My Sadie Hawkins Struggle My Sadie Hawkins Struggle

My Sadie Hawkins Struggle

I'm sick with a feeling that I haven't genuinely felt in quite a while. The symptoms? Butterflies in the depths of my poor, Frappuccino-filled stomach. A vulnerable and uncontrollable girlish grin, when I'd much rather a simple yet mysterious smirk. Being, at times, at a complete loss for witty banter (when on any other occasion, it would flow from my lips effortlessly). Nope, I'm simply not well. The diagnosis, you ask? I … I … I have a crush. *sneezes, coughs, and chokes on my previous statement.* Ugh! How did this happen to me?!

You'd think the cure would be so simple. A wise woman prescribed me the guts to just say something to him, but I never took those pills. Because somewhere buried behind more recent memories, I've been programmed to believe wholeheartedly that it is, in fact, a man's responsibility to take the first step. Initialize interaction. And so I, very stubbornly, remain ill. The main discrepancy with this pre-conceived notion I carry is that no one ever taught me it was to be this way. I can't recall ever having heard my mother or grandmother say explicitly, "You must wait for a man to approach you." Still, I hold fast to this idea and wait patiently, though possibly in vain.

We've exchanged eye contact in passing on more than one occasion. Perhaps I smiled and said, "Hello." Who knows? But as far as I can guess, he doesn't even know my name, or where I'm in a rush to every other morning when I walk by juggling my Starbucks and smartphone. I've never told him. He's never asked. And it's possible that he doesn't care at all. Or maybe he cares a lot, because his eyes always meet mine when I look back over my shoulder. And this guessing game could all be avoided by me simply speaking up and introducing myself. But I won't do it. Dare I admit I'm afraid? Naw, I won't say that. I'll just say I now have more respect for guys who approach girls fearlessly (though I feel it's a skill somehow coded in their DNA …). It's not an easy thing to do.

What's even more ironic is that I don't support most of the other widely accepted notions regarding gender roles in dating. I don't believe a man always has to pick up the tab, nor would I throw a fit if my door wasn't opened and chair pulled out for me every time. No biggie. I'm cool with dressing down (sneakers, puh-lease!), and I don't mind hitting a bar to watch the game. I don't even like sports! But these are things on which we can compromise. Taking the first step to get to know each other? I don't think I can compromise on that.

Is it still taboo for a woman to make the first move? In this day and age, almost anything goes. Considering the ratio of single black women to available, single, black [straight, *coughs again*] men, many would say: "You betta go for yours!" But desperation was never a language I comprehended, let alone spoke fluently. And something about a woman having to assert her presence to a man just always seemed a bit unnecessary to me. Is the odds being against us reason enough for women to let traditions in courting fly? I mean, it's bad enough that text messaging is now being treated as an acceptable substitute for the age-old telephone conversation. Where does one draw the line?

But then again, I look at the situation from that same wise woman's perspective. After all, what do I truly have to lose but a couple inviting words and perhaps a pinch of pride? Surely enough, that's my main deterrent. On the off-chance that my greeting goes over well, there is potentially so much to be gained -- a door now unlocked and open for conversation to flow freely from both ends. I guess I just wonder if my having broken the ice will forfeit said "crush" of accountability. I'll be damned if introducing myself first means I'll have to plan all outings and call first from here on out. I'm not sure how that all works. I don't think I'll be finding out anytime soon, either, because yet another day has passed without a single word murmured. *sighs* I'll take the plunge one of these days ….

Have you ever broken the ice or asked a guy out first? How did it go? If not, would you?

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Kelly Rowland Says Her Highly-Anticipated Project Is "Definitely Coming"

Six years ago, Kelly Rowland released her fourth studio album titled Talk a Good Game. The project boasted hit singles like "Kisses Down Low" and the transparent "Dirty Laundry." Now, the Houston native is preparing to release a project that'll surely satisfy fans' patient earbuds.

In an interview with Billboard, Rowland shared her hopes for putting out a new body of work and the pressure that she's encountered since she's been in the studio. "This is by far the longest, most pressure-filled process ever, only because I know what it's supposed to be and I have been so hard on myself. I know it," she said. "And it's the first time I've said it out loud. I've been extremely hard on myself. But it's definitely coming, and I'm more so excited about this project than anything else."

The news follows the recent release of Rowland's "Kelly" track, which was met with critical acclaim in November 2018. In addition to preparing the release of new music, the "Motivation" singer discussed fans' wish for a Destiny's Child reunion. The rumors have been fueled by social media photographs of Rowland with either Beyonce or Michelle or all three, especially during Beyonce's past Coachella performance. But Rowland assures readers that it's not what they think.

"It's so funny. I guess every time people see us together, they just see music but I see sisterhood, and that's what we are and that's what me, her, Michelle [Williams] and Solange and I are. People see us all together, they immediately think music. I'm like, no. Just family." As Rowland previously mentioned Solange, she hopes to one day work with her again.

"I'm a huge fan," she said. "I love her writing and how detailed and particular she is. I always wanted to figure out how the heck she has so many different layers of harmonies when she is constructing these vocals, and it's so complex but simple. It's genius. It's the genius in her genius mind that she has in there." One of the last times the pair collaborated was on Rowland's "Simply Deep" track off her debut solo album of the same name. Solange also penned a few songs off the same project. Fast forward to 2016, and Rowland's vocals were featured on Solange's iconic A Seat at the Table.

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Teyana Taylor To Pay Homage To Ballroom Culture In "WTP" Video

Teyana Taylor aims to keep her hot streak of innovative videos coming thanks to this recent announcement. Taking to Instagram on Wednesday (Jan. 9), the "Gonna Love Me" singer will show adoration to ballroom culture in the visual for "WTP."

Directed by Gregory "Beef" Jones, The Aunties Inc., and Taylor herself, the Harlemite takes viewers on her journey to the expression-filled space where she hopes to rack up 10s across the board from a group of judges. The premise of the video also seems to follow a mockumentary format airing on a fictional network named FEMTV. Alongside Taylor, other men and women get ready to display their talents and confidence on the ballroom floor.

"WTP" is featured on the mother-of-one's sophomore album, K.T.S.E., which was released in June 2018. While the rollout's controversy didn't entirely muddle the excitement behind the project's debut, Taylor said she was sold on the idea that her album would be treated as the biggest out of G.O.O.D. Music's string of releases last year.

"I didn't know ahead of time that there wouldn't be any singles or visuals. But I knew that it was going to be the five-album thing," she said during a HOT 97 interview. "[Kanye] wanted [my album] to be last, he wanted mine to be the biggest. That's the way they sauced it up. I was sold."

The video will debut on Jan. 19. Check out the teaser below.


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👀 1.19.19 👀 #WTP Directed by @teyanataylor & @ogbeefjones @theauntiesinc 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾 The wait is ALMOST over. 😏 @museumofsex

A post shared by Jimmy Neutch- Shumpert (@teyanataylor) on Jan 8, 2019 at 6:32pm PST

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Trina Braxton’s Ex-Husband, Gabe Solis, Dies After Battle With Cancer

Gabe Solis, the ex-husband of Trina Braxton, lost his battle with cancer, Thursday (Dec. 20),  TMZ reports. He was 43.

Solis passed away at his home in Texas, surrounded by friends and family, according to the outlet. No official details have been released about his passing.

Solis had reportedly been keeping his cancer battle private. His death came as a shock to his loved ones. On Friday (Dec. 21), Braxton seemingly mourned the loss of her ex-husband with a cryptic Instagram meme reading, “I need a hug..E bottle of wine.”

The former couple tied the knot in 2003, and appeared together on previous seasons of WEtv’s Braxton Family Values. Despite finalizing their divorce in 2015, Braxton and Solis confronted lingering issues from their marriage during an episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life, earlier in the year.

Braxton has since moved on to a new relationship, but remained friends with Solis.


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A post shared by Trina Braxton (@trinabraxton1) on Dec 21, 2018 at 9:49am PST

READ MORE: Phaedra Parks To Join 'Braxton Family Values' Cast

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