My Funny President: Obama’s Best Jokes From The White House Correspondents Dinner 2015
On “the night when Washington celebrates itself,” President Barack Obama took the podium yet again to poke fun at himself and his naysayers. At last night’s (Apr. 25) White House Correspondents dinner, the theme of the commander-in-Chief’s routine was the dwindling amount of time he has left as the “most powerful man in the world.” Noticeably more carefree, Obama offered quips about his legacy, and the never-ending criticism from his adversaries.
The climax of his speech however (at the 14:35 mark), came as Key & Peele’s Keegan-Michael Key played “Luther,” the president’s “anger translator.” Frantically spewing out all of the things the president presumably wished he could actually say, Key and Obama’s sketch was the stuff good comedy is made of: great timing and polar-opposite extremity. Watch President Obama’s full White House Correspondents Dinner speech above, and peep his best jokes of the night below.
On his presidential “bucket” list:
"After the mid-term elections, my advisors asked me, 'Mr. President, do you have a bucket list?' I said, Well I have something that rhymes with bucket list.’
“Take executive action on immigration? Bucket. New climate regulations? Bucket, it’s the right thing to do.”
On his bromance with Vice President Joe Biden:
“We’ve gotten so close that in some places in Indiana they won’t serve us pizza anymore.”
On people still believing he’s Muslim:
“Being president is never easy. I still have to fix a broken immigration system, issue veto threats, negotiate with Iran – all while finding time to pray five times a day.”
On his (very) rapidly graying hair:
“It is no wonder that people keep pointing out that presidency has aged me. I look so old John Boehner's already invited Netanyahu to speak at my funeral.
“Meanwhile Michelle hasn’t aged a day. I ask her what her secret is, she just says ‘Fresh fruits and vegetables.’ It’s aggravating.”
On people perceiving him as arrogant:
“Six years into my presidency, some people still say I’m arrogant and aloof, condescending. Some people are so dumb. No wonder I don’t meet with them.
On Hillary Clinton:
"I have one friend, just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and now she's living out of a van in Iowa."