Couples Therapy: Tashera Simmons Talks Verbal Abuse From DMX
If you've watched VH1's Couples Therapy for even a few minutes, you've witnessed the verbal abuse Tashera Simmons, wife of DMX, has had to endure from her unpredictable spouse. The relationship is crumbling, and under public surveillance, Simmons and DMX have erupted into a war of unkind words. The budding reality star and author checked in with The Jasmine Brand to explain why she took the reality TV route, what's in store for her future and to clear up a few things about her destructive coupling with the rapper.
Here's what she had to say:
On why she decided to the reality show
“We had been separated for 6 years already, when he went and pitched another show to VH1 and they wanted to know what was going on with me and him. They asked him, ‘Can you do a show with Tashera?’ And he was like ‘She’s not gonna do it.’ Because we weren’t on good terms at all. We hadn’t talked. He was just out there doing him. So it was a real big thing, me going on the show, because I knew where he was mentally; he wasn’t the same person anymore. But I just needed closure before I called it quits… At first I said no, then he called me back and said ‘I think there are a lot of things that we can get out of this, since we never had counseling.’ That was big for him because he never usually wants to talk about anything when it comes to our relationship. So when he said that I thought it might be good for me, because I do have a lot of questions that he never answered. And I’m always approached by people asking me why me and X won’t work it out, so I was like, ‘maybe I should go and talk about what happened.’ And I wouldn’t have done it without getting paid. And he got paid more, but he gave me half of his, so that’s when I was really like it’s well worth it!”
On how she felt when she watched herself and DMX on the show:
“... I was speechless watching when X cursed me the hell out. At that time, when it was happening, I was so busy worried about the lies he was making up, that I didn’t realize how he was talking to me. But actually watching it, I realized that I’ve been immune to that talk all of these years, and I realized that I was in a verbally abusive relationship. I was just shocked, and embarrassed.”
On if he’s always been verbally aggressive
“That’s him. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I actually saw it on TV. I was just so used to him talking like that: loud, and I can’t really get a word in. He’s always like that, always dominating the conversation. Behind closed doors I would have to get like him to get my point across. I would have to yell like, ‘Mothaf*cka… If you hear what the f*ck… If you shut the f*ck…!’ He would always take me out of my character. I’m not like that, but talking to him would take me there. Just seeing the show made me realize that this is crazy. I’m glad that we separated.”
On how she felt when he claimed that he never wanted to marry her
“I was hurt and embarrassed. He’s not the type of person that does things he doesn’t want to do. I could have never gotten that man to marry me if he didn’t want to get married. So for him to lie like that, I was hurt. And then on top of that, he did it on TV. That made me look crazier.”
On her book, Finding Tashera:
“At first, I didn’t even know the name of the book, I was just writing it. But this show brought back a lot of memories from my childhood and from X. So I named it “Finding Tashera,” after I found myself on the show. Now, moving forward, I know where I want to go, what I want to do, I know my self-worth. So now I finally finished the book and I’m getting ready to start shopping it, to get a home for it. It will take about 6 months. But the reason why I’m writing this book is, not only, to tell my story, but to inspire other women who I know can relate.”
Read the full interview here!