10 Reasons You May Not Be Commitment Worthy

game player

Cuffing season is almost over and you probably spent most of it laid up with a man who seems like he's ready but has yet to pop the question-- "will you be my girlfriend?" If this is a reoccurring cycle you're too familiar with—the one where you date for months but never become official—you're probably not viewed as wife material.

Good men don't give out titles to women they don't want a future with. A keeper sees us as an investment because we will cost him his time, money and heart. If you're giving off signs that his interest rate won't increase over time, he's not plunging into those waters. Most women think they have the game figured out, but are constantly getting played. If you've found the man you want to settle down with, here's 10 things you may or may not be doing that aren't making you worthy of his commitment.

Photo Credits: Getty

drunk text

Party Girl

If you have FOMO (fear of missing out), he's not looking to commit to you because a good man doesn't want want a female that is always on the scene. If you're in a club before 11pm turning up every weekend, these are all caution signs that you're not the one. Unlike women, men are very logical when it comes to the future.

Instead of going out every weekend, map out times to go out for a significant reason. If it's not a girls night celebration, always invite him to come. He probably won't care to go, but the offer shows him that you're not going out looking for the attention of other men.

Thinking

No Aspiration

If you can't readily discuss your future success plans, he won't see you being a good teammate. Like Steve Harvey said, "what are your short term, long term goals?". If you have none, you need to start mapping them out.

Make a vision board, finish those college courses and apply for that career job you want. If a guy knows his girl's goal in life is to own the basketball team instead of becoming a basketball wife, you'll definitely get the commitment you seek.

researching on computer

Career vs. Job

Are you investing in a career instead of a job? A career is the "pursuit of a lifelong ambition" in which you must have certain abilities and specialties that you train and study to gain. A job is an "activity through which an individual can earn money" and you don't necessarily need any special skills.

Men want to be pushed by their significant other's hardwork and vice versa. That means if you're working to get by or look fly, he sees you as a bad investment. A man with aspiration isn't marrying a woman that's stagnant and is okay living based on her weekly paycheck.

black-couple

Family Relationship

If you have a bad relationship with your immediate family, fix it now. Unless you've been through some unimaginable circumstances like child abuse, molestation, etc., the minor tifs you have with your lineage should be reconciled. A lot of men are family oriented and knowing the girl they want to settle down with is always on the outs with her parents or siblings are red lights for guys.

Try talking to him about your situations and getting his advice on how to handle it. He'll appreciate your efforts to include him as well as fixing the problem.

lying

Sex Life

If you really want the title for a guy, your best bet is to hold off sex. However, if you've already opened pandora's box, you have to keep him interested. You have to always bring your A game in the bedroom. It's superficial, but a man's sex life is very important and if you're good at what you do, he will lock you down to ensure that he doesn't have to share you. You don't have to play all your cards early on, but you have to show him that your committed to pleasing him.

Try bringing a toy, a new position and if you're not the controlling kind--take control. If he sees that sex with you gets better each time, he sees your sex as a good investment.

Draya Michele in oversized mens shirt

Hoefax

It really pays to keep your legs closed. If he knows that you've been around the block many times, he's not going to commit. No good man wants a female who doesn't value her body and will let anyone enter her. Don't sleep with every man you date and try to hold off giving him sex for at least 10 weeks. If he has to work for your goodies, he knows that you don't just give it up to every man that takes you to a 5-star restaurant.

Photo Credit: Instagram

looking at clothes

Phones Always Ringing

Your phone shouldn't be ringing every time you two are together. He knows it can be either gender, but will initially assume it's a man. Think about it--if the tables were flipped, you would assume the same.

If it's harmless, try turning your phone on airplane mode so that he sees a change in your phone activity.

couple

Insecurity

Don't be a "Debbie Downer." If you're constantly bringing yourself down and pointing out your flaws, he will see you as flawed. Confidence is a girl's best outfit, so rock the hell out of your's.

hotel-suite

House in Order

What does his living situation look like? If you're always at his house, but never take the initiative to straighten up his things, he's not seeing signs to lock you down. We're not saying give up your feministic views on equality, but remember you're a lady. If you're okay with living in an unkept place, you'll become more of a girl that can kick it than someone that is laying the foundation of a partnership.

Small baby steps is all it takes. If you sleep over and he's getting dressed, make the bed. If you come there and there's clothes everywhere, pick them up. The more he sees you making him get his appearance together, he'll learn the rules, adapt, but really appreciate it.

imsis573-033

Compromise and Cater

Everything can't be your way or the highway. If you're always making him watch reality TV when the game's on or do what you want to do, that's a no-no for his future manhood. A relationship is about compromising and catering to the other person, so if you're always getting your way, you'll be soon left all alone.

If you hate sports, do something else sometimes because its an important aspect to men (for whatever reason). Also, if he's always taking you out and footing the bill, surprise him with a date night or weekend where you put an effort of doing all the things you know he wants to do.

From the Web

More on Vibe

Aaliyah during TNT Presents - A Gift of Song - New York - January 1, 1997 in New York City, New York, United States.
KMazur/WireImage

Fans Rally For Aaliyah's Discography To Be Released On Streaming Platforms

As another day passes without Aaliyah's music on streaming platforms, fans are looking for answers.

Over the weekend, the hashtag #FreeAaliyahMusic appeared on Twitter in light of song battles between Swizz Beats vs. Timbaland and Ne-Yo vs. Johnta Austin. The latter opponents played their collaborations with the late singer, proving Baby Girl's dynamic relevancy in the age of modern R&B. As songs like "I Don't Wanna" and "Come Over" picked up plays on YouTube, the hashtag pointed out the tragedy of her songs not existing on platforms like Spotify, Tidal and Apple Music.

Aaliyah's only album on multiple platforms is her 1994 debut, Age Ain't Nothing But A Number. Other albums like the platinum-selling One in A Million and Aaliyah are being held in a vault of sorts along with other unmixed vocals by her uncle and founder of Blackground Records, Barry Hankerson.

Hankerson has built up a mysterious yet haunting aura over the years due to his refusal to release Aaliyah's music on streaming platforms. Reasons are unknown but Stephen Witt's 2016 investigation revealed business deals like the shift in distribution from  Jive Records to Atlantic helped Hankerson take ownership of the singer's masters. The deal was made in 1996 when Blackground featured artists like Aaliyah, Toni Braxton, R. Kelly, then-production duo Timbaland and Magoo as well as Missy Elliott.

Sadly, Aaliyah's music isn't the only recordings lost in the shuffle. Recordings from Timbaland and Toni Braxton have been hidden from the world with both taking legal action against the label over the years. There's also JoJo, who had to break from the label after they refused to release her third album. The singer recently re-recorded her first two albums.

With Aaliyah's music getting the attention it deserves, Johnta Austin discussed the singer's impact on R&B today. "It was amazing, she was incredible from top to bottom," he told OkayPlayer of working with the singer on "Come Over" and "I Don't Wanna." "I don't think Aaliyah gets the vocal credit that she deserves. When she was on it, she had the riffs, she had everything."

Earlier this year, an account impersonating Hankerson claimed her music would arrive on streaming platforms January 16, on what would've been her 41st birthday. A docuseries called the Aaliyah Diaries was also promoted for a release on Netflix.

Of course, it was far from the truth. Fans can enjoy selected videos and songs on YouTube, but it's clear they want more.

 

Aaliyah’s music is the landmark for a lot of your favs not only was she ahead of her time with her futuristic sounds she also was a fashion Icon dancer and phenomenal actress . The future generations need be exposed to her artistry and pay homage .#FreeAaliyahMusic pic.twitter.com/LxZfxcqRgF

— Black Clover (@la_alchemist) March 29, 2020

Her first #1 solely based on AirPlay! She was the first ! #FreeAaliyahMusic pic.twitter.com/BHlANZjCGZ

— (@hodeciii) March 29, 2020

Makes no sense for someone still so influential to be hidden. Many try to emulate her. On Spotifys This is Aaliyah playlist, theres some great tracks not on her main Spotify #FreeAaliyahMusic pic.twitter.com/vLqLTVxqO9

— Blackity Black⁷ (@ClaudBuzzzz) March 29, 2020

Aaliyah is trending once again. She deserves endless flowers. This is true impact y’all. Her voice, her sound, her music...She’s been gone for 2 decades and y’all see the love for her is even stronger! We miss you baby girl! #FreeAaliyahMusic pic.twitter.com/ALDcT0ZQxR

— A A L I Y A H (@forbbygrlaali) March 30, 2020

Aaliyah said she wanted to be remembered for her music and yet most of it is not on streaming services #FreeAaliyahMusic pic.twitter.com/zwk0AWMCoE

— RJR (@MyNewEssence96) March 29, 2020

aaliyah’s gems like more than a woman deserve to be in streaming sites #FreeAaliyahMusic pic.twitter.com/mM2GWEg1pe

— k (@grandexrocky) March 30, 2020

I saw #FreeAaliyahMusic and IMMEDIATELY jumped into action! I can’t express how betrayed I felt when we were supposed to have all her music on Spotify by her birthday. Her discography is deeply underestimated and we need to make it right for our babygirl!pic.twitter.com/GfxBeJxUY1

— jerrica✨ (@jerricaofficial) March 29, 2020

Before Megan The Stallion drove the boat...

Aaliyah rocked the boat...

#FreeAaliyahMusic pic.twitter.com/iXNwssD3sY

— Al’Bei (@_albei) March 29, 2020

i think we should have that conversation #FreeAaliyahMusic pic.twitter.com/cGl269tuTr

— AALIYAH LEGION (@AaliyahLegion) April 1, 2020

Continue Reading
Singers Adrienne Bailon (L) and Kiely Williams of the 'Cheetah Girls' pose for photos around Mercedes Benz Fashion Week held at Smashbox Studios on October 18, 2007 in Culver City, California.
Katy Winn/Getty Images for IMG

Kiely Williams Explains Fallout With Adrienne Bailon Houghton And Alleged Fight With Raven-Symonè

Our current isolated way of life has given some plenty of time for reflection like Kiely Williams of the former girl group 3LW and The Cheetah Girls (ask your kids). The tales of both successful groups have been told time after time by fans in YouTube documentaries and members of each collective but Williams has decided to share her side of the story.

Williams hopped on Live Monday (March 30) where she discussed her former friendship with The Real co-host Adrienne Bailon Houghton and the infamous chicken throwing fight with actress/singer Naturi Naughton. The mother of one didn't pinpoint exactly why she fell out with Houghton but did point out how she wouldn't be interested in appearing on her talk show.

"I don't think Adrienne wants to have live TV with me," Williams said. "'Cause she's gon' have to say, 'Yes Kiely, I did pretend to be your best friend. Now, I am not.' You were either lying then or you're lying now. You either were my best friend and now you're just not claiming me or you were pretending [to be my best friend."

The two remained friends after Naughton was kicked out of 3LW, the platinum-selling group known for 2000s pop hits like "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)" and "Playas Gon' Play." Williams and Houghton were eventually picked to be apart of The Cheetah Girls with then-Disney darling Raven-Symonè and dancer Sabrina Bryan.

Williams went on to discuss her fight with Naughton, which she denies had anything to do with her skin color. With her mother near, Williams claimed Naughton called her a b***h, leading to the fight. While she didn't clear up the chicken throwing, she stated how she was "going for her neck" and was holding food and her baby sister in the process.

Apologies aren't on the horizon either. “I don’t feel like I have anything to make amends for, especially as it relates to Adrienne,” Kiely said. “As far as Naturi goes, if there was ever a reason to apologize, all of that has kind of been overshadowed by the literal lies and really ugly stuff that she said about my mom and my sister. So, no. Not interested in that. I’m sorry.”

Moving onto The Cheetah Girls, Williams also denied claims she got into fights with Raven-Symonè on the set of The Cheetah Girls films and never outed her as a teen. The rumor about Symonè and Williams was reportedly started by Symonè's former co-star Orlando Brown.

Symonè has often shared positive memories about The Cheetah Girls and their reign but did imply during an episode of The View how co-star Lynn Whitfield kept her from losing her cool on set.

On a lighter note, Symonè, Houghton and Naughton have kept in contact with Naughton and Houghton putting their differences aside during an appearance on The Real. 

Symonè and Houghton also reunited at the Women's March in Los Angeles in January. During Bailon's performance at the event, the two briefly performed the Cheetah Girls' classic, "Together We Can."

Willaims also shared some stories about the making of the group's hits. Check out her Live below.

Continue Reading
Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images

Kelis Announces ‘Cooked With Cannabis’ Show Will Premiere On Netflix

Kelis is taking her chef talents to Netflix. The musician will host a food competition show titled Cooked With Cannabis that’ll premiere on the very-fitting April 20 (4/20). According to NME, the show will span six episodes and be co-hosted by chef Leather Storrs.

Describing the opportunity as a “dream come true” since she’s a major supporter of the streaming service, Kelis took to Instagram to share how cannabis and cooking is one of her many creative passions. “As a chef, I was intrigued by the food and as an everyday person, I was interested in how powerful this topic is in today’s society,” the mother-of-two writes. “In this country, many things have been used systemically to oppress groups of people, but this is so culturally important for us to learn and grow together.”

Each episode will place three chefs against each other as they craft three-course meals with cannabis as the central ingredient. Each episode’s winner takes home $10,000. Guests will play an integral role in who takes home the cash prize. Too $hort, and El-P are just a few of this season's guests.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

I'm really excited to announce my new show, Cooked with Cannabis on @Netflix!! Anyone that knows me, knows how much I love my Netflix, so this is a dream come true. Interestingly, this was one of those things that I didn't go looking for, it kind of came to me. As a chef, I was intrigued by the food and as an everyday person, I was interested in how powerful this topic is in today's society. In this country, many things have been used systematically to oppress groups of people, but this is so culturally important for us to learn and grow together. I hope you all will tune in, it's definitely going to be a good time! We launch on 4/20! XO, Kelis

A post shared by Kelis (@kelis) on Mar 18, 2020 at 7:57am PDT

In a previous Lenny Letter profile, Kelis shared she comes from a line of culinary influences beginning with her mother who owned a catering service. In 2008, the “Milkshake” singer sought to refine her cooking skills by enrolling in the Le Cordon Bleu school. Receiving a certificate as a trained saucier, the New York native put her expertise to the test during pop-up restaurants in her native city, created a hot sauce line, and co-owns a sustainable farm in Quindio, Colombia.

“Food is revolutionary because it is the one and only international language. It’s the most human thing you can partake in,” she said in an interview with Bon Appetit. “We are the only species that cooks.”

This isn’t Kelis’ first foray into the reality-cooking television world. In 2014, she partnered with the Cooking Channel for Saucy and Sweet and published the "My Life on a Plate" cookbook a year later.

Continue Reading

Top Stories