Beautiful Monster: How The Audi A7 Whip Breaks From Tradition


A break from stuffy luxury wheels, Audi’s latest rich boy retains its youthful spirit Willie G.

Beauty And The Beast

If King Kong were nothing more than an angry monkey, he’d be a bore. It’s his primal bond with beauty that stamps the sensitive ape’s iconic status. Consider Audi’s beautiful monster, the 2012 A7 sportback, a saliently sculpted example of Sophia Vergara looks mated with a powertrain that’ll have you going gorillas. 

Seventh Wonder

From its striking front fascia to its “four-door coupe” styling that borrows from competitors like Mercedes’ CLS and Porsche’s Panamera, the lanky A7 reflects the brand’s new commitment to freeway stuntin’. The headlamps alone house LED daytime running lights that resemble sexily cocked eyebrows, an audacious flirt with disaster for any rearview it peers into.

Top Gun Guts

Rich leathers and matte-finish wood grain deliver the opulence of a members-only cigar lounge. The Old World tradition ends there. Hit the car’s legitimately earned push button start, and you’ll quickly see this ride wasn’t built for relaxation. Fired up, the 7’s unique split-level cluster and white illumination feel like the cockpit of some prototype stealth fighter. 

Extra Credit

Start messing around with the A7’s iPod interface or onboard Wi-Fi and you’ll easily find yourself breaking a buck. For those looking to bypass the po-po in peace, the speedometer projects to the windshield, while a Night Vision 2 system locks onto any warm-blooded objects in your path.

The Devil Inside

No PBA card or 5-0 in the fam? Keep a close watch on those glass-projected digits. With power coming from Audi’s proven 3.0 supercharged V6 and delivered to all wheels via Quattro, the A7’s 300 horses hit monstrously fast, but with amazing fluidity.

The Verdict

Come up off that animal behavior and you’ll be reminded just how much of a head-turner you’ve plopped into. Starting around $59K, the A7 is a steal. But like most luxury whips, the racks on racks pile up, and it’s not hard to trick out a final sticker in the $80-$90Ks. As agile as the sportback looks and performs, it’s still a big whip and a bear to park. Nonetheless, true love knows no boundaries, right? Stripped down or dolled up, she’s worth cuffing in any season. 

Tags: Cars, style