But He Works at Starbucks! But He Works at Starbucks!

But He Works at Starbucks!

"He's really sweet and he makes me laugh," I gushed to my girlfriend about a guy I met. "And he's so cute, and he has the sexiest lips."

“Aww, I’m so happy for you. He must be something to have you smiling like that,” she said. "What does he do?"

"Oh, um, he's a manager at Starbucks.”

Silence and a side eye.

"What? I get free caramel macchiatos. That saves me $4," I joked.

She dropped her fork and quickly shot back, "He works at Starbucks. Starbucks?”

“Yeah, and?”

“Nothing, I’m just saying…”

What she was saying, without really saying it was, “You’re a college educated woman, Why are you dating a broke ass man who wears a green apron to work?”

“Anyway, we’re going out again tonight. He’s taking me dancing.”

“That’s nice,” she said before finishing off her mimosa.

But of course I couldn’t let the conversation go.

“So you think he’s beneath me? You don’t even want to know anything else about him? You didn’t even ask me his name!”

“I just don’t see you dating someone who works at Starbucks or McDonald’s or something like that. But if you like him, he’s good with me.”

All of my crush’s positive attributes went out the window once she learned of his occupation. It didn’t matter that I finally found someone who made me smile brighter than she’s seen in years. From that point on, she would still be hung up on the fact that he woke up every morning to make lattes and frappes. I would expect side eyes if I said his line of work involved illegal activity or if he’s been unemployed for a decade. But this man has a job.

He wakes up at 4 a.m. and receives a paycheck every week for his hard work. He even has benefits. Benefits!

Hell, as a freelance writer I can’t even afford insurance and I never know when I’m getting paid.

He has a job...but it’s not the right kind of job?

I couldn’t believe my girl was being so judgmental. Well, actually I could believe it.
Though she can be a bit bougie (you know I love you girl!), she shares the same sentiment of some 20-something women: if I have a degree(s), a place of my own, a passport full of stamps, then he must have the same or better.

And I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive even telling her or anyone, what he does for a living. And why did I feel this way? I knew he’d be judged on his credentials.

The typical first questions a woman wants to know about her friend’s new boo-thang involves a rundown of his resume. What he is (degrees, titles) seem to outweigh who he is (loving, supportive, etc). Questions like, "How does he treat you?" or "What do you feel when you’re with him?" don’t matter for some women.

Men, however, don’t do this. Maybe they focus more on other superficial things like a woman’s appearance, but her resume never factors into if he’ll date her or how his friend’s will judge her.

Separating the man from his job seems to be something some (not all) women can’t do. Eyes light up when a lofty position is mentioned, but those same bright eyes dim pretty quickly if there's no prestige attached to what a man does for a living. I'm sure we all know an impressive title doesn't equal automatic intelligence and a “noble” job (teacher, doctor, social worker) isn't always a reflection of a virtuous character.

Besides erroneously tying career to value, titles are so fickle and constantly changing. The CEO of today can be filing for unemployment tomorrow, or the dude who’s ringing up the register may own the joint 10 years from now. A guy’s line of work can simply be a pit shop in his journey.

And exactly how many of us are right where we want to be in our careers, so should we expect the same from a potential guy?

Did I intend to date a fella who rocks a uniform to work? Nope. But I’m glad I gave him a chance. As it turns out, Starbucks boy was a major douche bag. But douchery can come in a green smock or an Italian suit.

Weigh in Vixens, do women value a man’s credentials too heavily? Have you ever ruled a guy un-dateable because of his job?

- Patrice Williams

From the Web

More on Vibe

Getty Images

Kush & Splendor: 5 CBD Beauty Products That’ll Take Your Self-Care Routine From 0 To 100

Lotions, creams, and salves—oh my! With cannabidiol (CBD) popping up in just about every product you can imagine, the cannabis-infused beauty industry is clearly on the come-up. In fact, analysts predict that the “wellness” movement—as well as the legalization of Mary Jane across the world—will help rake in $25 billion globally in the next 10 years, according to Business Insider. That’s 15 percent of the $167 billion skincare market.

And what better way to up the ante on one’s wellness routine than with all-natural CBD? Just ask Dr. Lana Butner, naturopathic doctor and acupuncturist at NYC’s Modrn Sanctuary, who incorporates CBD in her treatments.

“CBD is a fantastic addition to acupuncture sessions for both its relaxation and anti-inflammatory, pain-relieving effects,” Butner shares with Vixen. “The calming effects of CBD allows for patients to deeply relax into the treatment and really tap into the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest, digestion and muscle repair/regeneration.”

She adds that CBD’s pain-relieving effects are “far-reaching,” from muscular and joint pains to migraines and arthritis—and even IBS and indigestion.

The magic lies in CBD’s ability to impact endocannabinoid receptor activity in our bodies. Without getting too wordy, our bodies come equipped with a system called the endocannabinoid system (ECS), which is the HBIC over our sleep, appetite, pain and immune system response. Also known as cannabidiol, CBD teams up with this system to help reduce inflammation and interact with neurotransmitters. According to Healthline, CBD has also been scientifically shown to impact the brain’s receptors for serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for regulating our mood and social behavior.

All that said, it’s important to note that not all CBD products are created equal. Many brands cashing in on the green beauty wave use hemp seed oil, sometimes referred to as cannabis sativa seed oil, in place of CBD... which doesn’t make them any less great! Hemp seed oil is actually high in antioxidants, amino acids, and omega-3 and -6 fatty acids—all of which are thebomb.com for your skin.

“It’s generally viewed as a superfood and is great for adding nutritional value to your diet,” Ashley Lewis, co-founder of Fleur Marché, told Well and Good last month. “In terms of skin care, it’s known as a powerful moisturizer and skin softener that doesn’t clog pores or contribute to oily skin.”

However, when companies start marketing CBD and hemp oil as one-in-the-same, that’s when things get a bit tricky.

“The biggest issue is that hemp seed oil and CBD are two totally different compounds that come from different parts of the hemp plant, have different makeups, and different benefits,” Lewis added. “Marketing them as the same thing just isn’t accurate and does a disservice to consumers who are expecting certain benefits that they won’t get from hemp seed oil and who are often paying more for what they think is CBD.”

So if you’re looking to benefit from the perks specifically attributed to CBD, make sure you’re reading labels before buying, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Hell, ask for a product’s test results, while you’re at it. It never hurts to be sure.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, are you ready to see what all the hype is about? For this 4/20, we rounded up a few CBD (and hemp!)-infused products to help give your self-care routine a bit of a boost. Looks like your holiday just got that much kushier. You’re welcome!

Note: Data and regulations surrounding CBD and its use are still in development. That said, please don’t take anything written in this post as medical or legal advice, and definitely double check the laws in your state. Also, please do your body a favor and hit up your doctor before trying any new supplements. We’re just tryna look out for you. Okay? Okay. Read on.

Continue Reading
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images

Vivica A. Fox Explains Past Hesitance Behind 'Two Can Play That Game' Script

In a new interview with Essence, actress Vivica A. Fox discussed how she initially turned down her role in Two Can Play That Game based on the script. The established entertainer said it's her mission to ensure that black people are positively portrayed onscreen, and noticed the aforementioned film's prose didn't live up to those standards.

"I think the reason why—no I know the reason why—I've been doing this for such a long time is that I fight," Fox said. "When we did Two Can Play That Game, I fought for the way we talked, walked, the way we loved each other." The Set It Off actress continued to state that she consistently declined Two Can Play That Game before signing on to play the lead role. "Because the script, when I first got it, I turned it down three times because it just wasn't a good representation of African-Americans, so I fought them on everything," she noted. "I want to make sure that the images of African-Americans are as positive and as true as they can possibly be."

In 2001, the romantic comedy debuted to fanfare, boasting an all-star cast of Morris Chestnut, Mo'Nique, Anthony Anderson, Bobby Brown, Gabrielle Union, Wendy Raquel Robinson, and more. Directed by Mark Brown (Barbershop, Iverson, How To Be A Player), Fox plays a career driven person named Shante Smith who navigates a curveball when her boyfriend Keith Fenton (Chestnut) cheats on her with a co-worker.

After its release, Two Can Play That Game raked in over $22 million at the box office.

Continue Reading
Actress Gabrielle Union attends the Being Mary Jane premiere, screening, and party on January 9, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for BET)
Getty Images

BET To Unveil Edible Billboard For 'Being Mary Jane' Wedding Finale

As Being Mary Jane comes to an end, BET is willing to offer fans a taste of what's to come in the series finale.

The network has enlisted the help of Ayesha Curry, celebrity cook and cookbook author, to create an edible billboard that also doubles as a wedding cake. The sweet treat will commemorate Mary Jane's (played by Gabrielle Union) nuptials in the two-hour series finale.

On April 20 from 1:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M. at Brooklyn's Atlantic Terminal in New York, fans will be presented with the edible billboard. At the intersection of Ashland Place and Hanson Place, the closer Being Mary Jane enthusiasts get to the billboard the quicker they'll notice that the four-tiered wedding cake is created from individual boxes, each containing a slice of Curry's prized wedding cake.

All fans have to do is pull a box from the billboard, snap a picture for the 'Gram, take a bite and enjoy. Although lovers of the show won't be able to celebrate with Mary Jane herself, biting into a slice of her wedding cake, for free, is the next best thing.

Don't forget to tune into the series finale of Being Mary Jane on Tues. (April 23) at 8/7 c.

Also, check out what's to come on the series of Being Mary Jane below.

Save the date! 👰🏾It'll be worth the wait. Join us for the series finale of #BeingMaryJane TUES APR 23 8/7c only on @BET! pic.twitter.com/jEwkbC71OW

— #BeingMaryJane (@beingmaryjane) March 29, 2019

Continue Reading

Top Stories