Non-Dude Review: Ain’t No Party Like An ‘Entourage’ Party
According to the Internet, there are two types of people penning reviews for Entourage: The Movie: the hardcore Stans who ride-or-die for the series-turned-film yet are “meh” about the big screen version. The other, a group of sometimers who write off the Hollywood-sized film as an entertaining flop. Most of these critics happen to be men. This journo, however, is neither a guy nor a religious advocate of Doug Ellin’s show; the only common ground I walk with the Entourage man-boys is being from Queens. Still, it’s a trip to the Left Coast worth taking.
The hour-and-a-half ride begins at sea in Ibiza at a yacht party with enough lady racks to fill the Playboy Mansion. The guys greet us with Johnny “Drama” Chase (played by Kevin Dillon) contemplating about getting his nut off before before boarding the boat bash hosted by his half-brother, Vince Chase (Adrian Grenier). He’s also accompanied by a slimmer, wealthier Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) and the blue-eyed womanizer, Eric (Kevin Connolly).
After amicably calling it quits on his week-long marriage to a Vanity Fair writer, Vince has set his sights on director-dom. His latest passion project is a big budget film that plays off Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, simply titled Hyde. It’s a two hour-long “masterpiece” (we only see the opening scene) to the delight of his long-time agent and the hotheaded Hollywood big shot, Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven). His biggest challenge is getting more M’s from Travis, played by Haley Joel Osment (a.k.a. the guy who made the line “I see dead people” a thing) and his oilman tycoon father, Larsen McCredle (Billy Bob Thornton). After Vince blows money fast on his production, the main mission becomes Ari caping for Vince & Co.’s talents to Hyde’s financiers while trying to keep his cool.
Like the HBO hit, each bro is going through their own set of struggles: Drama’s TMZ fiasco; Turtle’s situationship with UFC champ, Ronda Rousey; Travis’ thirst; Vince’s credibility and his situationship with Emily Ratajkowski; Eric’s free sausage to any pair of legs that spreads open and caring for his baby’s mother, Sloane (Emmanuelle Chriqui) and Gold’s anger issues. More money equals more champagne problems and most likely, female objectification. You know, the stuff Amy Schumer parodies are made of. But before feminists throw spears at the movie, remember the Hollywood satire and king-sized bed of bravado the series was founded on. Even Chriqui told Esquire earlier this month, “Have no illusions: The show is what it is and what it has always been, which is the guys … I’m so grateful that I could be a part of it. And I don’t think it’s a slight to the show. It’s just the nature of the beast.
Chriqui, critics and the show’s others stars say it’s a man’s answer to Sex and the City. It’s not. It’s a man’s answer to Sex and Living The Dream For Men—supermodel groupies, Ferraris and putting your boys on when one of you makes it. Then, of course, there’s the plethora of big-name cameos to get you hype: Seattle Seahawk Russell Wilson, Liam Neeson, Pharrell and his hat, Warren Buffett, the film’s executive producer, Mark Wahlberg, the VIP list goes on.
Does Entourage the film merit the backlash it has been getting? Maybe. Should devout followers and interested newbies—including women—give it a shot? Oh yeah! For the past four years, folks have been fiending for Entourage’s return and now that it’s back, everyone is quick to drag the flick to the trash bin. Oscar nominations aren’t the goal here. You’ll get a few laughs and a lot of “Oh, that guy!” moments but at the heart of it is one last hoorah with the guys who showed you that making it, either in Hollywood or life, is possible—even if it’s a sh-t show.