Cowboys Fans Petition Obama To Remove Owner Jerry Jones

It’s come to this: Cowboys fans have petitioned President Obama to oust Cowboys owner and de facto GM Jerry Jones. With the team mired in a decade of mediocrity, a state that is decidedly red reached out to the President to see if he would help.

ESPN reports that a fan named Steven M. posted a petition to the White House’s official website, begging President Obama to forcibly remove Jerry Jones, who has endured criticism since opening a billion-dollar stadium in Dallas and then stocking it was a decidedly mediocre team. The petition read in part:

“We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. Request the Executive Branch’s immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM, Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.”

Unfortunate for Cowboys fans, the White House took the petition down shortly thereafter, but not before it registered more than 4,000 signatures.