My Funny President: Obama’s Best Jokes From The White House Correspondents Dinner 2015

The president got jokes. 

On “the night when Washington celebrates itself,” President Barack Obama took the podium yet again to poke fun at himself and his naysayers. At last night’s (Apr. 25) White House Correspondents dinner, the theme of the commander-in-Chief’s routine was the dwindling amount of time he has left as the “most powerful man in the world.” Noticeably more carefree, Obama offered quips about his legacy, and the never-ending criticism from his adversaries.

The climax of his speech however (at the 14:35 mark), came as Key & Peele’s Keegan-Michael Key played “Luther,” the president’s “anger translator.” Frantically spewing out all of the things the president presumably wished he could actually say, Key and Obama’s sketch was the stuff good comedy is made of: great timing and polar-opposite extremity. Watch President Obama’s full White House Correspondents Dinner speech above, and peep his best jokes of the night below.

On his presidential “bucket” list:
"After the mid-term elections, my advisors asked me,  'Mr. President, do you have a bucket list?' I said, Well I have something that rhymes with bucket list.’
“Take executive action on immigration? Bucket. New climate regulations? Bucket, it’s the right thing to do.”

On his bromance with Vice President Joe Biden:
“We’ve gotten so close that in some places in Indiana they won’t serve us pizza anymore.”

SEE ALSO: POTUS Does Spot On Impersonation Of Frank Underwood For April Fools

On people still believing he’s Muslim:
“Being president is never easy. I still have to fix a broken immigration system, issue veto threats, negotiate with Iran – all while finding time to pray five times a day.”

On his (very) rapidly graying hair:
“It is no wonder that people keep pointing out that presidency has aged me. I look so old John Boehner's already invited Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.

“Meanwhile Michelle hasn’t aged a day. I ask her what her secret is, she just says ‘Fresh fruits and vegetables.’ It’s aggravating.”

On people perceiving him as arrogant:
“Six years into my presidency, some people still say I’m arrogant and aloof, condescending. Some people are so dumb. No wonder I don’t meet with them.

On Hillary Clinton:
"I have one friend, just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and now she's living out of a van in Iowa."

From the Web

More on Vibe

John Moore

Sandy Hook Elementary Evacuates After Bomb Threat On 6th Anniversary Of Mass Shooting

Sandy Hook Elementary School was reportedly forced to evacuate its students and administration on Friday (Dec. 14), after receiving a bomb threat, CNN reports. The incident occurred on the sixth anniversary of the school's tragic mass shooting.

Newtown, Connecticut Police Lt. Aaron Bahamonde stated that the threat didn't appear to be substantial, but they decided to  evacuate the facility as an extra precaution.

Bomb squads reportedly swept the school and surrounding area for explosive devices but did not discover anything on the property. They later concluded that there was no immediate threat. The school administration dismissed students and faculty for the rest of the day however, considering the previous incident.

As previously noted, Sandy Hook endured a horrific mass shooting on Dec. 14, 2012, in which 20-year-old Adam Lanza shot and killed 20 children between six and seven years old, as well as six adult, staff members.

Earlier this month, thousands of documents were released about Lanza that revealed his mental state and social status in the years leading up to the shooting.

The shooting is not believed to be in connection to the recent string of bomb scares around the nation that targeted major politicians including the former first families Barack and Michelle Obama and Bill and Hillary Clinton.

Continue Reading
Scott Olson

North Carolina Prosecutors Say Teen Would Still Be Alive If Cops Pursued Evidence From 2016

North Carolina prosecutors have placed blame on local law enforcement stating had police pursued evidence, 13-year-old Hania Aguilar would still be alive.

Robeson County District Attorney Luther Johnson Britt spoke with reporters Wednesday (Dec. 12) and said authorities were able to link suspect Michael Ray McLellan to an unrelated rape case for about a year but failed to take action.

"This hurts," Britt said. "This is like taking a punch to the gut and not being prepared to get it."

McLellan has been charged with first-degree murder and a host of other charges related to the kidnapping, rape, and murder of the teen. He's being held without bail. Last month, Hania was kidnapped from her driveway by the 34-year-old and forced into a relative's vehicle.

The eighth grader's body was found last week in water and the SUV was found less than 10 miles away from her body. Britt told CNN with the help of an interpreter he spoke to the teen's mother and explained their daughter wouldn't be coming home.

"It was a difficult conversation to have with her," he added. "Maybe the most difficult conversation I've ever had with a victim's family -- to tell them that had this information been followed up on -- her daughter might be alive."

Sheriff Burnis Wilkins said the department would launch an internal investigation.

READ MORE: Time's Up Legal's Defense Fund Is Throwing A Star-Studded ebay Auction

Continue Reading
Drew Angerer

Incoming Attorney General Letitia James Planning Investigation Of Donald Trump And Co.

Incoming New York Attorney General Letitia James is planning a sweeping investigation of Donald Trump, his family and anyone associated with the president.

While speaking with NBC News, James said she will use every corner of the law to look at any illegal activity committed.

“We will use every area of the law to investigate President Trump and his business transactions and that of his family as well," James said.

Specifically, James will investigate any illegal activity associated with the president's New York real-estate holdings, including the 2016 meeting with a Russian official at Trump Tower and any government subsidies he's received.

"We want to investigate anyone in his orbit who has, in fact, violated the law,” the Democratic attorney general said.

After James announced her forthcoming investigation, Trump's former attorney Michael Cohen will face the music for lying to Congress and violating campaign laws. Cohen faces four years in prison.

READ MORE: Donald Trump "I'm The Least Racist Person...That I Can Tell You"

Continue Reading

Top Stories