Toxicity levels don’t only exist in hazardous medical containers; they might be sleeping right next to you. Rather than being able to confide in your romantic partner for loving support and motivation, you instead are emotionally and socially stunted by their venomous attitude and behavior. Similar to the scientific definition, toxic relationships are damaging with serious risk of causing ominous long term effects.
Unhealthy relationships take a toll on you emotionally, socially and even physically. However recognizing that you are a victim of one may never seem obvious, although the signs are clear as day for the people around you. Here are some ways to tell if your guy (or girl) is poison.-Rachel Francois
1. You get major side-eye from friends and family about your boo’s character.
Usually your homies are never short for words, but when it comes time for them to extend a kind word about your partner, only crickets. The elementary school maxim “If you nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” may apply here.
You’re never apart and have no desire to be separated from each other; there is little or no opportunity for “me time.”
Though you make not feel like you need it, personal time is necessary because it allows you to build your character, interest, ideas unhinged from your partner. You are still your own independent person so you don’t have to become one literally.
3. There’s more taking than giving.
You often feel drained emotionally, mentally or financially because your needy significant other is sucking up all your good energy and support. Conversations tend to center around him or her, and you are often too easily willing to compromise your feelings in order to spare theirs. When it comes to talking about your concerns or accomplishments, you can’t find a listening ear or get a deserving big-up.
4. You can’t step out without a full blown First 48-like interrogation.
Your boo thang always has a thousand and one questions about where you've been, who you’ve been with and what you were doing and for how long when you’re not in their visual purview. This kind of mistrust leads to your self-surveillance, doubt and lowers your self-esteem.
5. Your self-worth is dependent on their love.
You only understand your worth in relation to your mate’s expressions of love, and without it, you feel lost, confused and unstable. If you think you might be in a toxic relationship, finding comfort and guidance from a professional and close-knit set of family and friends is a good place to start. Some find spiritual solace by embarking on cathartic explorations that will free their mind and reset their outlook on love and life.
Is it ever okay to go back?
It depends. Just like the victim, the protagonist has to make efforts to work on him or herself before trying to work on “us.” He or she has to acknowledge their culpability and accountability in creating toxic energies and is motivated to do it personally first.
