What Would You Change About Your First Time?


My first time was no grand deflowering ceremony, though the intention was there.

I can’t remember the exact date or time, but I’ll never forget all the hoopla that went in to me getting it in. It was a cold winter night (cue the dramatic music) and my then boyfriend prepared for my special night: tickets to the Nutcracker ballet, a fancy dinner on a revolving rooftop floor and a lavish hotel room in the city.

While we both nearly drooled from falling asleep with our mouths open at the theater (hip-hop and R&B shows were more our thing), the in-tummy butterflies were still a-flutter from the anticipation of what was supposed to be a sleepless night.

Prior to this late night rendezvous, I was very green to getting freaky. IMX, 112 and Ginuwine laced my after-hours playlist, but I was 19 going on 20 and never clocked in for sexy time. My sexual résumé was only filled with innocent five-minute make-out sessions, so for my first ride, I was content with being in the passenger’s seat.

My only request: It had to mean something.

As a former wait-till-marriage enthusiast, I made the decision to revoke my V card for this fellow because I really was in love with him. He was on the older side, had a respectable job and showered me with affection whether I was a bitch or his baby.

Rewind to my special night. The look of wonder on my face when my eyes saw red rose petals sprinkled all over the white king-sized mattress, candles strewn all along the walls, chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne in a bucket of ice. This was everything Disney didn’t tell me it would be and more!

Once the bubbly started circulating and the kisses became more slippery, I noticed that me and my man were so engulfed in the pre-sex that I was watching the hands on the wall clock move almost in slow motion. Not to say the act itself was agonizing, but it was such a new experience that we just kept going and going like the Duracell bunny.

Unfortunately, my A-game was so wiped out by the foreplay that me and my ex-man never got around to the actual deed. We tapped out and tried it once more the next morning only to, put it simply, nail it.

But even if plans didn’t go according to schedule, I wouldn’t change a thing.