#WCW: Dej Loaf Talks Dating, Sex, And What It Takes To Get A Slice
Girl talk with Dej Loaf is more like a conversation with a really cool guy friend. The 24-year-old pint-sized singer-rapper hybrid exudes the kind of chill and “go with the flow” attitude that the average woman feigns but doesn’t really possess. Sprawled out on a couch in her backstage trailer at this year’s Bonnaroo Festival, Deja Trimble is laid-back–literally and figuratively. Even while caught off guard with questions about dating, sex, marriage and kids, her demeanor fails to fluctuate. It becomes easy to see why she has captured the eyes of a slew of admirers, male and female alike. But ask her what it is about her, and she doesn’t have a clear cut answer.
“The hoes love me, they just do,” she answered, matter-of-factly.
And apparently, she’s not a hard woman to pull; save your suave, debonair facade for someone else. Simply in search of suitors who are authentically themselves, Dej Loaf is not exactly intimidating, unless you’re afraid of quiet confidence. Though reluctant to remove her shades or give too detailed of a response to inquiries about 90-day rules, #MCMs and #WCWs, being fed with a long spoon by Dej proves more filling than the healthiest of remarks from another subject. She doesn’t say much because she doesn’t need to. Just pay attention. You might learn a thing or two. – Iyana Robertson (sincerely_iyana)
VIBE: You released a song with the hook, “treat a n***g like a h*e.” What made you write that?
Niggas is hoes [laughs]. A lot of guys, they act like females. The song just came about because that’s how I feel.
So when should you treat a dude like a h*e?
When he’s acting like one.
Does the thirst get real for you online?
It gets crazy. Going from a couple thousand followers to 1.7 million, you see all types of crazy stuff. You see haters, you see lovers, you see people who are obsessed. I just take it all in and try to respond to different people and show love back.
Do you monitor how much you look in your mentions and comments, just so you stay sane?
I’m learning just to focus on the people who love you, who care, who want to see you grow. Instead of the people who are like “Oh, you’re trash,” or they hate what you’re doing. You gotta focus on the people who wanna see you win, because if you focus on the other people, you’re gonna be a sad ass person. You’re gonna get discouraged.
What the best way to approach Dej Loaf?
I would say, just be yourself. That’s all it’s about. If you’re you, I can either like it or hate it. Just come as yourself. Don’t come trying to be nobody else, because it’ll come out in the long run [laughs].
What made you want to tap into your sexy side with the “Me U & Hennessy” video?
I feel like there’s a time and place for everything. I’m grown, I’m an adult. And that was just the time and the place. I’m talking about me, a person and Hennessy; you know what happens during those times. So I felt like it was only right to get sexy for that, and show a different side.
Were you shy about it?
No, it was cool. I was just like, I know what I gotta do to kill this video and to pull this off. It wasn’t forced either; I just did it. I knew what I had to do to get my vision out.
When it comes to getting sexy, what songs are on your “sexy soundtrack?”
A lot of R. Kelly. Guordan Banks’ “Good At What You Do,” and his whole A Song For Everyone mixtape. Jesse Boykins III, Sade, and you good to go.
Do you have a 90-day rule when it comes to sex?
I mean, if you wanna have rules, cool. I just let things flow. I’m not saying go crazy on the first night, but I just let life be what it is. You never know. I don’t run from things, if I’m feeling it, it happens. That just how things go now; the world today is different than it used to be. If I feel like you deserve it, you’ll probably get it.
What are your biggest turn-offs?
Liars. Oh, and I hate fingernails that are chipped really bad. That’s about it.
Do you have any straight-up deal breakers?
Kids always make you kind of turn your head a little bit, I don’t know about kids, but you never know. I could just never say never. But if you gotta deal with that extra baby mama drama, I’m not doing that. I got too much to do.
So maybe your deal breaker is baby mama drama?
I’m not doing that. Ever. That has to be closed, sealed and dealed. She has to be married, so I know she’s not even checking for you.
Who is your #MCM, and who’s your #WCW?
Oh, you know who my #MCM is? His Instagram, is [formerly @majsaid] (below). And my #WCW is Jada Pinkett-Smith.
Are you aggressive? If you see a guy that you want to talk to, do you go up to him?
It depends on the situation. I will go up and play around and shit.
So you’re not shy?
To a certain extent, but it depends. If I’m off that Hennessy, I’ll probably go up like, “Wassup?”
And if they come up to you?
Just come correct. This girl, she posted on Instagram today, she tried to play a guy because he messaged her on Facebook and asked to take her out to a movie. She posted crying laughing faces like, “The things that happen on Facebook.” But ain’t nothing wrong with that. He tried to approach her and take her out to the movies. Social media is so powerful now, that can happen. That’s how you meet people anyway. When you make these pages and post pictures, people like and comment, and you feel connected to them. I don’t think nothing is wrong with that.
But would you slide in a guy’s DMs?
I don’t know about all that [laughs]. But if it’s that deep, I probably would like f**k it, “Text me.” [Laughs] people are crazy though.
There also this weird “is Dej Loaf gay” thing. Where does that come from?
I don’t know, man. It’s just crazy, I don’t know where they get it from [laughs]. The hoes love me, they just do.
If girls they try to holla, what do you say?
I just do this. Like we’re talking right now.
And then what?
That’s it [laughs]. Not trying to be cocky or arrogant, I just have good conversation. I don’t know, girls just attach themselves to me. I don’t even be checking for them, and they’re like “Oh my God…”
Is you reaction the same to a guy and a girl trying to holla?
It depends. It’s all in the character, you know?
Tell me about a time when someone’s approach was perfect.
I was in L.A., and a guy came up. That was appropriate. He was polite. I was in the nail shop and he was like, “No celebrity s**t, I just really wanna take you out. I came over here with crust in my eyes, I’m not even dressed.” [Laugh] It was so cute. If I was interested I would’ve went. If you’re gonna do it, that’s the way to do it.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Girl, we getting too deep [laughs]. Yeah, I have.
What’s your heartbreak remedy?
You slowly but surely grow. And you run into somebody else, then that person shows you a whole other side of life. Or maybe you just realize your worth. Spend time with yourself, learn things about yourself that you never knew.
Do you think about marriage and kids?
Yeah, I want four kids. If I don’t have four, I’ma have one. I’ll have one, and see how I like it. If I don’t like it, that’s it. If I do, I’ll go for the four. You know what’s funny? I’m actually the [marriage and kids] type. I just don’t really date like that.
So you don’t casually date?
I’m the relationship type. I’m for the family and s**t like that. I like relationships, I don’t like being single.
What advice would you give to a single girl who wants to find a man?
Make sure you’ve spent that time with yourself to know who you are. Make sure you’re ready for that step, because it’s a whole other job. You got a career, or a job, and that’s a whole other one. To be a wife, girlfriend or whatever, you gotta really be there. Not half, but whole. So make sure you know who you are going into it. Everything don’t work out sometimes, but if you know who you are going into it, you’ll leave knowing what you want.
How has dating become harder since you’ve blown up?
It hard, because everyone’s in your business. There’s no more dating on the low-key, everybody knows what you’re doing. It’s really hard. It’s actually wack. I don’t like it. That part of fame, if I could take it out I would. I hate it.