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Wife vs. Wifey

When I was growing up, the "Unofficial Woman’s Handbook" always spun the idea, that when it came to a woman’s virtue, the best bet would be to hold on to what you have, and a man’s response to your chastity would resolve itself into a life of happiness and matrimony.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.” Words were no truer a reality, then they are now in this generation where marriage has become somewhat of an urban legend, or possibly the next stop in mythological findings.

Times have definitely changed, and the game of love doesn’t necessarily honor its members with a salute of longevity by way of exchanging vows. Rather, the new plan of attack is to just cop yourselves a prototype; a title officially known to most as “wifey.”

But what exactly is a wifey anyway? Is this the new standard women should aim for rather than bothering with the archaic ideology that marriage is the game of fortune?

Wifey’s are far different than being a man’s girlfriend. Usually a girlfriend aspires to be a man’s wife. On the other hand, wifey’s aspire to keep a man happy, whether the title of wife comes in the future or not.

The name in itself has all the pleasures of everything a wife possesses, but when a brother wants to walk away, he can do so without having to miss a beat due to court appearances or battles over the shared property.

In the wake of recent public divorces involving Swizz Beatz and Dwyane Wade, it would seem as if the exchanging of vows no longer offers the security it once did when it comes to hoping for a guarantee in forever. Does this mean love would be better served if we just threw away the idea of marriage? Should we opt to stay in the pretense of matrimony with someone who would be willing to wear the crown without being sworn in to the throne?

Maybe.

It might save people a lot of trouble and misfortune, to just cop themselves a wifey, instead of trying to find forever with a wife. Hmph… if only I believed that theory.

Unfortunately, being able to cut your losses when the going gets tough is becoming the most attractive venture in aspiring relationships. It’s also an excuse for folks to treat love like a temporary tattoo--easily washed and removed when the surface appears to get tattered and torn, rather then working to fix the problems.

In examining the two, there are vast differences in both titles.

The duties of a wifey are definitely not those of a wife.

Oh no. A wifey’s sole responsibility is to keep it fun, playful, and sexually interesting at all times. They don’t have to worry about exploring the budget, because the plan isn’t for them to hold down a household. And until that theory changes, they can enjoy the perks of living the life of a wife, without having to actually worry about paying the mortgage.

But what really makes these women so attractive to men is they’d rather settle down with someone who they see no end in sight with?

To many, wifeys mark the difference between a man coming home to a frumpy housemate, versus running home to play house with a sexy bedmate.

Most cheaters claim after they got married, everything changed. All the sexy their woman once had dried up like a grape turning into a raisin once the vows were said. Wifey’s on the other hand stay sexy year round, which makes them a more attractive mate, than waking up next to a woman who suddenly looks like her mom.

In defense of said women, the responsibilities of a wife far outweigh the laid back lifestyle of a man’s wifey. Wives cook and clean, while wifeys kick back, relax, and look good on a man’s arm. Wives have to work full time, and maintain the household once they get home. Wifeys have to maintain only the relationship by keeping a man pleasured, happy, and continually interested in their presence.

It should be noted that just because a woman gets married doesn’t mean she’ll let herself go. There are plenty of women who can sustain a superwoman posture, and still remind their man why he chose them in the first place.

Yet even with all of this on the table, more and more men are either leaving their wives for these women, or settling with women who are cool with the idea  they never have to formally commit to forever.

With Michelle Obama standing tall as the wife many of us desire to one day be, should we still hope our men will always want to “Put a Ring On It,” or must we prepare ourselves for the role of playing house for as long as our car is allowed in the driveway?

Is it cool to be a wifey or should be demand to be a wife? Do you think a woman can be both?

 

From the Web

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Courtesy of Inayah Lamis

Premiere: Inayah Lamis Busts The Windows Out Of Toxic Love In Visuals For "Best Thing"

Breakups are never easy but let Inayah Lamis heal your heart with her cheeky video for "Best Thing." Inspired by true events, the Houston native sings about bitter feelings about love gone astray.

The emotional ballad is simple in production thanks to the presence of an acoustic guitar, allowing Lamis to show off her vocal chops. Reminiscent of 2000s R&B gems like "I Wished You Loved Me" by Tynisha Keli and recent classics like Tink's "Treat Me Like Somebody," Lamis finds the right words that almost anyone can relate to.

"The track “Best Thing” was birthed from a realtime heartbreak," she tells VIBE. "I went into the lab and wrote it while I was ending a relationship that had a strong hold over me. I literally cried in the booth as I was singing it. My hopes are that every woman or man that has been emotionally broken and taken for granted by a lover will feel comfort in knowing that leaving was the best thing they ever did for themselves."

Thanks to her around the way aura, the video plays off her personality with the presence of "Smakie Lamis" taking Lamis out of her sad girl feels over her deceitful partner, allowing her to hop in the whip and bust out some car windows–even if it's not her beau's car. Directed by Michelle Parker, the video also plays up Lamis' Houston swag as she rides around town in a candy green whip.

The budding singer knows how important her songwriting plays a role in her relationship with fans. Lamis previously shared a bit of her writing style with Refinery29, while opening up about the importance of body positivity.

"Anytime something impacts my life, I write it down and make a song out of it," she said. In her previous visuals for "Suga Daddy," the singer turned up the sexy for a good reason. "I've displayed my confidence as a chunky girl in this video. So many people have things to say about curvy, bigger girls. I feel like we're in a space now where we're able to finally have a voice and be free, and still be sexy. Particularly with the wardrobe, I wanted to show some skin, to show those curves, those back rolls, those fat little pockets I got underneath my chin and shit. I wanted to make sure I displayed that and rocked the hell out of it, confidently."

Lamis is gearing up to release her debut EP S.O.L.A.R. (Storytelling Over Lyrics and Rhymes) on Dec. 13. The singer hopes to share more stories her fans will appreciate and the masses will adore. Her come-up is a digital grassroots movement thanks to her remake of Ella Mai's "Boo'd Up" in 2018 leading to her debut studio single  "N.A.S.," an acronym for "Ni**as ain't S**t."

 

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BEST THING CHALLENGE 🔥 -Stream/Download my new song BEST THING -DM me your videos -No instruments -No music -Just you & your voice -#Bestthingchallenge

A post shared by Aʅʅ I Nҽҽԃ Iʂ Oɳҽ Mιƈ... 🎤 (@inayah_lamis) on Nov 18, 2019 at 12:05am PST

Taking things up a notch, Lamis announced the #BestThingChallenge to welcome fellow sangers to show off their vocals.

Before diving into the challenge, enjoy the visuals for "Best Thing" below.

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Singer Whitney Houston is seen performing on stage during the 2004 World Music Awards at the Thomas and Mack Center on September 15, 2004 in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Whitney Houston's Close Friend Robyn Crawford Details Romantic Relationship In New Memoir

Whitney Houston's personal life has been explored ten times over since her untimely passing in 2012 but one of her closest friends wants to share with the world the Whitney she knew and ultimately fell in love with.

In excerpts to People Wednesday (Nov. 6), Robyn Crawford presents a strong bond between the two in her new memoir, A Song For You: My Life With Whitney Houston. The singer and Crawford met in their youth while working at a summer camp in East Orange, New Jersey. From there, their friendship blossomed into something more romantic. With homophobia running rampant in the 80s, Crawford says they never looked at labels but enjoyed the experiences they shared together.

“We never talked about labels, like lesbian or gay,” writes Crawford. “We just lived our lives and I hoped it could go on that way forever.”

As their journey continued, Whitney's star began to rise which put allegedly put their romance on ice. “She said we shouldn’t be physical anymore,” writes Crawford. "Because it would make our journey even more difficult. She said if people find out about us, they would use this against us....and back in the ’80s, that’s how it felt. I kept it safe. I found comfort in my silence.”

Whitney's relationship with Crawford was mentioned in the 2018 documentary Whitney. Created by the singer's estate, the film focused on the singer's legacy and didn't include first-hand accounts from Crawford. Family members were weary of their special friendship.

"I’ve never seen them do anything but I know that she was something that I didn’t want my sister to be involved with," Whitney's brother Gary stated in the documentary.

But Crawford is finally ready to tell her own story while "lifting" Houston's legacy.

“I wanted to lift her legacy, give her respect and share the story of who she was before the fame, and in that, to embrace our friendship,” she tells People. "I'd come to the point where I felt the need to stand up for our friendship. And I felt an urgency to stand up and share the woman behind the incredible talent."

A Song for You: My Life with Whitney Houston is expected to hit bookshelves this fall.

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Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Black Music Honors

Keke Wyatt Announces That She's Pregnant With Her Tenth Child

Keke Wyatt has news to share that concerns expanding her family tree. On Monday (Oct. 14), the "If Only You Knew" singer revealed that she's pregnant with her tenth child.

"My husband Zackariah Darring and I are so happy to announce that we are expecting our new bundle of joy!" she wrote on Instagram. "We are excited to welcome the 10th addition to our beautiful family."

The vocalist continued to state that fans can follow her pregnancy journey on her YouTube series The Keke Show where she gives an intimate look at how she balances her career and motherhood.

 

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My husband Zackariah Darring and I are so happy to announce that we are expecting our new bundle of joy! We are excited to welcome the 10th addition to our beautiful family. Stay tuned for the release date & information for my new YouTube Series “The Keke Show” where you will see me balancing Wife, Mommy and Artist!!! Trust me.. it’s never a dull moment with my family. Love ya sugars💋💋💋 photo credit: @keever_west Styled/Designed by: @keever_west Asst: @freddyoart

A post shared by Keke Wyatt (@keke_wyatt) on Oct 14, 2019 at 4:43pm PDT

In an interview with The Christian Post, Wyatt said she believes she has "an anointing with motherhood" and looks at her children as fuel to keep striving in her career.

"I just don't believe in shutting down. I believe in that's what the Lord had for me," she said. "Babies don't get in the way of careers, we get in the way of careers. If that's what the Lord had for me from the very beginning, there's nothing nobody can do and nobody can say."

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