gym time gym time
man laughing after workout

'Inside His Mind' Part 1: The Best Places To Find Men

church guy

This week, lifestyle blogger Derrick Jaxn lends his expertise to VIBE Vixen readers as he reveals the surprising truths about the opposite sex and their thought processes. Today, we're getting a crash course on the kinds of men to avoid (or not avoid) and where they can be found.

"I've seen attempts at lists like this one and noticed that they usually leave out the vastly growing majority of women who happen to choose Mr. Wrong, yet find happiness in spite of. So, I've decided to be more inclusive and help you know what kind of men to meet and where they've been hiding."

- Derrick Jaxn

__

The Saint-> Church

"I don't say the word 'saint' in its generally accepted context of die-hard for Jesus, soldier on the battle field way. But you know the self-proclaimed chosen one who has a word straight from God every time he wants you to believe something? That guy. Now this isn't the church's fault, but unfortunately that's where these saints flock for the surplus of faith that gets stirred up after a great sermon. They realize they can leverage that for their own agenda should a lonely woman be especially open to God's blessing one Sunday afternoon. The nice pencil skirt and semi-closed blouse doesn't hurt either."

online dating

The Pervert-> Online Dating Sites, Twitter DMs, Instagram, Facebook

"I know what you're thinking. 'The E-Harmony commercial said that most marriages start online now.' Well, did E-Harmony also mention where the most porn is watched? Damn sure isn't in magazines and newspapers. If a man is 40 years old or younger and hitting you up because of your online profile, it's not because love is in his heart, it's because lotion is in his hand; and he's tired of it. Nothing like being able to mass-produce your pick up lines with a copy and pasting spree to increase your chances of somebody being naive enough to reply. The only men legitimately looking for love online are older because they've done a lot of living and exhausted all other options. Other than that, you've got yourself a perv."

drinking1

The Unavailable Man-> Night Clubs

"It takes a unique lack of standards to go looking for love in a night club. They are filled with men looking forward to the lustful appetizer of you twerking on their zippers, ready to take home any and everything with test results to prove it. The environment is dark and drinks are flowing; translated into the thoughts of a man, 'Once I get her tipsy enough, I got a good chance of taking her home.'"

educated men

The Educated-> Library, Museum

"Real men do real things and educated men work in the same fashion. There aren't too many guys flipping bricks and riding 'round with that Nina who have a library card so chances are, if you meet a man in a library or museum, he has an appreciation for intellect and doesn't mind spending time mentally edifying himself. He's also likely to be able to hold a decent conversation on something other than the chances of Kobe's return to the finals."

handy man

The Handy Man-> Lowes, Home Depot

"Now I don't expect you to go out in the next home improvement store parking lot with a sign that says 'Meet Me,' but if you ever are in need of new light bulbs, opt out of the local market and head to Lowes. The guys here are likely good with their hands, possibly give great massages, and have a little old school upbringing with a father in their household because mothers don't typically teach young men how to put on a roof. So with at least his father in the home, there's a good chance for some great values to be instilled about how to lead a household."

gym time

The Disciplined-> Gym, Garbage Truck

"Okay, I know the gym is a toss-up, but the difference is in the man's demeanor. If he's constantly in the mirror or so happens to be on rep 1,000 when you walk by, then I'm not talking about him. If he's with a pack of other meat heads screaming and growling just to stretch, then not him either. But for the guy who consistently comes in, gets his workout in and leaves; that's a guy who mentally has taken charge of his health which is a good sign for how he handles the rest of his responsibilities. The blue collared worker is another one. Anyone that can wake up 3:45 in the morning enough consecutive weeks to keep a steady job deserves respect.

 

You're probably thinking, 'Wait, where are the rest of the places to meet the good men?' Well, compare your ratio of frogs you've kissed to princes and you'll see why the list is lop-sided. There's no Good Men Members Only policy at any location, but the key isn't to just meet a good man, but rather the right man for you. It doesn't matter how many babies he saved from a burning building or what organs he's donating when he dies; if you don't have anything in common with him, it won't work."

From the Web

More on Vibe

Getty Images

Kush & Splendor: 5 CBD Beauty Products That’ll Take Your Self-Care Routine From 0 To 100

Lotions, creams, and salves—oh my! With cannabidiol (CBD) popping up in just about every product you can imagine, the cannabis-infused beauty industry is clearly on the come-up. In fact, analysts predict that the “wellness” movement—as well as the legalization of Mary Jane across the world—will help rake in $25 billion globally in the next 10 years, according to Business Insider. That’s 15 percent of the $167 billion skincare market.

And what better way to up the ante on one’s wellness routine than with all-natural CBD? Just ask Dr. Lana Butner, naturopathic doctor and acupuncturist at NYC’s Modrn Sanctuary, who incorporates CBD in her treatments.

“CBD is a fantastic addition to acupuncture sessions for both its relaxation and anti-inflammatory, pain-relieving effects,” Butner shares with Vixen. “The calming effects of CBD allows for patients to deeply relax into the treatment and really tap into the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest, digestion and muscle repair/regeneration.”

She adds that CBD’s pain-relieving effects are “far-reaching,” from muscular and joint pains to migraines and arthritis—and even IBS and indigestion.

The magic lies in CBD’s ability to impact endocannabinoid receptor activity in our bodies. Without getting too wordy, our bodies come equipped with a system called the endocannabinoid system (ECS), which is the HBIC over our sleep, appetite, pain and immune system response. Also known as cannabidiol, CBD teams up with this system to help reduce inflammation and interact with neurotransmitters. According to Healthline, CBD has also been scientifically shown to impact the brain’s receptors for serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for regulating our mood and social behavior.

All that said, it’s important to note that not all CBD products are created equal. Many brands cashing in on the green beauty wave use hemp seed oil, sometimes referred to as cannabis sativa seed oil, in place of CBD... which doesn’t make them any less great! Hemp seed oil is actually high in antioxidants, amino acids, and omega-3 and -6 fatty acids—all of which are thebomb.com for your skin.

“It’s generally viewed as a superfood and is great for adding nutritional value to your diet,” Ashley Lewis, co-founder of Fleur Marché, told Well and Good last month. “In terms of skin care, it’s known as a powerful moisturizer and skin softener that doesn’t clog pores or contribute to oily skin.”

However, when companies start marketing CBD and hemp oil as one-in-the-same, that’s when things get a bit tricky.

“The biggest issue is that hemp seed oil and CBD are two totally different compounds that come from different parts of the hemp plant, have different makeups, and different benefits,” Lewis added. “Marketing them as the same thing just isn’t accurate and does a disservice to consumers who are expecting certain benefits that they won’t get from hemp seed oil and who are often paying more for what they think is CBD.”

So if you’re looking to benefit from the perks specifically attributed to CBD, make sure you’re reading labels before buying, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Hell, ask for a product’s test results, while you’re at it. It never hurts to be sure.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, are you ready to see what all the hype is about? For this 4/20, we rounded up a few CBD (and hemp!)-infused products to help give your self-care routine a bit of a boost. Looks like your holiday just got that much kushier. You’re welcome!

Note: Data and regulations surrounding CBD and its use are still in development. That said, please don’t take anything written in this post as medical or legal advice, and definitely double check the laws in your state. Also, please do your body a favor and hit up your doctor before trying any new supplements. We’re just tryna look out for you. Okay? Okay. Read on.

Continue Reading
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images

Vivica A. Fox Explains Past Hesitance Behind 'Two Can Play That Game' Script

In a new interview with Essence, actress Vivica A. Fox discussed how she initially turned down her role in Two Can Play That Game based on the script. The established entertainer said it's her mission to ensure that black people are positively portrayed onscreen, and noticed the aforementioned film's prose didn't live up to those standards.

"I think the reason why—no I know the reason why—I've been doing this for such a long time is that I fight," Fox said. "When we did Two Can Play That Game, I fought for the way we talked, walked, the way we loved each other." The Set It Off actress continued to state that she consistently declined Two Can Play That Game before signing on to play the lead role. "Because the script, when I first got it, I turned it down three times because it just wasn't a good representation of African-Americans, so I fought them on everything," she noted. "I want to make sure that the images of African-Americans are as positive and as true as they can possibly be."

In 2001, the romantic comedy debuted to fanfare, boasting an all-star cast of Morris Chestnut, Mo'Nique, Anthony Anderson, Bobby Brown, Gabrielle Union, Wendy Raquel Robinson, and more. Directed by Mark Brown (Barbershop, Iverson, How To Be A Player), Fox plays a career driven person named Shante Smith who navigates a curveball when her boyfriend Keith Fenton (Chestnut) cheats on her with a co-worker.

After its release, Two Can Play That Game raked in over $22 million at the box office.

Continue Reading
Actress Gabrielle Union attends the Being Mary Jane premiere, screening, and party on January 9, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Bennett Raglin/Getty Images for BET)
Getty Images

BET To Unveil Edible Billboard For 'Being Mary Jane' Wedding Finale

As Being Mary Jane comes to an end, BET is willing to offer fans a taste of what's to come in the series finale.

The network has enlisted the help of Ayesha Curry, celebrity cook and cookbook author, to create an edible billboard that also doubles as a wedding cake. The sweet treat will commemorate Mary Jane's (played by Gabrielle Union) nuptials in the two-hour series finale.

On April 20 from 1:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M. at Brooklyn's Atlantic Terminal in New York, fans will be presented with the edible billboard. At the intersection of Ashland Place and Hanson Place, the closer Being Mary Jane enthusiasts get to the billboard the quicker they'll notice that the four-tiered wedding cake is created from individual boxes, each containing a slice of Curry's prized wedding cake.

All fans have to do is pull a box from the billboard, snap a picture for the 'Gram, take a bite and enjoy. Although lovers of the show won't be able to celebrate with Mary Jane herself, biting into a slice of her wedding cake, for free, is the next best thing.

Don't forget to tune into the series finale of Being Mary Jane on Tues. (April 23) at 8/7 c.

Also, check out what's to come on the series of Being Mary Jane below.

Save the date! 👰🏾It'll be worth the wait. Join us for the series finale of #BeingMaryJane TUES APR 23 8/7c only on @BET! pic.twitter.com/jEwkbC71OW

— #BeingMaryJane (@beingmaryjane) March 29, 2019

Continue Reading

Top Stories