Why You May Not Be Girlfriend Material
I'm a 22-year-old heterosexual female living in the United States of America and I've never had a boyfriend.
Now, I know what you're thinking, and I promise, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm smart, have a great personality and I'm attractive. I can cook, I can clean, and I can be trusted to return children to their parents in the condition that they were given to me. The issue here isn't that I can't find a boyfriend; it's that I'm not looking. And I'm not looking because I don't believe in boyfriends.
Take a moment to collect yourself. Pick up your jaw, relax your eyebrows and listen.
I know that in the Western world, it's peculiar for young people not to have at least four or five serious relationships under their belt before marriage. I'm often gawked at when I reveal my singular lifestyle to others: "How are you ever gonna get MARRIED if you've never had a boyfriend?" I've had guys ask me if I'm a lesbian because of my disinterest in them. Yes, I want to be somebody's wife one day, and no, I do not hate men, but has anybody ever sat down and thought about this "serious relationship" thing?
Basically, you meet a guy that you like, you go on a couple dates with him, maybe you sleep with him, then he becomes your boyfriend. I'm not positive about the exact order of events, but you understand what I mean. You start cooking for him, cleaning up his apartment, spending the night at his place, and whatever other benefits come along with being in a committed relationship. Ideally, you both cut off all contact with previous partners and refuse the affections of all suitors. You are essentially his wife.
Except for the fact that you are not his wife.
Your boyfriend is getting all the benefits of marriage: exclusivity, sex (usually unprotected, eek!) constant companionship and a hot plate upon his return from work. If you meet another nice young man who wants to court you, you have to pass. He may, in fact, be the man you are supposed to be with. You'll never know. Eventually, this relationship will end, for whatever reason. And you're supposed to do this over and over throughout your teens and twenties until one of these boyfriends proposes.
Here is where I feel like we got the game twisted: By the time marriage rolls around, I'll have more baggage than RHOA's Marlo Hampton did in South Africa. No, I don't believe in boyfriends. I believe in dating. Meeting a nice guy and going out on a few dates or having great conversation and getting to know each other as friends. Me going back to my place at the end of the night, him going back to his. Meeting another nice guy and going out on a few more dates. I believe in men courting women, and when you're a good woman, I believe that a good man will recognize that you are not girlfriend material-- you're wife material.