Dr. Sherry Blake Dr. Sherry Blake

Vixen Chat [Part I]: Dr. Sherry Blake Talks Single Women and Celebrity Couples

The thing about relationships is that you never really know what you're getting yourself in to until it's done. Every couple has their own trials and tribulations, and, essentially, it takes two to make it work. Expert psychologist and author of The Single Married Woman, Dr. Sherry Blake gives it to us straight and answers the questions women and men often have when it comes to the opposite sex.

Having worked with Toni Braxton and her family on WE tv's Braxton Family Values, Dr. Sherry confidently delivers responses that will help make all of the things we ponder, over-analyze and over-think a little bit easier.

Vixen caught up with the vet who has been servicing people for more than 20 years. In part I, Dr. Sherry talks about her book, celebrity couples and, of course, relationships. -Krystal Holmes

VIBE VIXEN: How do you think women end up in the situation of a "Single Married Woman?”
DR. SHERRY BLAKE: We end up in those situations by wanting a marriage and wanting to make others happy and trying to please so much that we lose sight of ourselves.

Why do you think women who have the power to train a man to her liking just let him walk all over her instead?
I think sometimes women allow men to walk all over them because it’s an issue of self-esteem. Some may think if they don’t do what the male asks or requests of them they won’t have them. They haven’t learned that they have a value in the relationship and they don’t have to allow someone to walk all over them and they don’t have to walk all over someone else, so it goes both ways. The reality is that it’s all about self esteem. If you don’t feel good about yourself, it’s hard to stand up for yourself. It’s really tricky, but you have to understand it works both ways.

Is Kobe and Vanessa’s situation the type that can be saved, or do you think they will just go back to each other for booty calls?
[Laughs] I haven’t worked with them, so I don’t know the ins and outs in terms of their relationship, but I think both of them must really sit down and be honest. It would be great if they were working on the issues that got them to that point with a psychologist or a group of therapists. What are those things we can work on? What are those things that we enjoy that we can enhance? And many times when people have difficulty in relationships and it become public knowledge, then the public thinks material things come in place and they are back together again. But it is more than the material things that keep you together.

When exes get into new relationships, should they just cut off the relationship they had with one another, even if they were friends?
That’s not necessarily a requirement to cut off everyone from your past, but I do think it’s very difficult to have a new relationship and still be involved with your ex. I think that there must be boundaries once again, and it depends on the nature of the reason why you are friends with your ex in the first place. If you have children involved that’s one thing, but if that person’s an ex and you are just friends, then keep them at a distance as you try to develop a new relationship. Otherwise, it’s going to be very difficult for you to remain friends with that ex because they will be all in your business. That’s the tricky thing with exes; everything can be cool as long as you're not in a relationship. You think everything is cool and fun and occasionally you hang out or whatever the case may be, until one of you gets someone significant in your life then it becomes a problem. You have to define what your relationship is going to be about.

What is the most difficult hurdle in relationships that you've seen?
I think the most difficult hurdle is rebuilding trust once it’s been destroyed. I think for a lot of women especially, once trust has been distorted it’s very difficult to allow your heart to trust again. For men I think it’s loyalty. Trust is important, but if a woman is there with him through thick and thin that’s one thing but if she’s not loyal and will turn her back very quickly it’s very hard for the male to come back and trust her again.

Check back for Part II tomorrow!

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SZA Calls For Peace While Receiving 'Rule Breaker' Award At Billboard Women In Music

SZA called for peace and understanding at Billboard's Women In Music event Thursday (Dec. 6).

During her speech for the Rule Breaker award, singer-songwriter recalled today's climate, asking her peers and those watching at home for a little bit of peace.

"I'm sorry for the state of the world honestly, for everybody in this room and I pray that all of us just get through it a little bit easier and just try not to lash out at each other," she said.

The recurring theme of unity among women was also heard on the carpet from artists like Tierra Whack. In addition to her message of love, the "Broken Clocks" singer also thanked her TDE family for rocking with her creative process.

"I'm just so thankful for everybody having patience with me, " she said. Shouting out the key members of her family in attendance, the TDE affiliate gave praise to her mother, father, and grandma. In this brief speech centered around the artist's growth Solána Imani Rowe, known more commonly as her stage name, Rowe everyone for their trust in her.

"I'm grateful for everybody taking the time to have the patience to watch someone grow, it is painful and sometimes exciting but mostly boring. And I am thankful for Top (Top Dawg Entertainment's Anthony Tiffith) for not dropping me from that label. For Peter, who I change my ideas every day and he be like okay I like this," she continued.

Thanking the likes of musical powerhouses like Alicia Keys and Whack, "The Weekend" singer offered her appreciation and condolences to Ariana Grande.

Watch SZA accept the Rule Breaker award above.

READ MORE: Anderson .Paak, Tierra Whack And More Praise Female Artists At 2018 Billboard Women In Music

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Beyoncé, Rihanna, And J. Lo Make Forbes’ Highest-Paid Women In Music List

As November comes to a close, many publications will be crafting their year-end lists for all things pop culture. Forbes released a ranking of the world's highest-paid women in music on Monday (Nov. 19), with Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, and Rihanna holding it down for women of color.

Beyoncé comes in at No. 3 on the list with an earning of $60 million as she made most of her money through her historical Coachella performance, the joint album with husband JAY-Z, Everything is Love, and the Carters' On The Run II Tour in support of its release.

Jennifer Lopez made No. 6 for earnings tallying of over $47 million thanks to her lucrative Las Vegas residency, endorsements, and shows including World of Dance where she serves as a judge.

Rihanna follows behind the "Love Don't Cost A Thing" diva at No. 7 with earnings of over $37.5 million. Although she hasn't toured since 2016—thanks to her cosmetics and lingerie lines, Fenty Beauty and Savage Lingerie—the Bajan pop star has been keeping herself busy.

Forbes' annual list (which factors in pretax earnings from June 1, 2017, through June 1, 2018) has placed Katy Perry at the top with over $83 million in profits due to her gig as an American Idol judge and her 80-date Witness: The Tour that brought in an estimated $1 million per night.

Scroll down to see Forbes' full list below.

Katy Perry ($83 million) Taylor Swift ($80 million) Beyoncé ($60 million) P!nk ($52 million) Lady Gaga ($50 million) Jennifer Lopez ($47 million) Rihanna ($37.5 million) Helene Fischer ($32 million) Celine Dion ($31 million) Britney Spears ($30 million)

 

READ MORE: Nas Makes Forbes’ List Of ‘Hip-Hop Cash Kings’ For The First Time

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Kelly Rowland Hops In Her Bag With New Single "Kelly"

Kelly Rowland has it all and isn't afraid to brag about it on her new single, "Kelly."

Released Thursday (Nov. 22), the singer goes the clubby, confident route while rightfully dropping her attributes like her relationship with God, smoldering looks (a.k.a the drip) among other things. With "Kelly" being the first single since her 2013's Talk a Good Game, the singer comes out swinging, reminding everyone of her power in the game.

The mother of one has promised that her new tunes will be edgier and most honest than her past work that included vulnerable tracks like "Dirty Laundry" and massive hits like "Motivation" and "Commander." Speaking with Vogue over the summer, Ms. Kelly disclosed a few details behind the album.

“It’s about love, loss, and gain and whether it’s professional or with family or whatever, it’s just honest," she said. "I had no choice but to be honest and authentic with this record: it’s about friendship and marriage.”

She also explained a drop in confidence caused her hiatus. “I was thinking about pulling back from recording, but I couldn’t help myself: I still wanted to record. I still felt like I was missing something. The third year just came and left so fast. The fourth year I said: ‘I have to get to work’ and now I’m ready to release some music! I felt like I wasted so much time, and it was my husband who actually called me out on it. He said: ‘Babe, as great as those records were, I think you were nervous, you got gun-shy’, and when he said that it was like boom, a gong went off.”

Glad to have you back, Ms. Kelly. Listen to the eponymous record up top.

READ MORE: Kelly Rowland Debuts Smoke x Mirrors Eyewear Collection At Barneys New York

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