black-couple-vibe-vixen-2 black-couple-vibe-vixen-2

10 Reasons You May Not Be Commitment Worthy

game player

Cuffing season is almost over and you probably spent most of it laid up with a man who seems like he's ready but has yet to pop the question-- "will you be my girlfriend?" If this is a reoccurring cycle you're too familiar with—the one where you date for months but never become official—you're probably not viewed as wife material.

Good men don't give out titles to women they don't want a future with. A keeper sees us as an investment because we will cost him his time, money and heart. If you're giving off signs that his interest rate won't increase over time, he's not plunging into those waters. Most women think they have the game figured out, but are constantly getting played. If you've found the man you want to settle down with, here's 10 things you may or may not be doing that aren't making you worthy of his commitment.

Photo Credits: Getty

drunk text

Party Girl

If you have FOMO (fear of missing out), he's not looking to commit to you because a good man doesn't want want a female that is always on the scene. If you're in a club before 11pm turning up every weekend, these are all caution signs that you're not the one. Unlike women, men are very logical when it comes to the future.

Instead of going out every weekend, map out times to go out for a significant reason. If it's not a girls night celebration, always invite him to come. He probably won't care to go, but the offer shows him that you're not going out looking for the attention of other men.

Thinking

No Aspiration

If you can't readily discuss your future success plans, he won't see you being a good teammate. Like Steve Harvey said, "what are your short term, long term goals?". If you have none, you need to start mapping them out.

Make a vision board, finish those college courses and apply for that career job you want. If a guy knows his girl's goal in life is to own the basketball team instead of becoming a basketball wife, you'll definitely get the commitment you seek.

researching on computer

Career vs. Job

Are you investing in a career instead of a job? A career is the "pursuit of a lifelong ambition" in which you must have certain abilities and specialties that you train and study to gain. A job is an "activity through which an individual can earn money" and you don't necessarily need any special skills.

Men want to be pushed by their significant other's hardwork and vice versa. That means if you're working to get by or look fly, he sees you as a bad investment. A man with aspiration isn't marrying a woman that's stagnant and is okay living based on her weekly paycheck.

black-couple

Family Relationship

If you have a bad relationship with your immediate family, fix it now. Unless you've been through some unimaginable circumstances like child abuse, molestation, etc., the minor tifs you have with your lineage should be reconciled. A lot of men are family oriented and knowing the girl they want to settle down with is always on the outs with her parents or siblings are red lights for guys.

Try talking to him about your situations and getting his advice on how to handle it. He'll appreciate your efforts to include him as well as fixing the problem.

lying

Sex Life

If you really want the title for a guy, your best bet is to hold off sex. However, if you've already opened pandora's box, you have to keep him interested. You have to always bring your A game in the bedroom. It's superficial, but a man's sex life is very important and if you're good at what you do, he will lock you down to ensure that he doesn't have to share you. You don't have to play all your cards early on, but you have to show him that your committed to pleasing him.

Try bringing a toy, a new position and if you're not the controlling kind--take control. If he sees that sex with you gets better each time, he sees your sex as a good investment.

Draya Michele in oversized mens shirt

Hoefax

It really pays to keep your legs closed. If he knows that you've been around the block many times, he's not going to commit. No good man wants a female who doesn't value her body and will let anyone enter her. Don't sleep with every man you date and try to hold off giving him sex for at least 10 weeks. If he has to work for your goodies, he knows that you don't just give it up to every man that takes you to a 5-star restaurant.

Photo Credit: Instagram

looking at clothes

Phones Always Ringing

Your phone shouldn't be ringing every time you two are together. He knows it can be either gender, but will initially assume it's a man. Think about it--if the tables were flipped, you would assume the same.

If it's harmless, try turning your phone on airplane mode so that he sees a change in your phone activity.

couple

Insecurity

Don't be a "Debbie Downer." If you're constantly bringing yourself down and pointing out your flaws, he will see you as flawed. Confidence is a girl's best outfit, so rock the hell out of your's.

hotel-suite

House in Order

What does his living situation look like? If you're always at his house, but never take the initiative to straighten up his things, he's not seeing signs to lock you down. We're not saying give up your feministic views on equality, but remember you're a lady. If you're okay with living in an unkept place, you'll become more of a girl that can kick it than someone that is laying the foundation of a partnership.

Small baby steps is all it takes. If you sleep over and he's getting dressed, make the bed. If you come there and there's clothes everywhere, pick them up. The more he sees you making him get his appearance together, he'll learn the rules, adapt, but really appreciate it.

imsis573-033

Compromise and Cater

Everything can't be your way or the highway. If you're always making him watch reality TV when the game's on or do what you want to do, that's a no-no for his future manhood. A relationship is about compromising and catering to the other person, so if you're always getting your way, you'll be soon left all alone.

If you hate sports, do something else sometimes because its an important aspect to men (for whatever reason). Also, if he's always taking you out and footing the bill, surprise him with a date night or weekend where you put an effort of doing all the things you know he wants to do.

From the Web

More on Vibe

Singers Adrienne Bailon (L) and Kiely Williams of the 'Cheetah Girls' pose for photos around Mercedes Benz Fashion Week held at Smashbox Studios on October 18, 2007 in Culver City, California.
Katy Winn/Getty Images for IMG

Kiely Williams Explains Fallout With Adrienne Bailon Houghton And Alleged Fight With Raven-Symonè

Our current isolated way of life has given some plenty of time for reflection like Kiely Williams of the former girl group 3LW and The Cheetah Girls (ask your kids). The tales of both successful groups have been told time after time by fans in YouTube documentaries and members of each collective but Williams has decided to share her side of the story.

Williams hopped on Live Monday (March 30) where she discussed her former friendship with The Real co-host Adrienne Bailon Houghton and the infamous chicken throwing fight with actress/singer Naturi Naughton. The mother of one didn't pinpoint exactly why she fell out with Houghton but did point out how she wouldn't be interested in appearing on her talk show.

"I don't think Adrienne wants to have live TV with me," Williams said. "'Cause she's gon' have to say, 'Yes Kiely, I did pretend to be your best friend. Now, I am not.' You were either lying then or you're lying now. You either were my best friend and now you're just not claiming me or you were pretending [to be my best friend."

The two remained friends after Naughton was kicked out of 3LW, the platinum-selling group known for 2000s pop hits like "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)" and "Playas Gon' Play." Williams and Houghton were eventually picked to be apart of The Cheetah Girls with then-Disney darling Raven-Symonè and dancer Sabrina Bryan.

Williams went on to discuss her fight with Naughton, which she denies had anything to do with her skin color. With her mother near, Williams claimed Naughton called her a b***h, leading to the fight. While she didn't clear up the chicken throwing, she stated how she was "going for her neck" and was holding food and her baby sister in the process.

Apologies aren't on the horizon either. “I don’t feel like I have anything to make amends for, especially as it relates to Adrienne,” Kiely said. “As far as Naturi goes, if there was ever a reason to apologize, all of that has kind of been overshadowed by the literal lies and really ugly stuff that she said about my mom and my sister. So, no. Not interested in that. I’m sorry.”

Moving onto The Cheetah Girls, Williams also denied claims she got into fights with Raven-Symonè on the set of The Cheetah Girls films and never outed her as a teen. The rumor about Symonè and Williams was reportedly started by Symonè's former co-star Orlando Brown.

Symonè has often shared positive memories about The Cheetah Girls and their reign but did imply during an episode of The View how co-star Lynn Whitfield kept her from losing her cool on set.

On a lighter note, Symonè, Houghton and Naughton have kept in contact with Naughton and Houghton putting their differences aside during an appearance on The Real. 

Symonè and Houghton also reunited at the Women's March in Los Angeles in January. During Bailon's performance at the event, the two briefly performed the Cheetah Girls' classic, "Together We Can."

Willaims also shared some stories about the making of the group's hits. Check out her Live below.

Continue Reading
Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images

Kelis Announces ‘Cooked With Cannabis’ Show Will Premiere On Netflix

Kelis is taking her chef talents to Netflix. The musician will host a food competition show titled Cooked With Cannabis that’ll premiere on the very-fitting April 20 (4/20). According to NME, the show will span six episodes and be co-hosted by chef Leather Storrs.

Describing the opportunity as a “dream come true” since she’s a major supporter of the streaming service, Kelis took to Instagram to share how cannabis and cooking is one of her many creative passions. “As a chef, I was intrigued by the food and as an everyday person, I was interested in how powerful this topic is in today’s society,” the mother-of-two writes. “In this country, many things have been used systemically to oppress groups of people, but this is so culturally important for us to learn and grow together.”

Each episode will place three chefs against each other as they craft three-course meals with cannabis as the central ingredient. Each episode’s winner takes home $10,000. Guests will play an integral role in who takes home the cash prize. Too $hort, and El-P are just a few of this season's guests.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

I'm really excited to announce my new show, Cooked with Cannabis on @Netflix!! Anyone that knows me, knows how much I love my Netflix, so this is a dream come true. Interestingly, this was one of those things that I didn't go looking for, it kind of came to me. As a chef, I was intrigued by the food and as an everyday person, I was interested in how powerful this topic is in today's society. In this country, many things have been used systematically to oppress groups of people, but this is so culturally important for us to learn and grow together. I hope you all will tune in, it's definitely going to be a good time! We launch on 4/20! XO, Kelis

A post shared by Kelis (@kelis) on Mar 18, 2020 at 7:57am PDT

In a previous Lenny Letter profile, Kelis shared she comes from a line of culinary influences beginning with her mother who owned a catering service. In 2008, the “Milkshake” singer sought to refine her cooking skills by enrolling in the Le Cordon Bleu school. Receiving a certificate as a trained saucier, the New York native put her expertise to the test during pop-up restaurants in her native city, created a hot sauce line, and co-owns a sustainable farm in Quindio, Colombia.

“Food is revolutionary because it is the one and only international language. It’s the most human thing you can partake in,” she said in an interview with Bon Appetit. “We are the only species that cooks.”

This isn’t Kelis’ first foray into the reality-cooking television world. In 2014, she partnered with the Cooking Channel for Saucy and Sweet and published the "My Life on a Plate" cookbook a year later.

Continue Reading
Jeremy Allen

Volkswagen's Atlas Cross Sport Brings Adventure Back To Modern Road Trips

Crucial elements conjure a memorable road trip. For one, a definitive no-shuffle playlist has to hit all the right grooves. Breathtaking sights are a must and importantly, you need a reliable ride to bring it all together.

Before the coronavirus pandemic led to Canada’s closure of the border for non-citizens, VIBE took a trip to Vancouver, British Columbia, where we tested out Volkswagen’s Atlas Cross Sport along winding roads, rain and snow. Hailed as the “boldest SUV in the Volkswagen stable,” the vehicle is worth the hype as its upgrade puts a spin on the modern SUV with its sleek design, three rows of comfortable seating for the crew (or your groceries) and amazing speakers.

Fender Premium Audio is also provided on the SEL Premium trim. Their dedication to sound is thanks in part to the collaboration with Fender and Panasonic. With 12 speakers in total, the 480-watt 12-channel amplifier brings the sound to an arena-like level so when you need Siri, she’ll hear you loud and clear. Woofers are in each door with two wide-frequency speakers and a subwoofer in the rear.

“Pairing high design with the distinctive driving dynamics and value the brand is known for, the Atlas Cross Sport allows you to show up without showing off,” Scott Keogh, CEO, Volkswagen Group of America said in a press release. With a $30,425 starting price, consumers can get the best of both worlds in terms of style and substance. An all-wheel-drive SEL Premium R-Line is also under the $50,000 price tag.

But we know you have other questions. How was the ride? Did you meet Nardwuar? Do all Canadians have a sparkling patios accent like Drake?

Fortunately for you, we can answer two of those questions with confidence. While keeping a timestamp of the road trip, we enjoyed a few wild shenanigans, breathtaking views with the Atlas Cross Sport and plenty of songs you can add to your own road trip in the future.

Take a gander of our adventure below.

---

5:55 am MST: I wake up ready for the day but there’s only one thing on my mind–how does Mountain Time work? The curiosity makes me hit the snooze button.

6:00 am PDT: Okay, I’m awake and as it turns out, we’re on Pacific Daylight Time. Welp.

6:45 am PDT: Okay, I’m actually awake.

8:30 am PDT: I befriended some other adventurous spirits last night and we agree to take the trip to Whistler together. Emma and Kai will split the driving and I will supply the tunes.

8:45 am PDT: We get a look at our ride and the midnight blue Atlas Cross Sport is a vision, even with the morning dew across its bumper. We’re going to call him Lil Atlas. We were informed of the ride’s Car-Net Remote Access technology, which is offered at no additional charge for a solid five years. VW’s Car-Net also comes with a solid GPS signal and cellular connectivity.

8:50 am PDT: After snapping a few pics with Lil Atlas, we’re officially en route! Our stops include Horseshoe Bay Park, Porteau Cove, Shannon Falls and lastly, the Summit Lodge Boutique Hotel for our winter activities. Myself, Kai and Emma are all scheduled for bobsledding. My mind is filled with Cool Runnings clips and the instant regret of not bringing a swagged out bobsledding outfit.

9:15 am: I’m reading the room and we seem to be typical millennials– meaning we have extraordinary music taste and a strong appreciation of all genres.

Now Playing: Major Lazer’s “Particular” featuring Jidenna, Nasty C, Ice Prince and Patoranking and Shakira and Maluma’s “Clandestino.”

9:20 am PDT: The sights between Vancouver are so quaint and refreshing. It’s commendable to see so many local shops being embraced by residents. Horseshoe Bay Park is just as calming, despite the heavy overcast.

Now Playing: A Kaytranada back-to-back session featuring his remix of Teedra Moses’ classic bop “Be Your Girl” and Bubba cut “10%” with Kali Uchis.

9:56 am PDT: The turn up to Roddy Ricch’s “The Box” is real...a bit too real.

10:08 am PDT: Kai’s super cool GoPro has fallen off the side of the car. Turns out this timestamp is a good idea as we used it to help backtrack our time on the highway. Yes, the GoPro fell off on the highway.

10:14 am PDT: As Emma turns Lil Atlas around, Kai and I scale the roads for the GoPro. Luckily for us, we were on the shoulder which means it fell on the side of the highway not the middle of it.

Now Playing: Silk City’s “Electricity” featuring Dua Lipa

I’m not sure if the melodic vocals are hurting or helping our search.

10:19 am: It helps, we found the GoPro!

10:28 am PDT: We’re feeling relieved and relaxed. Maybe it’s the heated seats or the notion that we didn’t lose a pricey gadget.

Now Playing: Beyoncé’s “Freedom” with Kendrick Lamar and Jorja Smith’s “On My Mind” with Preditah

10:40 am PDT: Pulling up to Porteau Cove looks like every mountain graphic tee I’ve ever seen, minus the wolf. With so much interior space, we’re able to pick up another media pal and take a few pics with Lil Atlas.

11:30 am PDT: After stocking up on some road trip essentials like wet wipes, vitamins and coffee (tea for me), we’re off to Shannon Falls.

11:45 am PDT: We arrive at Shannon Falls but we’re craving one more adventure before our bobsledding appointments.

12:04 pm PDT: Going off route was a great idea as we uncovered a forest dripping with moss and fresh air. As we get some shots of Lil Atlas, I feel inclined to hug a tree.

12:46 pm PDT: We’re back on the road and I miss an opportunity to play Gucci Mane and Drake’s “Back On Road.”

I. Had. One. Job.

12:50 pm PDT: There’s still some Drake love.

Now Playing: Drake and Future’s “Life Is Good,” Pop Smoke’s “Welcome To The Party”

1:00 pm PDT: We’re just a few minutes away from the Summit Lodge when we learn the tale of Hut Man. According to legend, there’s a man who has lived in a hut in Whistler and takes trips across town on foot. This is rather interesting but also a bummer as the roads get foggy by the minute.

1:04 pm PDT: As we ride up to Summit Lodge, we have an opportunity to take a trip back in time. I decided to take us to the early 2010s when everyone had EDM fever (including us) and a fascination with ombre hair.

Now Playing: “Clarity,” by Zedd, Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding’s “I Need Your Love,” Swedish House Mafia’s “Don’t You Worry Child,” Krewella’s “Alive,” “Summertime Sadness” by Lana Del Rey and Cedric Gervais, and Major Lazer’s “Lean On” featuring MO and DJ Snake are in heavy rotation.

1:25 pm PDT: We depart from our good friend Lil Atlas. It was a long ride but we’re ready to chow down, specifically Kai.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Breakfast of Champions here in Vancouver @olympics city🏅 fueling up before sliding down the bobsled with @teamcanada & @vw on the world’s fastest ice track! ❄️🇨🇦 #whistler #winterolympics #KaiEatsBC 📷 @desire_renee

A post shared by Kai | Fitness Fashion Travel (@kaieatsworld) on Mar 2, 2020 at 10:29am PST

3:02 pm PDT: We en route to Whistler’s Sliding Center, the world’s fastest track. Whistler played host for the 2010 Winter Games which means I’m 10% more athletic.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Whistler Sliding Centre (@slidingcentre) on Mar 15, 2020 at 1:58pm PDT

3:18 pm PDT: We get a quick lesson in bobsledding and we’re learning the basics.

Get big in the sled (hold on to the ropes and broaden your shoulders) Keep head low Keep head low

It’s about to go down...the slide that is.

4:15 pm PDT: There’s no bobbing around on the sleds. We sign on our permission forms and we’re ready to go. With my amethyst close, “Mortal” plays on a loop in my mind.

4:46 pm PDT: The slide was less than 50 seconds but was thrilling as I felt gravity keeping my butt to the sled. If I could compare it to anything, it would be Coney Island’s Cyclone roller coaster. I know I’m going to feel this in the morning.

While a very long day, Lil Atlas kept our minds at ease and the sound system kept our spirits high. Cheers to Lil Atlas and the chance of doing this again in the future.

Learn more about Volkswagen’s 2020 Atlas Cross Sport here.

Listen to the playlist below.

Continue Reading

Top Stories