Wives Wives

Wife vs. Wifey

When I was growing up, the "Unofficial Woman’s Handbook" always spun the idea, that when it came to a woman’s virtue, the best bet would be to hold on to what you have, and a man’s response to your chastity would resolve itself into a life of happiness and matrimony.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.” Words were no truer a reality, then they are now in this generation where marriage has become somewhat of an urban legend, or possibly the next stop in mythological findings.

Times have definitely changed, and the game of love doesn’t necessarily honor its members with a salute of longevity by way of exchanging vows. Rather, the new plan of attack is to just cop yourselves a prototype; a title officially known to most as “wifey.”

But what exactly is a wifey anyway? Is this the new standard women should aim for rather than bothering with the archaic ideology that marriage is the game of fortune?

Wifey’s are far different than being a man’s girlfriend. Usually a girlfriend aspires to be a man’s wife. On the other hand, wifey’s aspire to keep a man happy, whether the title of wife comes in the future or not.

The name in itself has all the pleasures of everything a wife possesses, but when a brother wants to walk away, he can do so without having to miss a beat due to court appearances or battles over the shared property.

In the wake of recent public divorces involving Swizz Beatz and Dwyane Wade, it would seem as if the exchanging of vows no longer offers the security it once did when it comes to hoping for a guarantee in forever. Does this mean love would be better served if we just threw away the idea of marriage? Should we opt to stay in the pretense of matrimony with someone who would be willing to wear the crown without being sworn in to the throne?

Maybe.

It might save people a lot of trouble and misfortune, to just cop themselves a wifey, instead of trying to find forever with a wife. Hmph… if only I believed that theory.

Unfortunately, being able to cut your losses when the going gets tough is becoming the most attractive venture in aspiring relationships. It’s also an excuse for folks to treat love like a temporary tattoo--easily washed and removed when the surface appears to get tattered and torn, rather then working to fix the problems.

In examining the two, there are vast differences in both titles.

The duties of a wifey are definitely not those of a wife.

Oh no. A wifey’s sole responsibility is to keep it fun, playful, and sexually interesting at all times. They don’t have to worry about exploring the budget, because the plan isn’t for them to hold down a household. And until that theory changes, they can enjoy the perks of living the life of a wife, without having to actually worry about paying the mortgage.

But what really makes these women so attractive to men is they’d rather settle down with someone who they see no end in sight with?

To many, wifeys mark the difference between a man coming home to a frumpy housemate, versus running home to play house with a sexy bedmate.

Most cheaters claim after they got married, everything changed. All the sexy their woman once had dried up like a grape turning into a raisin once the vows were said. Wifey’s on the other hand stay sexy year round, which makes them a more attractive mate, than waking up next to a woman who suddenly looks like her mom.

In defense of said women, the responsibilities of a wife far outweigh the laid back lifestyle of a man’s wifey. Wives cook and clean, while wifeys kick back, relax, and look good on a man’s arm. Wives have to work full time, and maintain the household once they get home. Wifeys have to maintain only the relationship by keeping a man pleasured, happy, and continually interested in their presence.

It should be noted that just because a woman gets married doesn’t mean she’ll let herself go. There are plenty of women who can sustain a superwoman posture, and still remind their man why he chose them in the first place.

Yet even with all of this on the table, more and more men are either leaving their wives for these women, or settling with women who are cool with the idea  they never have to formally commit to forever.

With Michelle Obama standing tall as the wife many of us desire to one day be, should we still hope our men will always want to “Put a Ring On It,” or must we prepare ourselves for the role of playing house for as long as our car is allowed in the driveway?

Is it cool to be a wifey or should be demand to be a wife? Do you think a woman can be both?

 

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Vivica A. Fox Explains Past Hesitance Behind 'Two Can Play That Game' Script

In a new interview with Essence, actress Vivica A. Fox discussed how she initially turned down her role in Two Can Play That Game based on the script. The established entertainer said it's her mission to ensure that black people are positively portrayed onscreen, and noticed the aforementioned film's prose didn't live up to those standards.

"I think the reason why—no I know the reason why—I've been doing this for such a long time is that I fight," Fox said. "When we did Two Can Play That Game, I fought for the way we talked, walked, the way we loved each other." The Set It Off actress continued to state that she consistently declined Two Can Play That Game before signing on to play the lead role. "Because the script, when I first got it, I turned it down three times because it just wasn't a good representation of African-Americans, so I fought them on everything," she noted. "I want to make sure that the images of African-Americans are as positive and as true as they can possibly be."

In 2001, the romantic comedy debuted to fanfare, boasting an all-star cast of Morris Chestnut, Mo'Nique, Anthony Anderson, Bobby Brown, Gabrielle Union, Wendy Raquel Robinson, and more. Directed by Mark Brown (Barbershop, Iverson, How To Be A Player), Fox plays a career driven person named Shante Smith who navigates a curveball when her boyfriend Keith Fenton (Chestnut) cheats on her with a co-worker.

After its release, Two Can Play That Game raked in over $22 million at the box office.

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Actress Gabrielle Union attends the Being Mary Jane premiere, screening, and party on January 9, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for BET)
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BET To Unveil Edible Billboard For 'Being Mary Jane' Wedding Finale

As Being Mary Jane comes to an end, BET is willing to offer fans a taste of what's to come in the series finale.

The network has enlisted the help of Ayesha Curry, celebrity cook and cookbook author, to create an edible billboard that also doubles as a wedding cake. The sweet treat will commemorate Mary Jane's (played by Gabrielle Union) nuptials in the two-hour series finale.

On April 20 from 1:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M. at Brooklyn's Atlantic Terminal in New York, fans will be presented with the edible billboard. At the intersection of Ashland Place and Hanson Place, the closer Being Mary Jane enthusiasts get to the billboard the quicker they'll notice that the four-tiered wedding cake is created from individual boxes, each containing a slice of Curry's prized wedding cake.

All fans have to do is pull a box from the billboard, snap a picture for the 'Gram, take a bite and enjoy. Although lovers of the show won't be able to celebrate with Mary Jane herself, biting into a slice of her wedding cake, for free, is the next best thing.

Don't forget to tune into the series finale of Being Mary Jane on Tues. (April 23) at 8/7 c.

Also, check out what's to come on the series of Being Mary Jane below.

Save the date! 👰🏾It'll be worth the wait. Join us for the series finale of #BeingMaryJane TUES APR 23 8/7c only on @BET! pic.twitter.com/jEwkbC71OW

— #BeingMaryJane (@beingmaryjane) March 29, 2019

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The North Face

Ella Mai On The North Face's 'Explore Mode' Campaign, New Music And Living In The Moment

Ella Mai is in her own age of exploration. Her eponymous debut album scored her a platinum plaque with her breakout hit, "Boo'd Up" earning her a Grammy for Best R&B Song. But the accolades aren't driving her creative path. The arc in her compass is all about the places she's traveled, the people she's met and the lessons learned along the way.

"To be honest, personally, exploration is like growth. I feel like if you don't explore new things, whether it's going outside, meeting people or trying new food, you won't ever grow because you're just stuck in your little comfort zone which can be super scary to come out of," she tells VIBE at The North Face's Explore Mode event in New York on Monday (April 15). The singer is one of three women (including model-activist Gabrielle Richardson and chef Angela Dimayuga) who teamed up with the brand to share a message of enjoying the outside world without digital confinement and the global initiative to make Earth Day a national holiday.

The London native's urge to explore came in handy over the weekend when she performed in the brisk desert of Coachella. Inspired by artists like Rihanna and Ms. Lauryn Hill, Mai helped fans enjoy the hazy sunset as she performed hits like "Trip" and her latest No. 1 song, "Shot Clock."

"It's such a good feeling, especially when it comes to radio," she shared about her track reaching No. 1 on the airplay chart. "I wasn't even sure if people listened to the radio because people have so much access to streaming platforms, but obviously having all three of my singles from my debut album, go number one on urban radio is incredible."

That energy was brought to the Coachella stage with the festival being her biggest artistic exploration so far.

"My favorite part of the performance would have to be when I performed "Naked" and because it was dark, and I performed when the sun went down, I couldn't see how far the crowd actually went back. But during "Naked," it was such an intimate moment I asked everyone to put their lights up (phones) and when I saw how far it went back I was like, "Woah." That moment sealed it for me."

"Even there were two people in the audience, I still would've done my best," she added. "But just to see the crowd be so engaged, even if they didn't know the music, was a really good feeling. I had so much fun."

As the festival energy in Indio, Calif. continued to thrive, another rested on the streets of Los Angeles following the loss of Nipsey Hussle. With the singer having ties to those close to the rapper like DJ Mustard, she says the shift in the city was hard to ignore.

"As weird as it sounds, you felt it," she said. "Even in the weather, it was super hot and then everyone got the news and it started raining. Just a weird energy shift." As a new L.A. resident, the singer says Nipsey's influence cannot be denied.

"I feel like the energy shift went both ways; everyone was really sad, grieving and mourning but everyone feels more inspired by what he was doing that they want to go out and do something and change in their community. It's still a very touchy subject in L.A., especially the people that I'm around since they were very close to him. I think everyone is super inspired to do better and try to be more like him, which is great to see. YG's whole set at Coachella was dedicated to him, I know Khalid had a dedication to Mac Miller. Everyone is super aware of what Nipsey was trying to do and how he wanted to change the world."

Engaging in The North Face's mission to explore seemed to be in the cards for Mai. Like many of us, Mai was familiar with the brand's effective coolness factor. "I remember running home and telling my mom that I needed a Jester Backpack because my cousin had one as well, and it's similar to the other stories, I wanted to be like my older cousin (laughs) so my mom ended up getting me one." But there's also the incentive to showcase the importance of stepping away from the phone screens and into leafy green forests.

"I'm such a live-in-the-moment person," she says of her lack of identity on social media. While she might share a thought or two on social media, Mai is interested in appreciating the world around her. "I feel like everyone is so consumed about documenting the day, you don't really get to live the day. You just watch it back but I like to have the memories in my head. Of course, sometimes, I'll take out my phone but I try to live in the moment as much as possible."

Part of that mission is ensuring Earth Day is celebrated the right way. With the support of Mai, Richardson, and Dimayuga, The North Face officially launched a petition to make Earth Day a national holiday.

“The North Face is no stranger to exploration and this Earth Day we are proud to join our partners and fellow explorers in a global effort to make Earth Day a national holiday,” said Global General Manager of Lifestyle at The North Face, Tim Bantle. “We believe that when people take time to appreciate the Earth, they feel more connected to it and are more likely to protect it. Explore Mode urges us to unplug from our digital lives to connect in real life to the world, each other, and ourselves in the effort to move the world forward.”

Mai hasn't hit her all of her exploration goals just yet. "I really want to go to Indonesia or Bali," she said. "That's one of my Bucket List places I really, really, really wanna go." For her essentials, the singer knows she has to bring along a windbreaker set and of course, a jester backpack. "I think the backpack is the most important thing."

In addition to a few trips around the globe, one destination includes the studio for new music. While she hasn't had time to lock down a moment to record, the inspiration is sizzling.

"When I work in the studio, I like to be like there for a good amount of time," she explains. "I like to block off two to three weeks at a time, I don't like to go to different studios and different places, it's just a comfort thing but I'm very excited to get back cause I have a lot of talk about. I've seen so many different places and met so many new people and a lot that I didn't get to experience last year."

Learn more about The North Face's petition for Earth Day here.

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