Couples opt to test the sexual waters before diving into a full commitment. Withholding the goods until marriage seems either like a lure or a non-option. Where does celibacy stand on your list? Author Armond Mosley and radio personality Angela Yee discuss. –Stacy-Ann Ellis
Him: Every guy knows that a woman’s first negotiation is to not give it up at all, and we’ve been taught that the pot of gold is to get it. A lot of guys get excited by that. How much of a challenge will this be? You’re going to make me work for it. If I can take you out on dinner and have you over the house staying late at night, then in my mind, your behaviors are already showing me that if I do enough of these things, eventually I’ll get you to compromise. [Celibacy] was my journey, and I had other men around me who were committed to that walk as well, so I didn’t feel like I was some oddball. Sex was one of my biggest vices, but when I got rid of that, I was able to start dealing with other things like pride and ego. Once you remove sex from the picture, it removes a big veil and you see people for who they are. Because [my wife and I] were both committed to that lifestyle when we were dating, we know that our accountability is first to God and we trust each other a lot more in our relationship. The fact that we honored God in that way when we were dating has allowed us to have peace in our marriage that a lot of marriages today are missing. –Armond E. Mosley, motivational speaker and author of Rededication: A Story of Sex, Repentance and Restoration
Click the next page for Angela Yee’s response.
Her: Celibacy before marriage? I don’t know if I would go that far. Does that mean that you can’t do anything sexual? Does that mean no oral sex? Nothing? Celibacy to me means no actual intercourse, but I definitely want to sleep with somebody before I marry them. It’s an important part of relationships. People have all these rules that you should wait a certain amount of time before you should have sex and blah, blah, blah. It’d be hard to date somebody and not be able to have sex with them, because when you’re a little bit horny, what are you supposed to do? Women are so programmed to believe that men want a certain kind of woman. Men seem to like these women that are very seasoned and that have been around and dated even people that they know. It comes down to honesty. Women will say, ‘Oh, I’ve never done this,’ but don’t even bother saying anything like that to a man. He’s not going to believe you anyway because it sounds like a lie. Just be straight up and honest. If he can deal with it, fine. If he can’t, bye. –Angela Yee, radio personality on Power 105.1’s “The Breakfast Club”