Should People in Relationships Still Talk to People They Used To Be Intimate With?
Commitment is one word that men often don't like to hear. Let's be real, there are even some women whose nose turn up at the mention of it. Some people can do it and, for others, it takes a bit of work. But if you're going to be serious about a relationship, you have to think about it from all aspects. You may have to limit communication with certain people you were cool with while you were single or even cut them off. One question in particular is whether or not both people in the relationship should still talk to or be friends with people they used to be intimate with.
This is a tricky question, because let's just say you weren't in a relationship for two years but you had a sexual partner. Whether you think so or not, unconsciously you may care about the person or even love them, but you don't see yourself being with them. All of sudden you find yourself with someone that you're interested in, you pursue, then make it official. What about that person you were busy getting your groove on with while you were playing the field? Should they still be someone you communicate with?
I've asked around, and the responses have varied. First up, what type of communicating are we talking about? Now that we are in the age of social media, it's so much easier to flirt online, via text (sexting) and even in person. There has to be place where you draw the line if you're with someone you are truly happy with. One of my guy friends said he sees nothing wrong with people who used to occasionally hump one another being cordial. "Hey, how's life?" works, while "Hey, when are we gonna chill?" does not.
From a female perspective the tables shift a little. One of my girl friends finds it offensive that a guy would continue communicating with someone they used to be intimate with, one night stand or not. As women, we are already more emotional than men and tend to go off in a tangent of negative thoughts. Women will sometimes think the worse and not want her guy to communicate with anyone at all. On the other hand, another one of my girls mentioned that once it's out of your system (the sex), then you can be cordial while still being in a relationship. It only becomes a problem when you find yourself speaking with this person every day like they are your significant other.
At the end of the day, each situation is different and depending on how serious your relationship is should determine the answer to this.
What do you think, Vixens? Is it okay for people in relationships to talk to people they used to be intimate with?