TRAILER PARK: ‘THE LONE RANGER,’ ‘BROKEN CITY,’ ‘A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD’ & MORE
In this week’s trailer round-up, we have Mark Wahlberg getting mad at Russell Crowe, Bruce Willis getting mad at a bunch of Russians, Seth Rogen bonding with Barbra Streisand and the Lone Ranger bonding with his trusted sidekick Tonto. Roll’ em! THE LONE RANGER Release Date: July 3, 2013Is “The Lone Ranger” the next “Pirates of the Caribbean”? With Johnny Depp in line as Tonto, a perfect-looking leading actor in place as the main character and “Pirates” director Gore Verbinski at the helm, Disney is setting up this big-screen adaptation of the 50s TV series as its next summer franchise to make boatloads of money. From this first look, however, “The Lone Ranger” is not the sweeping, joke-filled fantasy romp that Verbinski’s early-00s franchise was — which is fine, since a campy vibe would have made this look like “Wild Wild West Redux.” Instead of giant mechanical spiders, we have 90 seconds of powerful trains, violent board-room meetings and Depp dropping the word “kemosabe.” Fans of the original will line up, but can “The Lone Ranger” snag better buzz than “Dark Shadows,” this year’s Depp vehicle that also revived a long-forgotten TV show? We’ll see in about nine months. BROKEN CITY Release Date: Jan. 18, 2013 There’s nothing inherently wrong with watching Russell Crowe play a corrupt New York City mayor who hires a former cop, played by Mark Wahlberg, to track down the guy sleeping with his wife. It might make for some entertaining drama, especially during the multiplex drecks of January! But the trailer for “Broken City” sure makes us remember all of the other, better roles Crowe and Wahlberg have taken in their decorated careers — roles with immediate weight, and which don’t require hackneyed New York accents. As Kanye West’s “Power” blasts in the background, clips of Wahlberg getting into a car crash are crossed with Crowe smirking and counting the days until he can cash his check for this piece of popcorn fare. “Broken City” comes from director Allen Hughes, one-half of the “Menace II Society” geniuses The Hughes Brothers, and comes three years after the Hughes gave us a January stinker, “The Book of Eli.” Let’s hope “Broken City” isn’t quite as broken as the Messiah Denzel movie. PARKER Release Date: Jan. 24, 2013 Jason Statham is back in another shoot-em-up/kick-em-around, and this time, he needs Jennifer Lopez… to strip… for some reason (something about a wire?). Whatever: “Parker” looks perfectly passable as a vehicle for Statham, last seen playing second banana in “The Expendables II,” and even includes a fine pedigree, with director Taylor Hackford (“Ray”) and “The Shield” star Michel Chiklis as the moron who decided to double-cross Statham and not double-check to make sure his henchman actually offed him. D’oh! There are some amusing moments here, like the unveiling of the star’s intentionally horrendous San Antonio accent, and as for Lopez… is it too late to rediscover some of the screwball charm she flaunted way back in “Out Of Sight”? No matter how good or bad “Parker” is, she can at least be thankful that she missed out on the “American Idol” catfights with Nicki Minaj. THE GUILT TRIP Release Date: Dec. 25 Have you ever thought to yourself, “I really wish they’d make a sequel to ‘Little Fockers’ that exclusively stars Barbra Streisand and Ben Stiller”? Of course you haven’t. But that’s essentially what you’re getting — albeit with another Jewish comic star, Seth Rogen, instead of Stiller — in “The Guilt Trip,” which finds Streisand once again in wacky-mom mode as she and her son navigate across the U.S. in eight days. The set-up in this trailer is formulaic but amiable; the problem, however, is the fact that none of the comedic set pieces look all that interesting. Streisand eating a surprising amount of steak? Rogen being bored at the Grand Canyon? We’re not asking “The Guilt Trip” to be the edgiest comedy of the holiday season, but give us some sort of sequence that will make us want to pay to see this pair in action! Streisand’s first top billing since “The Mirror Has Two Faces” in 1996 doesn’t look like the zaniest experience, but maybe the lead actors’ charisma will power it through. If nothing else, it might make you want to call your mom more often. MUST-SEE TRAILER OF THE WEEK A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD Release Date: February 14, 2013 Guns. Helicopters. Exploding balconies. Stingers. Motorcyclists stripping off leather. More guns. Beethoven. Collapsing grand pianos. Slow-motion run-shooting. People getting punched in the face. And then, triumphantly, “The 007 of Plainfield, New Jersey.” A “Die Hard” fan simply could not ask for more from this teaser for the fifth installment. The action franchise got the reboot right with “Live Free or Die Hard,” and now, Willis has returned with a wrinklier head, a son to help him take down the entirety of Russia, and an even more hilariously macho movie title. Valentine’s Day just got a whole lot bloodier.