Un-Sloppy Seconds: A Case For Dating Your Friend’s Ex
Let me preface this blog with a quick, but tricky request: muzzle up your pretty little ego.
Please and thank you.
And, you’re welcome.
Okay, hi. Six months ago, this random dating query bounced down my Twitter timeline—Is a friend’s ex completely off limits? As expected a parade followed the first pied piper who RT’d with “ALWAYS!!”
Just in case you missed it, that response was donned in all caps, two exclamation points and I’m pretty sure if Twitter offered italics, those sloping bitches would’ve had their shine too.
Actually, I understand. It’s suspect to say otherwise, but the truth is there are exceptions to the damn rule. And if you don’t consider that a fact, it’s time to exercise some damn utilitarianism and be empathetic to the fact that shit happens.
(Your asses better not think I’m out here tossing every last piece of penis from Cece and Guerd’s past into my shopping cart. Hell no!)
I think we can all assume that falling for a pal’s former flame wouldn’t be an ideal matchmaker setup for anyone. Really, who wants to go out of their way to be tagged the bad guy? Sure you may actually have a sleezy ex and a sleezy buddy who secretly smashed to the point of convenient memory loss. That happens as well, but I’m not defending those two, and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t defend themselves either, because well, actions in the name of barbaric lust are difficult to rationalize.
But when it comes to dating, aka publicly demonstrating a romantic interest in someone, and wanting to hold someone’s hand that once touched you know who in you know where, takes a chunk of courage. And beyond that it takes a genuine connection… some shared flame the bad guys are willing to bet won’t be easy to extinguish. So why be territorial about expired property?
Damn this is a touchy topic…
Please note: I am not advising anyone to plot in advance how they’re going to pounce on a friend’s ex (especially if they’re still in a relationship!). I am not advising anyone to look at all their friends’ exes as equals to the anonymous suitors out and about in these streets. I am not advising anyone to date a friend’s ex knowing there’s a fresh wound still bleeding on the table.
What I am advising is this: Evaluate, then reevaluate, then re-re-evaluate before taking a leap of faith and stepping out into a downpour of awkward moments. And if you don’t consider dating him or her a leap of faith, then why even do this shit
Still wanna go for it? Here are two bullet points to consider for semi-smooth sailing: