The Guide to Gettin’ Chose.


It’s spring. The weather’s soon to break. This can only mean one thing: there’s about to be a lot of folks out here in these streets, choosin’ and “gettin’ chose.” If you’re the Sadie Hawkins type, you can stop reading here. This probably isn’t for you. You’re likely already finessing a flirty game plan; far be it from me to question your playbook.

But if you’re the come-hither type, hoping to catch a potential cuddlebud’s attention before summer, here are a few time-tested times you may want to consider:

1. Get tested. Nothing pumps the brakes on impulsive sexcapades than paps and STI tests. Even if it’s been a while and you don’t really think you need it, get out there, see your GYN and bone up (no pun intended) on all the latest in symptoms, treatments, and contraceptive options. (Now if you’re celibate and looking to stay that way, it’s still a good idea to see your doc before getting back out there this spring. Let your annual exam double as reinforcement for why you’ve decided to keep your ladyparts on lockdown in the first place.)

2. Be honest. That means with yourself and with your possible partner. Be upfront about what you want: a fling, a friendship, an eventual life partner. The way folks go into heat when the weather changes, you’re likely to find someone who’s game for any of the above.

3. Invest in sundresses. Men love sundresses; it’s a scientific fact. Something about the femininity of flowing fabrics and the way they cling to a woman’s ample curves on a breezy afternoon drives them a little insane. Let that work to your advantage.

4. Embrace a balance between chivalry and equity. Maybe he’s going to open doors and pick up the table or walk on the outermost part of the sidewalk. Maybe he’ll go as far as laying down his jacket in a puddle during a particularly torrential April shower. That’s awesome. Don’t fight it. Acing yourself out of niceties to prove your independence is a losing game. But if your first few dates turn into something ongoing, it might be a good idea to turn the tables. Offer to pay for a date. Be particularly generous with your compliments. Suggest that you’ll pick him up, rather than the other way around. Gas is a grip; he’ll appreciate you.

5. JBY: just be yourself. It may seem cliché but clichés have the ring of truth, or else they wouldn’t work as clichés. So here we go. There’s no use in feigning interest in things that don’t move you, no benefit to holding your tongue when you passionately disagree with him, no good reason to say, “That’s okay,” when he’s an hour late, texts instead of calls, or never returns attempts to contact him. Your disinterest, frustration, and/or anger will seep out eventually—and usually at an inopportune time. So drop all pretense and let your freak flag fly. You are who you are and if dude doesn’t get it, you ain’t for him to get.

Good luck out there!

- Stacia Brown