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10 Reasons You May Not Be Commitment Worthy

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Cuffing season is almost over and you probably spent most of it laid up with a man who seems like he's ready but has yet to pop the question-- "will you be my girlfriend?" If this is a reoccurring cycle you're too familiar with—the one where you date for months but never become official—you're probably not viewed as wife material.

Good men don't give out titles to women they don't want a future with. A keeper sees us as an investment because we will cost him his time, money and heart. If you're giving off signs that his interest rate won't increase over time, he's not plunging into those waters. Most women think they have the game figured out, but are constantly getting played. If you've found the man you want to settle down with, here's 10 things you may or may not be doing that aren't making you worthy of his commitment.

Photo Credits: Getty

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Party Girl

If you have FOMO (fear of missing out), he's not looking to commit to you because a good man doesn't want want a female that is always on the scene. If you're in a club before 11pm turning up every weekend, these are all caution signs that you're not the one. Unlike women, men are very logical when it comes to the future.

Instead of going out every weekend, map out times to go out for a significant reason. If it's not a girls night celebration, always invite him to come. He probably won't care to go, but the offer shows him that you're not going out looking for the attention of other men.


No Aspiration

If you can't readily discuss your future success plans, he won't see you being a good teammate. Like Steve Harvey said, "what are your short term, long term goals?". If you have none, you need to start mapping them out.

Make a vision board, finish those college courses and apply for that career job you want. If a guy knows his girl's goal in life is to own the basketball team instead of becoming a basketball wife, you'll definitely get the commitment you seek.

researching on computer

Career vs. Job

Are you investing in a career instead of a job? A career is the "pursuit of a lifelong ambition" in which you must have certain abilities and specialties that you train and study to gain. A job is an "activity through which an individual can earn money" and you don't necessarily need any special skills.

Men want to be pushed by their significant other's hardwork and vice versa. That means if you're working to get by or look fly, he sees you as a bad investment. A man with aspiration isn't marrying a woman that's stagnant and is okay living based on her weekly paycheck.


Family Relationship

If you have a bad relationship with your immediate family, fix it now. Unless you've been through some unimaginable circumstances like child abuse, molestation, etc., the minor tifs you have with your lineage should be reconciled. A lot of men are family oriented and knowing the girl they want to settle down with is always on the outs with her parents or siblings are red lights for guys.

Try talking to him about your situations and getting his advice on how to handle it. He'll appreciate your efforts to include him as well as fixing the problem.


Sex Life

If you really want the title for a guy, your best bet is to hold off sex. However, if you've already opened pandora's box, you have to keep him interested. You have to always bring your A game in the bedroom. It's superficial, but a man's sex life is very important and if you're good at what you do, he will lock you down to ensure that he doesn't have to share you. You don't have to play all your cards early on, but you have to show him that your committed to pleasing him.

Try bringing a toy, a new position and if you're not the controlling kind--take control. If he sees that sex with you gets better each time, he sees your sex as a good investment.

Draya Michele in oversized mens shirt


It really pays to keep your legs closed. If he knows that you've been around the block many times, he's not going to commit. No good man wants a female who doesn't value her body and will let anyone enter her. Don't sleep with every man you date and try to hold off giving him sex for at least 10 weeks. If he has to work for your goodies, he knows that you don't just give it up to every man that takes you to a 5-star restaurant.

Photo Credit: Instagram

looking at clothes

Phones Always Ringing

Your phone shouldn't be ringing every time you two are together. He knows it can be either gender, but will initially assume it's a man. Think about it--if the tables were flipped, you would assume the same.

If it's harmless, try turning your phone on airplane mode so that he sees a change in your phone activity.



Don't be a "Debbie Downer." If you're constantly bringing yourself down and pointing out your flaws, he will see you as flawed. Confidence is a girl's best outfit, so rock the hell out of your's.


House in Order

What does his living situation look like? If you're always at his house, but never take the initiative to straighten up his things, he's not seeing signs to lock you down. We're not saying give up your feministic views on equality, but remember you're a lady. If you're okay with living in an unkept place, you'll become more of a girl that can kick it than someone that is laying the foundation of a partnership.

Small baby steps is all it takes. If you sleep over and he's getting dressed, make the bed. If you come there and there's clothes everywhere, pick them up. The more he sees you making him get his appearance together, he'll learn the rules, adapt, but really appreciate it.


Compromise and Cater

Everything can't be your way or the highway. If you're always making him watch reality TV when the game's on or do what you want to do, that's a no-no for his future manhood. A relationship is about compromising and catering to the other person, so if you're always getting your way, you'll be soon left all alone.

If you hate sports, do something else sometimes because its an important aspect to men (for whatever reason). Also, if he's always taking you out and footing the bill, surprise him with a date night or weekend where you put an effort of doing all the things you know he wants to do.

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CupcakKe Reveals Abusive Boyfriend Led Her To Contemplate Suicide

Months of abuse led to the suicidal tweet posted by Chicago native CupcakKe, earlier this month. In a lengthy message posted to her Twitter account over the weekend, the 21-year-old rapper admitted that she’s been battling depression, brought on by an abusive ex-boyfriend.

In the post titled “my disturbing read,” CupcakKe accuses a man named, Christopher Terrell, of stealing her credit cards and terrorizing her throughout their relationship.

“This is someone I’ve been dating for the past [five] months,” she wrote in the now deleted post. “Out of the kindness of my heart I gave this man over [$30,000] during this period [of] time because I understand how it feels to be without (especially after me being homeless). He also has threatened to shoot my mom in the face [and] has threatened me on multiple occasions [and] said he can do it because he will get away with it!!!! I have screenshots, recorded calls, bank statements and all types of proof.

“Me being stupid in love I have [taken] this man back multiple times but every time I take him back the abuse gets [worse],” she added.

Further in the post, CupcakKe explains that her depression from feeling trapped in the relationship resulted in her contemplating suicide. “He [has] snatched off my wig in public, broke phones [and] continues to traumatize me every step of the way! This is what [led] to my ‘I’m committing suicide’ tweet…I have called the cops multiple times and they have yet to do anything about it,” she wrote, adding that Terrell is threatening her with revenge porn. She also admitted to posting his number on social media, and the numbers of women that he “plotted” with  to steal her money.

“Yes I am wrong for that,” she said. “But by me sending this message out it is not for harm to be sent his way, it’s for the police to make things way more serious!!!! Also this message is for every young girl or anyone in general that is struggling with abuse right now. I get u (once you see the first sign) leave!!!”

Read the full post below.

@Chicago_Police y’all really need to do something about @CupcakKe_rapper and her situation, she’s mentioned reaching out to y’all multiple times about this and nothings happened! Please do something before it’s too late...

— moonlight_baes (@m00nlight__baes) January 20, 2019

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Kelly Rowland Says Her Highly-Anticipated Project Is "Definitely Coming"

Six years ago, Kelly Rowland released her fourth studio album titled Talk a Good Game. The project boasted hit singles like "Kisses Down Low" and the transparent "Dirty Laundry." Now, the Houston native is preparing to release a project that'll surely satisfy fans' patient earbuds.

In an interview with Billboard, Rowland shared her hopes for putting out a new body of work and the pressure that she's encountered since she's been in the studio. "This is by far the longest, most pressure-filled process ever, only because I know what it's supposed to be and I have been so hard on myself. I know it," she said. "And it's the first time I've said it out loud. I've been extremely hard on myself. But it's definitely coming, and I'm more so excited about this project than anything else."

The news follows the recent release of Rowland's "Kelly" track, which was met with critical acclaim in November 2018. In addition to preparing the release of new music, the "Motivation" singer discussed fans' wish for a Destiny's Child reunion. The rumors have been fueled by social media photographs of Rowland with either Beyonce or Michelle or all three, especially during Beyonce's past Coachella performance. But Rowland assures readers that it's not what they think.

"It's so funny. I guess every time people see us together, they just see music but I see sisterhood, and that's what we are and that's what me, her, Michelle [Williams] and Solange and I are. People see us all together, they immediately think music. I'm like, no. Just family." As Rowland previously mentioned Solange, she hopes to one day work with her again.

"I'm a huge fan," she said. "I love her writing and how detailed and particular she is. I always wanted to figure out how the heck she has so many different layers of harmonies when she is constructing these vocals, and it's so complex but simple. It's genius. It's the genius in her genius mind that she has in there." One of the last times the pair collaborated was on Rowland's "Simply Deep" track off her debut solo album of the same name. Solange also penned a few songs off the same project. Fast forward to 2016, and Rowland's vocals were featured on Solange's iconic A Seat at the Table.

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Teyana Taylor To Pay Homage To Ballroom Culture In "WTP" Video

Teyana Taylor aims to keep her hot streak of innovative videos coming thanks to this recent announcement. Taking to Instagram on Wednesday (Jan. 9), the "Gonna Love Me" singer will show adoration to ballroom culture in the visual for "WTP."

Directed by Gregory "Beef" Jones, The Aunties Inc., and Taylor herself, the Harlemite takes viewers on her journey to the expression-filled space where she hopes to rack up 10s across the board from a group of judges. The premise of the video also seems to follow a mockumentary format airing on a fictional network named FEMTV. Alongside Taylor, other men and women get ready to display their talents and confidence on the ballroom floor.

"WTP" is featured on the mother-of-one's sophomore album, K.T.S.E., which was released in June 2018. While the rollout's controversy didn't entirely muddle the excitement behind the project's debut, Taylor said she was sold on the idea that her album would be treated as the biggest out of G.O.O.D. Music's string of releases last year.

"I didn't know ahead of time that there wouldn't be any singles or visuals. But I knew that it was going to be the five-album thing," she said during a HOT 97 interview. "[Kanye] wanted [my album] to be last, he wanted mine to be the biggest. That's the way they sauced it up. I was sold."

The video will debut on Jan. 19. Check out the teaser below.


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👀 1.19.19 👀 #WTP Directed by @teyanataylor & @ogbeefjones @theauntiesinc 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾 The wait is ALMOST over. 😏 @museumofsex

A post shared by Jimmy Neutch- Shumpert (@teyanataylor) on Jan 8, 2019 at 6:32pm PST

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