Man Who Had Sex With A Fence Is Reportedly On The Run

In today’s “Wait, say that again?” news, a Texas man is on the run after failing to show up in court after being accused of having sex with a fence.

Really, sir?

Eliodoro Estala has been charged with indecent exposure in connection to the alleged March 1 incident. According to the Houston Chronicle, officers received a phone call from a witness who saw and filmed Estala peeing on a fence. The witness said Estala then took off his clothes and began performing imaginary sex acts, including oral sex, on the fence, which led to lewdness and even more weirdness.

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The New York Daily News received a copy of the affidavit, which detailed just how committed this man was to having sex with a fence. According to the court document, Estala “put his mouth inside the chain-link fence and stuck his tongue out, moving it up and down” before moving on to stick his erect penis into the chain-link fence.

Again…really, sir?

Estala then began having sex, which included penetration, with the fence. When officers arrived, they found Estala leaving his apartment drunk. He tried to deny the accusations, but officers were able to positively identify him from stills gleaned from the footage.

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The 32-year-old was supposed to appear in court last week but was a no-show.

Yeah, it’s 2017, nothing is a surprise anymore.