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10 Reasons Why (You May Not Want to Accept) You're Still Single

Black Folks | Frustrated Woman

A lot of females praise the single life are secretly yearning to be in a relationship. They believe they possess all the attributes it takes to attract and keep a man, yet they haven't been with a man in years. There's nothing wrong with feeling confident, but maybe there is something wrong with you.

Read below 10 factors that may be keeping you in singledom.




Aggressiveness and assertiveness

There's a big difference between being aggressive and assertive. Men like women who go after what they want not attack what they want. Don't be that girl.

Woman and Man dating

Save Some For Later

Why does he know about your upbringing, your family, all the pets you ever owned, and childhood friends on the first date? Slow down and breathe, let him slowly learn about you. The mystery of a woman intrigues the interest in a man.

Couple Laughing

When He Speaks Believe Him

Women have great intuition; however, some women become infatuated with guys they aren't compatible with, in hopes that he will become the guy of their dreams. He wont, not for you anyway.  Too many times a man tells you he’s not looking for a relationship or, even worse, has ties with someone else. Next time, keep him as an acquaintance while patiently waiting for someone better to come along.

Too available

Why are you accessible all the time? If every time a potential suitor contacted you and you're always available, he'll lose interest. It’s okay if he wonders what you are doing, you aren’t married. Let him know your busy or at least let him think you are.

smiling-black woman

Too career driven

This may be the one no one will agree with (especially men) but a man’s ego can’t take his lady being very busy and focused on her career. This is not a downplay on your hustle, but at some point you'll want to think about settling down. Men do it all the time; they don’t focus on a relationship because they are too focused on becoming established first.

To borrow a few lines from Jay-Z's "Lost Ones": 

I don't think it's meant to be, B
But she loves her work more than she does me
And honestly, at twenty-three
I would probably love my work more than I did she

Sad woman

Too insecure

We get it. Nobodies perfect, but if all a guy hears about is how "unperfect" you are, he’s going to start to believe it too. Nothing is more of a turn off than a girl who is always pointing out her flaws and constantly complaining. The sexiest thing a lady wears is confidence. If you truly hate something about yourself change it, and if your unwilling to change it, shut up.

Woman and money

Too Independent

Webbie said it good, I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, Jay-z said it better “Get ya independent ass out of here, question?”  This is not to promote dependency, but you have to make a man feel as if he’s needed or he won’t want to be there. Whether it’s financially, emotionally, or physically, ease up your reigns and give the man some lead way. To put it simple: You should be able to do for yourself, but not have to do for yourself.

man angry at woman

Maybe you’re the problem

If you’re constantly getting cheated on, dumped, stood up, or ignored…you’re the common denominator. Are you too clingy, too easy, or too open? Maybe you should look at your past relationships with friends and see where you are going wrong.

Vibe Vixen Woman Shopping

You’re a gold digger

You want a man who has money, yet you don’t have any yourself. It’s not about a come up, its about bringing what you have to the table. No man wants a girl he has to finance 100% of the time. Why do you expect a man to afford a certain lifestyle you can't afford yourself?

You’re too easy

Now a days people have sex within the first few months (some even weeks) but if you are always giving it up in the first few days, the relationship won't last. If a guy can get you to easily open your legs, he will think its that easy for every other guy. Give him something to work for; if he’s unwilling to work then you don’t need him.

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'Boomerang' Episode 3 Recap: Stand In Your Power

As the aptly-named episode of BET’s Boomerang kicks off, Bryson is in a deep sleep when his sexual fantasy of Simone riding him like an Amtrak is abruptly cut short after she pulls out a strap-on (um, y’all are grown). Let’s just say, she’s not a football player but she rams. Despite his obvious initial thought, this isn’t a conflict of sexual identity. It’s that feeling of loss of power whenever he’s around the two most important women in his life: Simone and his mother Jacqueline who (FUN FACT) was played by the Queen, Robin Givens in the series’ 1992 film inspiration. First of her name. Mother of no BS. Protector of her pockets. Goddess of You Got the Wrong One. We stan.

While diving deeper into his familial issues, we realize that Jacqueline wasn’t just a ball-buster to Marcus back in the day. A therapy breakthrough reveals that mommy dearest isn’t too affectionate to young Bryson either.  Although she did pull her strings to land Bryson a solid role at the Graham agency, she didn’t make family a priority and that kind of thing sticks with you, ya know? Don’t feel too bad for Bryson just yet because at this point, he will no longer be a “yes, man,” no matter how bomb Simone always looks in her bob.

Just as Bryson decides to boss up, he unexpectedly runs into Simone back at the office who is helping herself to some supplies for her "home office." In a sudden “I can make moves, too” moment, Bryson shares with Simone that her idea (that he’s been persistently pitching)  has finally been greenlit and naturally, sis is annoyed. Marketing an avant-garde black film, such as the project in the episode, “Woke,” has always been a passion of hers.

Within two seconds into listening to his “plan of strategy” to market the movie, it’s obvious that Bryson can’t possibly be Big Bad Bry for too long without asking for Simone’s help. And Simone knows that. At this point, he’s still strong enough to not ask Simone for it but the Hustle Hungry protege takes it upon herself to force it anyway. It’s simple to her. Bryson needs black talent to promote the film and Simone has just the client- Tia. Granted, homegirl can’t sing a note to save her life, but Simone has some tricks and this is way too big of an opportunity to pass up.

Once again at the board meeting, a clearly annoyed Victoria is still over Bryson for previously messing up by being a sucker for love, but she hasn’t lost faith just yet. He still has a shot to prove himself. At an afternoon meeting at their swanky loft, the twin directors of “Woke” try to explain the direction they want for their movie. Although poor Bryson is lost (mainly because their responses barely answer his questions) he hasn’t reached a place of uncertainty to where he feels as if he has to agree with all of Simone’s suggestions. He’s holding it down as Boss Man Bry and he proves that when he reaches the studio. Simone has Tia record two different versions of the track, confident that Bryson would like hers better.

After listening to both, unbeknownst of who is responsible for which, Bryson chooses Tia’s track. He almost even backtracks when he finds out that wasn’t Simone’s vision, but he decides to man up instead and stand his ground, instead.  Yes, he said what he said. Operation Stand in Your Power is in full effect. Simone’s grip on Bryson’s heart slowly slipping. Maybe now she’ll retire from the Rams. *wink, wink*

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Red Bull Music's 'Inspire The Night' Series Introduces Chinese Female DJ Collective

Not only is female empowerment being highlighted across industries in the United States. Through their docu-series Inspire The Night, Red Bull Music is highlighting the NÜSHÙ Workshop, a female music collective hailing from Shanghai. The collective was founded by Lhaga Koondhor, Daliah Spiegel, and Amber Axilla.

In episode three of the series, Shanghai-based NÜSHÙ artist Lin Jirui is highlighted. Jirui, a DJ who mixes techno, gabber and grime in her sets, discusses the importance of music in her life, especially growing up in a strict household where she was often told by her mother "don't be too different."

NÜSHÙ was named for the centuries-old Chinese script used exclusively by women for communicative purposes, and focuses on inclusion through connection, education and championing "femme, femme-identifying, queer, LGBTQ+, and non-binary individuals." The collective provides its members with the tools needed to succeed in their careers and in life.

“[NÜSHÙ Workshop] is not about becoming the next great DJ, it’s a safe place to discover something. There is so much love and passion…,” says co-founder Koondhor in the episode. “It’s a space where friendship is growing.”

Check out the full episode above.

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Shot by our dear friend @mathildeagius in Shanghai during our @redbullmusic Inspire the Night shoot. Watch the full episode through the link in our bio!

A post shared by NÜSHÙ女术 WORKSHOP (@nvshushanghai) on Feb 18, 2019 at 6:21pm PST

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va DuVernay speaks onstage during the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' 10th annual Governors Awards at The Ray Dolby Ballroom at Hollywood & Highland Center on November 18, 2018 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

Ava DuVernay And Theaster Gates To Lead Diversity Council For Prada

Major luxury brands like Prada and Gucci have been under fire since releasing luxury items with racial undertones. Sparking controversy that is not easily repaired with public apologies, Prada has announced a Diversity and Inclusion Council lead by director Ava DuVernay and social practice installation artist Theaster Gates.

Gates and DuVernay, who have used their art in social justice missions will join " Prada’s initiative to elevate voices of color within the company and the fashion industry at-large.” The pair will also help the brand provide the opportunity for designers of color to obtain internships and apprenticeships that are inclusive of diverse communities.

In a statement to WWD, Miuccia Prada, Prada’s Chief Executive Officer, and Lead Creative Director stated explained the brand's willingness to learn from their own mistakes while actively including creative of color in the company.

“Prada is committed to cultivating, recruiting and retaining diverse talent to contribute to all departments of the company, Prada said. "In addition to amplifying voices of color within the industry, we will help ensure that the fashion world is reflective of the world in which we live, and we are thrilled to be working with long-time collaborators, Ava DuVernay and Theaster Gates, on this important initiative. We look forward to working with the Diversity and Inclusion Advisory Council to help us grow not only as a company but also as individuals.”

The Diversity Council will work alongside the company's Social Responsibility department to recommend strategic approaches within the next few months.


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