Gentlemen’s Corner: T.J. Holmes On Relationships, ‘Mixen Virginity’ and Fav Fives

T.J. Holmes opens up in our Gentlemen's Corner.

Tell us about yourself.
I am a University of Arkansas grad, I majored in journalism and from there started my career. I was on CNN for five years and then I moved on to my own show on BET, Don’t Sleep. Now I am a contributing anchor for MSNBC and I co-host the View sometimes. Along with being a contributing anchor, I am also a contributing writer and now I am working on my first book.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
I love this question because, I have no idea (laughs). In five years I want to be  healthy, still married and know that my baby girl is doing well.

What dating advice would you give our Vixens.
1. DON’T use a guy’s pros to justify his cons. For example, he might have all these good qualities but if you look in the con column he smokes crack. Women love to justify a con. Focus on the con column, there is something you know you don’t want in  a man in that column. If there’s something vital in that con list who gives a damn what is in that pro list.

2. DO have an open mind. Women often have a superficial list like the guy has to be 6’2, good looking, etc. But if the guy turns out to be a great guy who happens to be 5’10, a woman will think she is lowering her standards and that is just dumb.

Does monogamy still exist?
Men get a bad rep. Of course we can be faithful. Men have to stop putting themselves in positions where they can fail. There are so many men who never thought about cheating on their significant other, but end up cheating because they put themselves in a position to fail. For example: A married man walks into a hotel lobby. He has time to kill so he hits the bar and starts drinking with this woman. Next thing you know hours pass, they are having a good time and every hour that passes the percentage of him cheating goes up. That man put himself in a position where there is a bedroom upstairs and alcohol flowing. That is the perfect way to fail. Men have to be strong. But we love women and we have egos. Men have to keep themselves out of those scenarios the best way we can.