings for your former beau will dictate how you deal with the final product. It’s safe to say that the revised version of “Birthday Cake” is prime and ready to leak, but rumors of Rih and Breezy hanging out on the low and showing up together for her birthday party rouse suspicions. Regardless of who they’ve been with post-Chrianna, they just can’t escape each other in music and love.
If in a relationship at present, does your beau know?
Selective truth-telling is a guaranteed sign you are not working with your ex for the right reasons. Take Brown’s stylist girlfriend, Karreuche Tran. Her recent tweets made her sentiments about Rihanna clear and after seeing that the male love interest in Rih’s “We Found Love” looks like a mirror image of Breezy, it’s expected that Karreuche has her guards up. Those who are cuffed need to be honest with their significant others when it comes to any aspect of their prior relationships. Chris may have tatted the face of his present girl to let her know it’s real, but if she was the last to know about this remix, it will need more than ink to prove where his heart lies. Lying to someone who loves you is just as bad as lying to yourself.