5 Things Taylor Swift Will Accomplish as NYC Ambassador

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There has been entirely too much talk about who is more qualified than Taylor Swift to be New York City’s ambassador. The Big Apple has been a city of transplants and expats for hundreds of years, making Taylor, like all preceding newcomers, just another a babe-in-the-woods work of naivety. And while the meat of the debate lies heavily on why she was deserving of such an esteemed title, her dainty sashay of prestige is the real emotional trigger here.

For many, it’s unnerving to see her regarded as the face of the city she knows nothing about, crowd surfing through Manhattan under the grasp of invisible hands, sailing around town like a pop tart Mary Poppins. When really, the affair is nothing short of an elaborate joke, although it feels more like a splash of mud plastered to your new white slacks thanks to a speeding cab while en route to the most important interview of your life. It’s infuriating. But, it can’t be undone.

So, with the obligatory devil’s advocate paragraph out of the way, here are 5 yupptastic things Taylor Swift will accomplish while under the influence of her hot, fresh, cup of repulsive privilege.

You ready? Hang on to your apartments.

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