Do You Have Healthy Friendships? 8 Questions You Should Ask Yourself
Who do we cherish more than our girlfriends?
When times get hard and breakup wounds are fresh, there’s nothing like having your support team of great girlfriends behind you. Although it’s natural to have overarching expectations of the people nearest and dearest to us, how confident are you in your friendships?
Here are 8 questions you should be asking yourself to determine whether your friendships are worth keeping or letting go.
The best part about a strong friendship is the confidence in knowing that your girls have your back. In our twenties, we’re constantly taking un-calculated risks and it’s important to know that we have our support team behind us. Do your friends support your dreams and goals? Do they show up when you need them to? Friends aren’t necessarily the people you speak or see every day, but when the time comes, you should be able to count on them for support.
Like any relationship, sometimes one person may bring more to the table than the other. If you stopped texting or calling your friends would you even hear from them? Friendships should be based on a balanced scale of give and take. If you feel that you’re the only one actively contributing and keeping your friendships afloat then maybe it’s time to step back and reassess. You shouldn’t be the only one reaching out or planning things for a friend who can’t take the time and effort to do the same.
It doesn’t matter if you moved to Alaska post-college and your family is living thousands of miles away; a REAL friend knows or takes interest in the people most important in your life. Many of us cultivate great friendships post-college, but at some point, your friend should be well informed on your foundation. They may not necessarily need to know your mother’s birthday, but they should have your basic family structure down pack.
As if our own experiences with insecurity, self doubt and worries aren’t enough to scare us; who needs a bunch of “Negative Nancy’s” running around in our personal space, feeding us futile energy? As we grow older, we should be a bit more particular about the company we keep. Some friends have been in our lives for decades and a lifetime, so it’s understandable that letting go is easier said than done. In order to live a successful, positive and fulfilled life, make it a priority to release bad energy that may be draining your happiness.
There should never be a time you feel uncomfortable being yourself amongst your friends. Figure out whether they make you feel good about yourself or if they’re the type to constantly call out your flaws.
One thing we don’t have time for in a friendships, are petty arguments that transform into long-term grudges. As women, it’s second nature for us to choose the most trivial things to attack each other over. It’s normal to go through the emotions, but at some point the drama has to distinguish. You may not want to deal with friends who can’t seem to move on from the temporary fall outs.
In many cases it’s easy to find a friend through the good times, but do you trust that they will be there to weather the storms? Can you call on your friends if you’re going through a quarter life episode or an intense breakup? You should be confident that your girls will be the shoulder to cry on and provide a couch to crash if need be.
There is a thin line between having girlfriends who are honest, and those who are the closeted “haters.” It’s important to really know your friends, their motives and what they’re capable of. Figure out if your friends truly have your best interest at heart, and steer clear from the ones who use “keeping it real,” to methodically hurt you. A good friend knows your sensitivity level and the appropriate time and situations to voice their honest opinions.