Recap: 11 Best Quotes From Last Night’s ‘Scandal’

Season 3, Episode 15
“Mama Said Knock You Out”

Following the #WhoGotShot hoopla, things are seemingly back to normal in the nation’s capital. That is, until the First Kids, Karen and Andrew, come home for a First Family TV interview. Both teens are taking aim and firing shots at their parents for shocking reasons. Olivia, aka “the help,” continuously tries to clean up the family messes. And Jake tries to find comfort in an enemy, but finds himself standing alone.

Here are the best quotes from last night’s episode.

1. “Glass houses, Olivia.” –Andrew Nichols
Somehow, the resident White Hat of the show has morphed into a hypocrite. Chucking stones and pointing fingers more frequently than a playground bully, Liv urges Andrew to “stay away” from Mellie. What she fails to mention is her mid-day romp with Fitz just prior to this conversation.

2. “Hashtag fascist, hashtag war criminal, hashtag–You get the idea.” –Abby Whelan
After the Gladiators do a little digging, the team discovers that Fitz’s son Jerry has been running an anti-Grant campaign via Twitter and copping merch supporting Fitz’s opponent.

3. “I think Karen is my daughter and I will take care of it!” –Mellie Grant
For the entire episode, it’s Liv’s job to get the First Family on TV, but when Karen catches Mellie with “Uncle Andrew,” it’s no longer Ms. Fix It’s place to assess damages.

4. “I wasn’t as innocent back then as you think… I owe her.” –Harrison Wright
Waiting on a solid storyline for Harrison is like watching paint dry, but with Adnan Salif back in the picture, Harrison’s libido is on one.

5. “You were on your knees with Uncle Andrew. I saw you. It was disgusting.” –Karen Grant

6. “I am Command, which means you don’t tell me to do anything because I am not your bitch… You comfort people and you look pretty and you talk tough.” –Jake Ballard

7. “He killed James! Let me go!” –Cyrus
With reason, Cyrus’ emotions are still spiraling since the death of his husband James. But Beane’s arbitrary swing at Jake for killing the former press secretary lands on, well, nothing. Didn’t he order the initial hit anyway? Oh.

8. “I’d rather be a traitor than what you are, Livvy. Cleaning up those peoples’ messes, fixing up their lives. You think you’re family but you’re nothing but the help. And you don’t even know it.” –Mama Pope
Those weren’t Rick Ross bars Mama Pope was spitting, but it was certainly the truth. Although not the best time to drop knowledge to her estranged kid, Mama Pope understands Liv’s true role in the White House better than she does.

9. “God forbid we should show weakness. Better to say that you’re here on business. To threaten me and flex your muscles, but all of that’s just pretense. Isn’t it? A way to feel less alone in the world. To see that I too have stood in your shoes. Well, guess what, YOU’RE ALONE!” –Rowan Pope
Since Jake was promoted to H.N.I.C., his emotional compass has wavered (See: James’ murder). But no matter the amount of connections Jake attempts to make under the guise of B613 business, Papa Pope assures him that his new position is a one-man band. “Thanks for reminding me that when I decide to kill you,” Jake responds. “I need to do it all by myself.”

10. “I’m talking to my wife.” –President Fitz
That’s right, Fitz. In a heated conversation about Mellie’s affair and the exact point the First Marriage began to crumple, Fitz screams at Liv (his mistress!), who is still desperately trying to force a happy family on TV.

11. “It is not my place. I am at work.” –Olivia Pope
Although emotions for Fitz run deep, here it is: the moment Liv realizes her role among the First Family is, essentially, to keep them together.