The 25-year-old, Mexican-American singer spoke confidently about having conquered her addiction and alcoholism, though she still struggles with an eating disorder. She called it “the last thing to go” on the list of things that she wants to get control of as it haunts her every day.
While dealing with that, Lovato still found it difficult to battle many other things. “I had this fascination with death,” she told Dr. Phil, when asked whether she’d considered taking her own life. “At 7, I knew that if I were to take my own life that the pain would end.” The singer said that the feeling was recurring, returning to the fore when she was bullied, struggling with depression and bipolar disorder.
“I turned to cutting and there was a while there where my mom was afraid to wake me up in the mornings because she didn’t know if she opened the door if I would be alive or not.” The singer recalled that her cuts would get deeper and deeper.
It was all intensified by a “suicide petition” that circulated by girls Lovato thought were friends when she was a kid. They wanted other people to sign off on Demi’s death.
Lovato drew a link between her disorders and unresolved issues with her birth father. Her father left her and her mother when she was just a kid. “He was abusive. He was mean. But he wanted to be a good person,” she said. As a kid, it was difficult for her to see that it wasn’t her father’s intent to abandon anyone; he was mentally ill. She didn’t get the closure she needed until her father’s passing. When turning to alcohol, she said that she had been looking for something to “numb” her and unfortunately, this was where she found her relief.
But that’s changed. Known for a ferocious comeback, Lovato has decided to use the platform she’s created to remove any stigmas surrounding the all-too-common struggles that she was made to endure alone. The singer recommended getting help and if that’s not an option, she had advice for those who feel alone. “If you feel like you don’t have anybody, look within yourself and try to find that resilience that will ultimately get you through whatever it is you’re going through. Every single person on this planet is worth life.”