Personal Notes: Being Super Single Sucks


Technically, I’ve been single for years. But every now and again, there’s a guy roaming around my relationship radar. You know, the one person you cupcake with from time-to-time, the one you call after a drunk night out, the one you aren’t committed to but are doing boyfriend-girlfriend-like things with. However, after cutting out the tom foolery, I’ve found myself a little more pissed as a completely single Black female.

Okay, now wait. I’m pretty damn comfortable in who I am alone, but ask anyone who’s working hard toward success and enjoying a taste of the good life if they like being single. If they say “yes,” they’re lying. If they say “no,” toast to realness!

Even Rihanna, super-mega-gargantuan rockstar rebel, expressed the absolutely suckiness of living dolo. She recently popped up on The Jonathan Ross Show, a British talk show, to purge her feelings about the single life.

“I’m not looking, [but] I would not tell you that [being single] is something to enjoy. Single life is just so overrated. It sucks. You always want to be single when you’re in a relationship, but it’s no bueno. I think that I have such incredible experiences that, you don’t want to live your life and meet someone; you want to share your life with someone. That’s what I’m missing right now.”

Was this girl not spot on? It’s like she was reciting my life back to me! Currently, I’m just in this weird place where I have no one to phone bone at night or text midday just because. It’s troubling, eye-opening and, well, sucky. Sure, it’s fun to hit Barnes & Noble on a Saturday afternoon, ordering a cup of Starbucks for one. But on the days when you experience that once-in-lifetime awesome happening and reach for your phone to realize he’s not going to care much, you realize that this life is the pits!

Too often, Black women preach the grandness of not needing a man, spending countless nights with the girls and nursing late night glasses of wine ! Well, yeah, enjoy that lonely (but warm) body pillow life, and excuse me while I anticipate a fulfilling relationship. And frankly, that’s not something that I’m ashamed of. A man is not necessarily needed, but there’s a satisfying feeling that accompanies the knowledge of some other person in this world thinking about you romantically. Not only that, said person is able to share those unforgettable moments your  life with you.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a girl’s girl, so my best gal pals come in handy often. But I’m also a snuggle-next-my-guy kinda girl, so I’m really ready to throw the towel in on this singular mission.

When does being this super single life stop sucking?