Side Pieces Side Pieces

Men Can Be Side-Pieces Too

“I‘m not good enough to be on her arm,” one of my guy friends confessed over drinks not long ago.

He looked distraught, as if his entire world had just crashed around him and there was nothing that he could do about it. Dark circles from sleepless nights marred his usually bright eyes. And although his enthusiasm about life is always on ten, on this particular night it was barely a one. He looked downright pitiful and it was because he had just found out the woman he thought was falling for him was only using him for sex.

Although I understood his shock, I couldn’t, and still don’t, understand how he didn’t see the signs.

In the five months they were seeing each other they rarely hung out in public, she never introduced him to her family or friends, and aside from enjoying each other in the bedroom, they didn’t seem to have much in common.

From the beginning they were an odd pair. She comes from money and an elite life, while he works hard for everything he has. Though a persons background might not matter to some, it did to her. And after a week of ignoring his calls, she dropped a bomb; she was engaged. Despite getting it on with my friend for months, she had been dating another man for four years who was everything on paper, except what she needed in the bedroom.

“I think the hardest part of realizing that she had no feelings at all for me besides the sex is that she spent so much time pretending that she did,” he told us.

Eventually, the woman confessed to him that, despite her engagement, she would still like to continue to see him. While some men may have jumped at the chance to have no-strings-attached sex with a beautiful woman, it left my friend disturbed and with no other choice but to walk away.

I tried to find the words to comfort him, but nothing seemed to help. He was nothing but a boy toy to her and she never had any intention of being in a serious relationship with him. In her mind he wasn’t good enough to take to company events, to meet her parents, or even accompany her on a dinner date to a popular restaurant. The only thing he seemed to be good enough for was pleasing her, which was a sad reality that hit my dear friend like a sledgehammer.

The entire situation made me think about the cheating, and its various double standards. Typically, cheating is associated with men and even the language we use to describe it--jump off, a side-piece, mistress—all relate to men stepping out with other women. But very rarely do we talk about the women who cheat, digging their heels so deep in a man’s heart that he has a hard time ever trusting another woman again.

Many times we jump on men for their wrongdoings without ever considering where their shadiness might have started in the first place. While it doesn’t mean they get a pass for their dirt (because they don’t), my friend’s situation was a reminder that men get broken hearts too.

I used to laugh at my male friends when they would say they were having a hard time finding a woman to get serious with because of trust issues. Impossible, I would think, they have so many options when it comes to good woman to choose from.

Now, I understand that you never know what’s going on behind closed doors. The beautiful woman with the fancy title, full bank account, enormous diamond engagement ring and great guy on her arm who seems to have it all—just might…and then some.

But like I told my friend, sometimes in life you have to learn to love what’s good for you and not what you think is good for you. But that might be another discussion for another day.

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City Girls Get "Careless" In New Music Video

In honor of the one-year anniversary of their debut project Period, City Girls has dropped a music video for their song "Careless."

The video stars the rap duo, Yung Miami and J.T., the latter who is currently serving a two-year sentence in Tallahassee. The visual directed by Gabriel "Video God" Hart, features the two rap divas sporting their iced out Quality Control chains rapping in the streets of what appears to be Miami. Both Yung Miami and J.T. are donning the same outfits, distressed jean shorts-underwear, a cropped Miami jersey with a white turtleneck underneath and the classic Timberland boots.

City Girls are showing exactly what they're made of as they rap about "living life so careless," and "h**s [being] so mad it's evident" with an entourage of women behind them. The short clip is full of fun-filled energy as the hot rappers bounce from location to location. Whether they're in a hotel room sipping on some Hennessy, in a store copping a couple of things, they still manage to get their bars off.

The visual is a good representation of what fans can expect from the rap duo, even more so if they see them in concert. Most recently Yung Miami performed the girls' big hit, "Act Up" at Rolling Loud with the help of Lil' Yachty, their co-collaborator on the song. Next up for Yung Miami is the Hot 97 Summer Jam on June 2 at the MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.

Make sure to check out their music video above and stream Period in celebration of its one-year anniversary.

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Blac Chyna attends the BET Hip Hop Awards 2017 at The Fillmore Miami Beach at the Jackie Gleason Theater on October 6, 2017 in Miami Beach, Florida
Photo by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for BET

Blac Chyna Named As Suspect In Assault Against Hair Stylist

Well, this isn't the best way to celebrate your birthday.

Blac Chyna has reportedly got in trouble with the law again after a confrontation with her hair stylist. TMZ reports the Chyna and the employee who hasn't been unidentified, were at Chyna's home in San Fernando Valley, Calif. when they got into an argument over payment.

The police report alleges after the hair stylist attempted to collect her check from Chyna, the 31-year-old pulled out a knife. The hair dressed left and reportedly threw soda cans at Chyna's car. A source shared with the outlet that Chyna didn't have a weapon on her person but there were cans thrown at her car.

Because Chyna's six-year-old son King was present, there's a chance the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services will get involved for a possible welfare check.

Chyna hasn't addressed the incident but will more than likely still have a nice birthday.

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Queen Naija attends the 2019 Billboard Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 01, 2019 in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Queen Naija Responds To Backlash For Going Public About Plastic Surgery

Queen Najia's decision to be blunt about her plastic surgery was met with backlash when she was accused of normalizing the procedure for young women.

The singer-songwriter who is known for her bold personality and power vocals shared the video titled, "Revealing My New Body | One Week Post Op Tummy Tuck + BBL (Brazillian Buttlift)" on YouTube Friday (May 10). In a previous video, Naija vlogged her plans to get a tummy tuck while heading to the Billboard Music Awards where she was nominated for Top R&B Female Artist.

The singer previously went under the knife after the birth of her first child in 2017, leading to a case of bad fibrosis. "I'm really really happy about the results," she said. "I basically got a tummy tuck and I got my hernia repaired around my belly navel, it would puff out because of my loose skin. I had really really bad fibrosis from the smart lipo I got two years ago."

In her recap video, the singer seemed to be visibly happy with the results and additional unplanned surgery for the Brazilian Buttlift. "I'm just really really happy. I feel more confident with my body and being a mom with two kids and having two c-sections, and all the stuff going on with myself, I'm really happy," she said Friday. "I will not be getting any more surgery. I won't turn into one of those girls who gets lip fat added and all this stuff. I'm not touching my face. As yall know I got eye fillers and I'm never doing that again."

But her joy was quickly met with criticism after The Shade Room picked up a portion of the video on their Instagram page. Naija responded in jest. "Now if I would have kept it a secret, like a lot of other women who’ve had surgery.. everyone would have saying “Liar, did you get surgery, why you hiding it?” she said.  Lol, I tell the truth & it’s still an issue. Hilarious. Imma take my new booty and hide in a ditch."

 

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#QueenNaija stepped into #TheShadeRoom to say she’s keeping it real about her surgery, period. 👀👀 (SWIPE)

A post shared by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on May 10, 2019 at 7:39pm PDT

The "Medicine" singer has been open with her journey to building her self-esteem and has shared why she decided to try surgery. "I do love myself but at the same time, you have to make your self happy," she said in 2017. "You don't have to look in the mirror and see what I see. At the end of the say, I'm the one who has to put up with my self-esteem. I tried to diet and workout but I didn't see any results in my stomach area [because of c-section]."

The topic of surgical enhancement with women of color has been a controversial topic, with many women dying for trying under the table procedures. Standards of beauty have continuously changed with social media and influencers holding relevance over the youth but the singer hasn't promoted the option to go under the knife to her fans.

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