Being Rude Being Rude

Manners Still Matter: 20 Annoying Things People Do to Be Rude

I’m not a stickler for too many things—even though I’m a writer and grammar geek, I don’t even flinch when people say “conversate” instead of “converse”—but it irks my ever-lovin’ last merciful nerve when folks toss bad manners out into the world for everybody else to deal with. Sometimes it’s an unconscious, just-didn’t-know-any-better faux pas. And those kind of little social slips I can let slide with a raise of my eyebrow and a fleeting mental tsk tsk tsk. But more and more frequently, I’m bumping into this rampant breakdown of all things good and decent and courteous, behavior that’s a real eff you to the home training checklist that most of our parents and kindergarten teachers used to teach us.

It’s not that I’m vying to be the diva of refined social decorum. It comes from being raised in a household where rudeness—especially from a kid—was not only unacceptable, it was dangerous. Breeze past an adult in the house or at church without saying “hello” loud and clear enough to for them hear and see if you didn’t get yanked up by the back of your collar. Even when I brought friends home from college, they joked about my family being the most please and thank you-ing bunch they ever met. So coming from that immersion in super politeness, it could be just me. But I wonder if my fellow Clutchettes have noticed that manners have taken a massive, long-term sabbatical while bad behavior—like the following examples compiled with the help of my Facebook family—kicks all hell loose on the streets?

1. Not covering coughs and sneezes. It just can’t get any more basic than this but it happens all of the time. How hard is it to raise your hand or crook of your arm to keep personal germs… personal? Somebody launching a spray of nasty, funky snot and spit into the air from their uncovered nose or mouth is setting themselves up to get cursed out after they send everyone around them running for the nearest bottles of Lysol and hand sanitizer. Gross.

2. Loud cell conversations. For some reason, folks’ filters are put in the wind when it comes to talking on the phone in public. They give play by plays of the wild jungle sex they had last night, strategize the child support case they’re waging against their no-good baby father, speculate about the weird bumps they found around their happy place when they were getting out of the shower—all while they’re in the 15 items or less line or in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. A personal conversation need not ever become public knowledge but for some reason, folks get real caught up in conversations that put their business on blast.

3. Standing too close at the cash register. Unless you’re planning on chipping in on the bill when that total rings up, there’s no reason for anybody to be standing in the back pockets of someone paying for their items at the store. Put that stuff on the belt if there’s space and then make like Onyx and back the heck up. No one wants anybody breathing down their neck at the ATM so the same goes when they’re punching in their pin on the little card device at the Shop & Save.

4. Letting it all hang out. Ill-fitting clothing is 1) a slap in the face of fashion and 2) an awkward insult to the people who have to lay eyes on it. I don't care what nobody says: a woman with her 38 DDDs hogging all of the available oxygen in the room in a shirt that is vacuum-suction tight and five inches too low is just as rude as a little dude with his pants sagging mid-thigh and his booty flapping in the breeze. It’s an abomination to all good thoughts to look up and realize that the only thing separating you from some random guy’s wide open butt is a paper-thin pair of dingy cotton boxers.

5. Failure to launch (out of your seat). This one grinds my nerves down to the root: not standing up for elderly people, pregnant women and (for men) women in general on public transportation is fodder for a whole other article in and of itself. But it’s a sad, sad state of affairs when an 80-year-old man with a cane or an about-to-bust lady with child struggles onto the train or up the steps of the bus only to be left standing by a whole row of folks sitting defiant and not willing to do the right thing. At least offer.

6. Acting like you’re at the carry-out. You didn’t bring so much as a bowl of Chex Mix or a six-pack of sodas to your boyfriend’s family function but you have three Tupperware containers stashed in your purse for your own personal after party. You were wrong for coming empty-handed but, unless you were invited to do it, you’re super duper dead wrong for ripping off a piece of foil to take something home.

7. Letting your kids run wild. Nobody but you thinks it’s cute that Little Earl almost knocked down five innocent shoppers while he was playing a solo game of hide ‘n seek in the racks at TJ Maxx. If you didn’t look like you could whoop my behind up one side and down the next, I’d snatch him and shake some sense into him myself, but I’m forced to ask you to do it instead.

8. Facebook and Twitter etiquette. Some people don’t know how to act in real life, so that certainly translates to their presence in the big, wide world of social media. Posting naughty pictures of your ex’s man parts and tagging his new girlfriend or worse, his mother? Wrong. Making smart alecky, disparaging, just plain heffa-like comments on walls and status updates? Stop. Uploading unflattering pictures of your girlfriends just because you happen to look good in them? Rude. Your online activity is still a reflection of you so be ladylike, even in cyberspace.

9. Not speaking. Walking into someone’s house, parking your tail in somebody’s car, going to a function and hanging on the fringes without so much as a ‘hey, how you doin’?’” will surely make you the hot topic of conversation after you leave—and it won’t be about how cute your shoes were, either.

10. Smacking while eating. We’re all very glad that you’re enjoying your food. But c’mon now. It can’t possibly be your first and it’s pretty safe to say not your last meal—and even if it was, that would be all the more reason not to share it with the rest of us. Eat quieter and keep your mouth closed.

11. Driving with unedited music blaring. The beauty of riding around in warm weather is being able to feel the breeze through open windows but you ruin it for everybody else when you pull up to a red light blaring 50 Cent’s finest—especially when there are senior citizens or worse, kids in the backseat of the next car exposed to his every F bomb or B word. Multiply that ig’nance times ten if you’re piping porn through the TVs in your console/visors/headrests.

12. Pointing out to someone that they've gained weight. This one is not only dumb, it’s dangerous. You think said guy or girl doesn’t stare at the fruit of their love affair with Five Guys and chicken cheesesteaks each and every day? You ain’t shedding light on nothing they don’t already know. Ask about their family, their job, their neighborhood—heck, their watch or their earrings if you’ve got nothing else to chat about—and let that 75 pound weight gain be the pink elephant in the room that no one wants to touch. They know it, you know it, but sho nuff don’t nobody need to mention it.

13. Soliciting for charity. It’s one thing when homeless folks roll up asking for dough from cars stuck captive at the red light or sitting at the gas pump. But when employees working the register put you on the spot to donate a dollar to something like Children’s Miracle Network—loud and proud so you can feel real miserly if you’re forced to say ‘no’—it’s the equivalent of the cashier leaning over to announce to the line of people behind you that this loser is too much of a tightwad to care about the kids. In reality, you may be spending your very last $10 with nothing to spare and need a little fundraising your damn self.

14. Failing to control your umbrella. It’s bad enough that we’re on the out and about in the rain. But what makes it even worse is when you tilt your umbrella just so, so that the water goes splashing down on the person beside or behind you. Same goes for letting your wet albeit folded umbrella bump up against folks on the bus or train, or shaking it off when you get inside (why oh why did you wait until you were in the lobby on the nice, slippery floor to do that?)

15. Not acknowledging a gift received. There’s no reason why someone who takes the time to think of a friend, a loved one or a co-worker should have to wonder and theorize about whether you got the thing they sent to you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a pack of fresh gym socks or a book of diabetic recipes. Thanks are still in order for their thoughtfulness.

16. Public cussing. There’s a time and a place for everything and though peppering your conversation with four letter-riddled witticisms might be the norm at home, when you get outside of your pad you’ve got to be mindful that others might be offended by such unrefined word choices. There are kids, older folks and just a wide range of people who aren’t interested in hearing how many times you can cram the eff word into one Guinness record-setting sentence.

17. Blocking the aisle with your cart (or yourself). There’s no need to leave your basket sitting smack dab in the middle of the same path everybody has got to use to get to the bread and bottled water. It’s got wheels. Whatever you forgot and turned around to go get—take your cart with you.

18. Failure to communicate. Texting, Twitter and Facebook have made it so convenient to shoot your friends and family a little “howdy, just thinkin’ about ya” holler or random little thoughts you’d like to share with them, but when it comes to something major—the death of a relative, the breakup of a marriage or serious relationship, foreclosure on a home—you just can’t sum up the proper amount of concern in 140 characters or less. A message saying “Sry abt ur grandma. She was a gr8 lady” just doesn’t smack of sincerity.

19. Not holding the door. No one wants a door crashing in their face as they prance into their destination. Don’t be a hero and stand in wait for someone strolling clear across the parking lot. But for another person walking ten steps behind, it’s common courtesy to give them a few seconds to get to the entrance instead of letting them hustle up to eat your dust and kiss the glass door.

20. Taking too long to cash checks. You know how we do. We’ll post date it, we’ll give it to you and ask you to hold on to it until we get paid on Friday, we’ll write a reminder date in the memo line. There’s a whole set of time sensitivity rules when it comes to writing checks in the Black community. So if you don’t just go on ahead and take your butt to the bank so Aunt Ruby or Sister Jenkins can stop recalculating her checking account everyday, you run the risk of falling smack into the rude category.

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Andrea Kelly Says She's Been Attacked For Calling Out R. Kelly's Behavior

Andrea Kelly has found it hard to march for women as they continue to support her polarizing ex-husband, R. Kelly.

The former choreographer shared her sentiments on an upcoming episode of Growing Up Hip Hop: Atlanta shared on Entertainment Tonight. Speaking with close friend Debra Antney, Kelly tearfully expressed her frustrations with her ex-husband and praised Antey for sticking by her side.

The former couple was previously in a child support battle for their children Joann, 21, Jay, 19, and Robert, 17. During the time of filming, Kelly owed $161,000 in back child support to his ex. In May, it was reportedly paid off by a mysterious donor.

"When I think about the ways that I have been abused by Robert, from being hogtied, having both of my shoulders dislocated, to being slapped, pushed, having things thrown as me, the sexual abuse, the mental abuse, words can't even describe," she said.

In addition to the child support case, Kelly was charged with 11 felony counts of sexual assault. He's pleaded not guilty despite reported evidence of videotapes that reportedly show the entertainer engaging in sexual acts with minors. Andrea tells Antey how difficult the process has been for her since speaking out about Kelly's behavior in the Lifetime docu-series, Surviving R. Kelly. 

"Here I am, putting myself in a position because I want to help women, and they are attacking me," she said. "There's some things that I don't even speak anymore, that I feel like, once you give it to God, you better leave with God, because if I don't leave it with God, I'm definitely going to be somewhere with my hands on the glass, visiting my children every other Sunday."

Growing Up Hip Hop: Atlanta airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on WEtv.

Watch the clip here.

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Courtesy of Baby Tress

Baby Tress' Edge Styler Ensures Women Of Color Will Always Shake The Beauty Table

"Do you have edge control in here?"

It's an inquiry my niece asked me over the weekend as we got ready for our cousin's graduation. Atlanta's heat is friendly but mixed with nimbus clouds, frizz (and thunderstorms) are on the horizon. Given the circumstances, a high bun seems to be the best choice for me and my niece, a slick-back style with extra attention to our baby hairs. It's typical for either one of us to grab a toothbrush to slick and swoop our edges with pomade or gel, but with The Baby Tress Edge Styler, the process is easier and equally as stylish.

Created by boutique communications agency Mama Tress, the styler is everything baby hair dreams are made of. It's also a testament to the rise of the "style" in popular hair culture. With a dual comb and brush top, its pointed tip elevates a consumer to baby hair connoisseur.

But the styler isn't something created to appropriate black culture or piggyback on what boosts the most likes on social media. The handy styler was created by Mama Tress CEO Hannah Choi and her team consisting of other women of color like public relations coordinator Mariamu "Mimi" Sillah. The New York native tells VIBE Vixen the styler was made as a gift for an event they hosted but its intentions to propel black hair were always present.

"We try to make it clear that this is for women of color. Because we all understand the history of baby hair, we all have connections, we all have stories, we all do it differently, some people swoop it; if you see some of my coworkers they do the swirls," she said. "This is a product that we want everyone to see and think, 'I don't need to be using a toothbrush. I deserve more than a toothbrush.' This is a tool made thoughtfully with women of color in mind and we are women of color who came up with the idea because we know what we need."

Coming in six different colors, the styler's bristles are stronger than a typical toothbrush and give anyone's edges a look all their own. Over the years, styled baby hairs have gotten the white-washed celeb treatment. From the runways of New York Fashion Week to fans of black culture like Kim Kardashian, its recent love affair among popular culture crosses out its rich roots.

Many have attributed the actual rise of baby hairs to the '70s with pioneers like LaToya Jackson and Sylvia Robinson of CEO Sugar Hill Records sporting their luxurious edges with Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas being the all-time queen. Recent entertainers like Ella Mai and FKA twigs have made them fun and creative. There are also the many Latinx and black around the way queens who have kept the culture alive.

 

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A post shared by Ebony Brown (@wildcatebonybrown) on Jun 3, 2019 at 1:31pm PDT

“Our tool is more than a beauty product, it’s a conversation starter," Choi, who is of Korean descent, previously told fashion site Beauty Independent. "There are nuances of someone’s world that you won’t see if you’re not part of that community. And we felt that the conversation around why this market is so underserved should be brought to light and talked about. We are seeing such a big change now in fashion and beauty in terms of representation, and we want to be able to have that conversation without it being heavy. We want it to be approachable. Our brand is very approachable.”

When it comes to moving in the black hair space, Sillah feels empowered at Mama Tress. It also makes it easy to develop black hair tools like the styler. "I feel like my voice is listened to because I am a consumer of all these things. It's empowering to be in a position to have more control," she said. "If we're being honest, a lot of the black hair spaces are not owned by people who look like us. To be in a position where I can say "No, don't create this product, we don't wear things like this,' or 'Actually you should name it this because this resonates with this community,' I'm an advocate for my community. That's part of the reason why Baby Tress was created because it's about a larger conversation, about things not being thoughtfully made for us."

Baby Tress' next steps are to make the styler accessible to consumers and create even more products dedicated to black women.

“We need to be in retail spaces because this is a product you need to see up close and touch it and play with it,” said Shannon Kennard, account executive at Mama Tress tells Glossy. “Everyone who tries it falls in love with it.”

Sillah is more than ready for women of color to elevate their beauty regimen, one creation at a time. The future of Baby Tress includes an array of more products designed with women of color in mind.

"Anything that has to do with baby hair, we can bring to Baby Tress and make it beautifully designed and effective," she said.  "That's what this is about. It's about that step up. Again, we should not be using a toothbrush anymore."

Learn more about Baby Tress here.

 

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Beyonce Readies New Line And Serves As Muse For 'Lion King' Makeup Collection

Beyonce is keeping her fans quite busy this week. Yesterday (June 4), the latest trailer for the forthcoming The Lion King live action film gave the masses a first listen of Beyonce as the voice of Nala. To add on to the Disney film's energy, Beyonce's longtime makeup artist Sir John has revealed a special Lion King makeup partnership.

According to The Cut, Disney's Sir John x Luminess Lion King Limited Edition Collection includes "a 6-shade sculpting palette, a 12-shade eyeshadow palette, two matte lipsticks, two liquid lipsticks, a tinted lip balm, and a highlighter." Neutrals, pinks and shimmer jewel tones are all named after characters and other movie references, with various women (including Beyonce) modeling the new work.

 

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From day to night, statement or muted.. I love that there’s so many different looks you can create with this 8 piece collection 🙌🏽 I’ll be posting a few tutorials this month to show you guys some really cool things you can do with these products. & be sure to check out #TheLionKing in theaters July 19!  #DisneyLionKing #SirJohn #LuminessCosmetics

A post shared by S I R J O H N (@sirjohnofficial) on Jun 2, 2019 at 3:05pm PDT

 

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No filters needed ⚠️ Can’t Wait To Be Queen Eyeshadow Palette working that good light 👑✨ #TheLionKingCollectionbySirJohnXLuminess #SirJohn #LuminessCosmetics

A post shared by S I R J O H N (@sirjohnofficial) on Jun 4, 2019 at 9:18am PDT

While that was happening, Bey also caused a stir amongst the BeyHive with the announcement of her own forthcoming merch line. The "BeyHive" range officially hits her website on June 11, right in time for all the summertime functions.

Beyoncé's new "beyhive" range has been sent to several members of the BeyHive is promotion of her new merch line, launching June 11. https://t.co/zIkzJ9B8Qq pic.twitter.com/Ql9yWXKNDR

— BEYONCÉ HUB (@theyoncehub) June 5, 2019

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