Comedy Week: Tony Rock Rates Chris Rock’s Funniest Jokes


Rock & ROFL

Chris Rock is undoubtedly one of our Kings of Comedy. The Brooklynite is so good (How good is he?) that his own little brother can’t even hate on his brilliance. Being a damn funny comedian in his own right, we asked Chris’ younger sibling Tony Rock to give us his five favorite jokes from big bruh’s catalogue. While some of the quips have been condensed for size, the genius remains mammoth.

5. Power of the Pot

Chris Rock: “Older women cook. Older women will cook you up some shit. They know the power of the pot. They will make you something. Young girl can’t make nothing but reservations.” Tony Rock: Women do so much aesthetically to attract men that they sometimes overlook the simple things like cooking. The joke ends with the proclamation ‘Any women can suck a d*ck, but gravy’s a whole ‘nother story’.’ So true.

4. The N-Word Pass

Chris: Sometimes I’m out with my White friends and a Dr. Dre song will come on. There’s a lot of “Niggas” in a Dr. Dre song, and they want to enjoy it. But they can’t really enjoy it around me. And it’s just sad to see a White person try to do a nigga-less rendition of a Dr. Dre song. So the question remains the same: Can White people say Nigga? And the answer’s the same: Not really. But there are some exceptions like “Fuck me harder, nigga.” Tony: First of all, we know that White people can never say it. This joke was an extreme scenario of when it could be acceptable. It’s funny because under those circumstances they might actually get a pass [Laughs].

3. Men must talk more. Women must talk less

Chris: “Women love to talk. If they had talking in the Olympics a man wouldn’t stand a chance. But women don’t want you to talk talk. They just want you to listen listen. All a woman really wants you to do is ask the correct questions that will allow her to run her fuckin’ mouth.” Tony: People say communication is key, but these are the parameters for good communication. This joke is so classic.

2. Fat Black Women

Chris: Fat girls can say whatever they want about skinny girls. talk about skinny women all day long (“Fuckin skinny bitch. Skinny ass, anorexic, bulimic, regurgitating bitch. Cheerio belt-wearing bitch. Salad-eating motherfucker. Hope she chokes on a crouton.” But skinny girls can’t talk about fat girls. That’s just mean (“Look at these big bitches. Do they free base gravy? Food is not your friend”). Tony: This joke gets funnier every time I hear it. In an age of photo shopped pics and people living lies through social media, one thing never changes: Fat black women have no desire to fit into society’s definitions of beauty.

1. Black People vs Niggas

Chris: Who’s more racist: black people or white people? Black people. Know why? Cause we hate black people too. Everything white people don’t like about black people, black people really don’t like about black people. It’s like a civil war going on with black people and there’s two sides: there’s black people and there’s niggas. And the niggas got to go. Every time Black people want to have a good time ignorant ass niggas fuck it up. Tony: Of course I’m biased but this is one of the best jokes ever written in my opinion. It’s what us black people have known for years. You have to hear it to truly appreciate it. The Civil War continues…