Vixen Chat [Part 1]: Tionna Smalls Talks ‘Men Love Abuse’ and Dating No-No’s


What about the girls that are just naturally nice?
Being nice has gotten you what? Are you married? Are you with the guy of your dreams? Does he drive you places? Nah? You have a big fat zero! Therefore you don’t need to be nice but don’t get me wrong you can’t be too bitchy because you will lose but with my man it’s a balance I get nicer every year.

[Laughs] So what is it that these nice girls should do to be less nice?
Become more aggressive. I would tell them to read my book first, then try to be a little more aggressive to be a little not passive and they will see results immediately.

You can guarantee that?
I can guarantee that one specifically. It’s like you don’t put yourself in situations where you don’t want things to happen. For example, if you don’t want to have sex, don’t put yourself in the position to want to have sex. Dudes will try to play you. They will try their luck with you early.

So you learned fairly early that men love abuse?
My father would always tell me about the game when I was young. I was eight and my sister was 12 back, and he taught us very non-traditionally. Like, of course we all make mistakes, but I learned from them and I never made the same mistake twice. Disappointed maybe, but never heartbroken twice.

You advise not cooking for a man that you’re dating. What are some other things that you would put on the ‘do not’ list?
Save the Suck! That’s one of the main chapters in my book. You don’t need to be giving all your sex to your man. Like, we all did it; I was the head master at one point, but we can just keep on sucking and jiving with a man that’s not your man. And stop giving him so much access. Women we have to change in 2012 because black women are losing and not finding love.

Check back for Part II tomorrow!