Not Your Mother’s Blog: Haters Gon’… Hate?


Beyonce's "Grown Woman" leaksI can’t tell you how much it annoys the hell out of me to see this on social media: “Haters gonna hate, let them hate,” “I’ma do what you can’t while you watch and hate,” “Haters can’t stop my grind.” And the list goes on. I mean, damn, are people really hating on you, fool? You can’t possibly have that much going on in your life that you think people really care enough to hate.

I admit, there are times that some people do make comments out of sheer jealousy, but there are also times that whatever you’re doing, selling, wearing or saying falls short of a certain bar and your friends or family (or people who think they know you) will give you constructive criticism. That is not hate, and it’s about damn time people wake up and smell the truth!

When I hear women bash reality stars like Kim Kardashian, for instance, and say things like “She has no talent” or “She’s famous off of a sextape,” some could call that constructive criticism. But how you say things and your intentions behind it really shows if you’re coming from a place of truth or jealousy. Prior to her sextape, Kimmie came from money so she’s always been in certain circles, and lest we forget her mother has done a swell job at turning lemons into lemonade for the whole family. So when I hear people say the aforementioned remarks, I perceive them as constructive criticism. Now in that same vain, when I hear people say she looks fake, ugly or that she wants to be black, I’m inclined to think they’re hating. Who cares if her hair is weaved up? In this industry, who doesn’t have at least hair clips or extensions? Ain’t nobody got time for all these different hairstylist putting so much heat on your hair that it falls out.

Same goes for Beyoncé. It vexes me to still hear people speak out of jealousy of her. First off, even if the woman released a video of Blue Ivy crawling out of her vagina, I know some idiot out there will say that’s not her lady parts. Secondly, she’s earned a certain level of bragging rights being that she’s one of the very few artists who can still sell out arenas in minutes. In a day and age where everyone has the hook up and can get stuff free, you know if you spend your coin on a Beyoncé show, it’s money well spent. Now to say you’re not a fan of her music is one thing but don’t tear the woman down as if she’s not your favorite singer’s favorite singer or one of the hardest working people in showbiz. And lastly, how many of you women have a man who pursued you, helped make you better, helped you build your empire, married you and not just gave you a baby and walked away? Does he sing to you and dance with you in public? Hell, does he at least acknowledge you in public? If you have a man who does all these things for you, then I’m happy for you. And I’m sure you would want people to be happy for you rather than hate on what they don’t know took years to build.

As long as you’re good with your choices and decisions, carry on. You don’t have to agree or like how someone gets their coin but offer constructive criticism rather than tearing someone down. If people can’t congratulate, why hate? Simply don’t participate. Thoughts? — Alesha Renee (@alesharenee)