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11 Tips for Improving Your Self-Image

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Having a low self-esteem has an adverse effect on our lives. Saying "I'm too fat," "I'm too skinny," "I could never do that," and "why can't I look like her?" are bad habits that get us down on ourselves everyday. This way of thinking strips us of the confidence to make even the most minuscule decisions. There are two choices: sit and blunder in sorrow or get up and do something.

I suggest doing the latter. Life is to be lived, and if you aren't living, ask yourself why not? Turn your bad days into good days with just a few steps...

Woman Planning

1. Make a top 10!

Writing down your thoughts brings understanding. Think of at least 10 things you love about yourself, and jot them down.  Tape it to your mirror, wall or refrigerator; make sure it's visible so you can be reminded of how awesome you are.

2. Give compliments

Misery loves company. So compliment others, don't criticize. We tend to point out the flaws in others when feeling down, so try doing the opposite. You could end up helping someone and best of all, everyone won't think you're a b*tch anymore.

3. Practice positivity

Be conscious of self-talk. It's important to monitor, challenge and adjust negative thoughts. Every time you hear negative words like "can't," "never" or "no," practice letting go. After all, your relationship with yourself is ultimately a reflection of your entire life.

Woman looking out window

4. Focus on your uniqueness

Eliminate the word "perfect" from your vocabulary because there is no such thing. It may sound cliche, but your flaws are what make you beautiful. Go outside and look at beautiful things like flowers or trees—even they have cracks and tears.

Woman makeup on skin

 

5. Skip magazines

We know most women are airbrushed and photoshopped on magazine covers, but that doesn't stop self-doubt from creeping in. If this is a problem for you, avoid those triggers and stay far away.

 

6. Identify troubling situations

Perhaps it's the environment around you that elicits self hatred. Do you have daddy issues? Not getting along with your boyfriend? Having trouble at work? Make a decision about where you are and where you really should be.

Vibe Vixen Frustrated Woman

7. Don't throw a pity party

No one likes a Debbie Downer. Surrounding yourself with negative people only cascades more negativity. Build a support system of strong family, friends and advisers.

8. Pamper yourself

When you do a good job, reward yourself! Whether it's a small victory or monumental milestone, be proud of it. If you kicked ass at work, take yourself out to dinner or pour a glass of expensive wine.

9. Focus on "Can"

The word "can't" is a word you can do without. I guarantee the list of things you can do outweighs the opposite. Part of accepting who you are is realizing what you're actually capable of.

woman blames man

10. Take responsibility

Take responsibility for your feelings. If you don't love yourself, know that it's up to you to fix. Don't depend on others for your happiness because they won't be around forever.

11. Give back

Lose Yourself in a cause. Helping others is like killing two birds with one stone: actively participating in a charitable cause leaves less time to wallow in self-pity. Soon your thoughts will be consumed with more important things.

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CupcakKe Reveals Abusive Boyfriend Led Her To Contemplate Suicide

Months of abuse led to the suicidal tweet posted by Chicago native CupcakKe, earlier this month. In a lengthy message posted to her Twitter account over the weekend, the 21-year-old rapper admitted that she’s been battling depression, brought on by an abusive ex-boyfriend.

In the post titled “my disturbing read,” CupcakKe accuses a man named, Christopher Terrell, of stealing her credit cards and terrorizing her throughout their relationship.

“This is someone I’ve been dating for the past [five] months,” she wrote in the now deleted post. “Out of the kindness of my heart I gave this man over [$30,000] during this period [of] time because I understand how it feels to be without (especially after me being homeless). He also has threatened to shoot my mom in the face [and] has threatened me on multiple occasions [and] said he can do it because he will get away with it!!!! I have screenshots, recorded calls, bank statements and all types of proof.

“Me being stupid in love I have [taken] this man back multiple times but every time I take him back the abuse gets [worse],” she added.

Further in the post, CupcakKe explains that her depression from feeling trapped in the relationship resulted in her contemplating suicide. “He [has] snatched off my wig in public, broke phones [and] continues to traumatize me every step of the way! This is what [led] to my ‘I’m committing suicide’ tweet…I have called the cops multiple times and they have yet to do anything about it,” she wrote, adding that Terrell is threatening her with revenge porn. She also admitted to posting his number on social media, and the numbers of women that he “plotted” with  to steal her money.

“Yes I am wrong for that,” she said. “But by me sending this message out it is not for harm to be sent his way, it’s for the police to make things way more serious!!!! Also this message is for every young girl or anyone in general that is struggling with abuse right now. I get u (once you see the first sign) leave!!!”

Read the full post below.

@Chicago_Police y’all really need to do something about @CupcakKe_rapper and her situation, she’s mentioned reaching out to y’all multiple times about this and nothings happened! Please do something before it’s too late... pic.twitter.com/ZczGq1jmcK

— moonlight_baes (@m00nlight__baes) January 20, 2019

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Kelly Rowland Says Her Highly-Anticipated Project Is "Definitely Coming"

Six years ago, Kelly Rowland released her fourth studio album titled Talk a Good Game. The project boasted hit singles like "Kisses Down Low" and the transparent "Dirty Laundry." Now, the Houston native is preparing to release a project that'll surely satisfy fans' patient earbuds.

In an interview with Billboard, Rowland shared her hopes for putting out a new body of work and the pressure that she's encountered since she's been in the studio. "This is by far the longest, most pressure-filled process ever, only because I know what it's supposed to be and I have been so hard on myself. I know it," she said. "And it's the first time I've said it out loud. I've been extremely hard on myself. But it's definitely coming, and I'm more so excited about this project than anything else."

The news follows the recent release of Rowland's "Kelly" track, which was met with critical acclaim in November 2018. In addition to preparing the release of new music, the "Motivation" singer discussed fans' wish for a Destiny's Child reunion. The rumors have been fueled by social media photographs of Rowland with either Beyonce or Michelle or all three, especially during Beyonce's past Coachella performance. But Rowland assures readers that it's not what they think.

"It's so funny. I guess every time people see us together, they just see music but I see sisterhood, and that's what we are and that's what me, her, Michelle [Williams] and Solange and I are. People see us all together, they immediately think music. I'm like, no. Just family." As Rowland previously mentioned Solange, she hopes to one day work with her again.

"I'm a huge fan," she said. "I love her writing and how detailed and particular she is. I always wanted to figure out how the heck she has so many different layers of harmonies when she is constructing these vocals, and it's so complex but simple. It's genius. It's the genius in her genius mind that she has in there." One of the last times the pair collaborated was on Rowland's "Simply Deep" track off her debut solo album of the same name. Solange also penned a few songs off the same project. Fast forward to 2016, and Rowland's vocals were featured on Solange's iconic A Seat at the Table.

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Teyana Taylor To Pay Homage To Ballroom Culture In "WTP" Video

Teyana Taylor aims to keep her hot streak of innovative videos coming thanks to this recent announcement. Taking to Instagram on Wednesday (Jan. 9), the "Gonna Love Me" singer will show adoration to ballroom culture in the visual for "WTP."

Directed by Gregory "Beef" Jones, The Aunties Inc., and Taylor herself, the Harlemite takes viewers on her journey to the expression-filled space where she hopes to rack up 10s across the board from a group of judges. The premise of the video also seems to follow a mockumentary format airing on a fictional network named FEMTV. Alongside Taylor, other men and women get ready to display their talents and confidence on the ballroom floor.

"WTP" is featured on the mother-of-one's sophomore album, K.T.S.E., which was released in June 2018. While the rollout's controversy didn't entirely muddle the excitement behind the project's debut, Taylor said she was sold on the idea that her album would be treated as the biggest out of G.O.O.D. Music's string of releases last year.

"I didn't know ahead of time that there wouldn't be any singles or visuals. But I knew that it was going to be the five-album thing," she said during a HOT 97 interview. "[Kanye] wanted [my album] to be last, he wanted mine to be the biggest. That's the way they sauced it up. I was sold."

The video will debut on Jan. 19. Check out the teaser below.

 

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👀 1.19.19 👀 #WTP Directed by @teyanataylor & @ogbeefjones @theauntiesinc 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾 The wait is ALMOST over. 😏 @museumofsex

A post shared by Jimmy Neutch- Shumpert (@teyanataylor) on Jan 8, 2019 at 6:32pm PST

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