Earlier this week, Toni Braxton spoke candidly (again) on Chelsea Lately about dating on the other side of the interracial line. This time, she embarked on an even more shocking (not really) topic: sex with said white man. While Chelsea eagerly persuaded the singer turn up the bedroom heat with her new guy, Toni admitted that she was still dating her ex-hubby and her inner slut (can we say that?) was buried within her locked-down goodies.
“I’ve gone out on a couple dates with my ex-husband. But the white guy I’m dating doesn’t know. We [Toni and her white boyfriend] haven’t had sex yet. I’ve been locked down for 10 years. I’m not comfortable with the slut in me yet. I’m working on her though.”
Right there, it dawned on us! Other Vixens battle with this, too. Several women want to explore their sexual liberation after a relationship or be a healthy serial dating for the pure enjoyment of being single. Can you bring your inner and sexy you-know-what out to play, you ask? Indeed, and here are a few ways to get it done… in a good way!
First, try and try again!
I have so many friends tell me that they’re afraid of rejection or they’ve been hurt before or blah blah blah! VV understands, but we also know that you have to dust yourself off and try again (word to Aaliyah). You were loyal to your ex, great. He did you dirty, we hear you.
Now, it’s time to build your confidence up for the next guy and get back to being sexy. Own it! Just because the last guy was trash doesn’t mean the next won’t realize you’re a treasure.
How can you know what you like, if you do not know what you don’t like? Dating is like looking over a menu. Yes, our age group has quite a small dating pool (once you review your checklist), but there’s nothing wrong with grabbing a bite to eat or chatting over coffee.
No, a dinner and a movie is not sexy. Hit the strip club together or take a dancing class (this clearly depends on your level of comfortability).
Bringing that sexual energy to the table will help move things along, not straight to the bedroom but you know what we mean. You can be flirty, affectionate and confident in situations like these. Don’t be bashful at all. Be you!
With dating comes sex. Whether you’ve implemented that 30-day rule or you’re a on-the-first night kind of girl, sex will eventually come into play.
Our only advice is to, first, use protection (duh!) and, second, be confident. Don’t be afraid to unleash your über sexy side. Men, obviously, love sex. If you two are mutually into one another, why not? Now, don’t pull out all the stops. Leave a little to the imagination, but don’t be shy or virginal either.