I know I wasn’t the only one writhing in discomfort watching Somaya Reece pour out her emotions during a first date on this week’s episode of Love & Hip Hop. My eyes ballooned in disbelief as I leaned in and jerked away from the TV groaning, “Noooo, girl! What are you doing?” I was embarassed. She told that man–a complete and utter stranger–all about her trust issues stemming from an abusive childhood and past relationship. She even cried real tears! Pause. What part of the game is that? I wanted to shake her, although maybe I need to be shaken for allowing myself to be sucked into Love & Hip Hop like that.
Anywho, after viewing Somaya’s cringefest of a first date, I was moved to compile a short list of what not to do on a first date, especially if you expect there to be a second date…
1. DON’T GET TOO PERSONAL
When your date asks you about yourself, he does not want you to start from birth, especially if you had a troubled childhood. Leave the stories of horrific lovers for your diary. Keep the conversation light and interesting. As depressing as Somaya’s story was, I was almost ready to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge after she was finished.
2. DON’T RAMBLE
Don’t dominate the conversation. Ask him about himself, and actually listen! It’s easy to tell when somebody is really paying attention to what you’re saying and when they’re just waiting for a break in the conversation to add their two cents. Plus, you wanna leave some mystery about yourself. If you tell him everything there is to know about you the first time around, what are you going to talk about on the next date?
3. DON’T GO TO HIS HOUSE
If you’ve just met and he invites you to dinner at his apartment for your first date, politely suggest a nice restaurant instead. There are a lot of creeps out there, and you don’t wanna get caught slippin’. Stranger danger is real! Save the intimate settings for when the two of you get to know each other a little better.
4. DONT PLAN YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER
It’s one thing to say you’re looking forward to your next date. It’s a completely different thing to tell him which flowers you want in your wedding bouquet and what you wanna name your children. If you find yourself discussing marriage or kids, pump your brakes immediately. You’d be surprised just how quickly that man will scurry away once he gets a whiff of your desperation!
5. DON’T FORGET YOUR BREATH CONTROL
I don’t believe in ordering a salad when you’re starving to appear dainty and lady-like on a date. If you want surf and turf, do you baby! But don’t let foul lobster-breath ruin your goodnight kiss. Make sure you have space in your clutch for a tin of Altoids, girl.