You Ain’t Nothing But a Vulture You Ain’t Nothing But a Vulture

You Ain’t Nothing But a Vulture

Every year millions of people scribe their resolutions on mental wax and profess to make lifelong changes, with the hope of spearheading this turn of events at the stroke of the new hour.

After only a few weeks in the tide, our proposals often get washed away by the panic of having to follow through, or the struggle that comes from wanting instant gratification. Unfortunately, as the saying goes, “Hope Floats,” so I guess the chore of following through with a plan sometimes supersedes the good intention.

Personally, I no longer dabble in the task of setting myself up for a potential failure. For some, resolutions work, but for myself, I opt to live my life day-to-day, making better choices during the necessity of the moment.

What I did do this year, however, is spend my last breaths in 2010 reflecting on my relationships; glaring at the numbers and evaluating whether or not certain individuals in my life truly belonged there, or if they were just cuffing the shadows, waiting with baited breath.

What I realized was that sometimes relationships expire, but still remain on the shelf. Although I have more than a handful of people whom I consider a huge factor in my happiness, there was far too many stragglers who needed to be cut from the sash a long time ago.

One of the hardest things for a person to do is say “Deuces” to someone who’s just lingering in the back. Without a struggle or a conflict there never seems to be a reason for tossing up those two fingers.

We find ourselves just dealing with these people on a sporadic level. When they surface, we play along, but I’ve realized that planting seeds is the way you grow a garden. When you keep the wrong flowers around, they will affect your long-term outcome.

Who are these people I’m referring too? Well, it could be anyone.

Maybe it’s an ex who should have been long gone, but still holds a pass to tip in and out of our conscious. A friendship that has lost its season, but due to that staunch attachment, shaking them off has been an epic battle. It could be someone who doubted your potential, whom you only keep around while you prove their theories wrong. Or possibly an adversary who you grit your teeth at in conversation, but rather than shrugging them off, you keep them at a close distance in order to remain aware of what they have going on.

No matter who it is, these relationships are unhealthy and cost more than their value. Harboring vultures is the surest way to go from being the observer to the one on the menu.

Aside from killing your progress, you’re choosing to carry around unnecessary baggage. I think the only thing we owe ourselves at the top of the year is the comfort of a fresh new start and the end of dead relationships. I’ve created a list of the “types” of people who I consider a hindrance in my life; those who I’ve let stick around too long and who belong on the chopping block.

Don’t feel bad about making any cuts, be relieved that you’re no longer a slave to a lost cause.

Here’s my list of “Deuces."

  • Deuces to all of my exes who think that calling me every once in a while guarantees them an open opportunity to try and return in the future.
  • Deuces to my fair-weather friends who only come around now because they think my career might go somewhere.
  • Deuces to my crowd of doubters. I can no longer spend energy trying to prove you wrong. It’s about proving myself right. You all are no longer a factor.
  • Deuces to my frienemies: those whom I know only speak highly of me in my presence, but when I turn around they’re taking shots at my head.
  • Deuces to those so-called friends who profess to believe in my future, but secretly work to take me off of my focus because they’re too scared to follow their own heart.
  • Deuces to my many haters. You don’t motivate me, I motivate myself.

Vixens, do you know of any “Vultures”? Feel free to add on to my list.

- ALaina L. Lewis

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Actress Gabrielle Union attends the Being Mary Jane premiere, screening, and party on January 9, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for BET)
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BET To Unveil Edible Billboard For 'Being Mary Jane' Wedding Finale

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— #BeingMaryJane (@beingmaryjane) March 29, 2019

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