Online dating is still a no-go for a lot of people but more and more single ladies are giving it a try, especially those who want to make 2012 a better year than 2011 in the love department. For many women, though, trying online dating is just like being 16 years old again—it’s a whole new world and they don’t know the rules.
The reason you date online is because things aren’t going so well in person so you want to make sure you don’t screw this up. Ask you yourself these five questions to make sure you don’t foolyourself.com, and in the end you should find exactly what you logged on for: a man.
What Means the World to You?
There are a billion dating sites out there nowadays. Everybody knows about eHarmony and Match.com but there are tons of niche sites tailored to every possible dating interest imaginable. So, does the guy have to have a particular interest, do you want to go interracial, looking for a millionaire, does he have to share the same faith as you, should he be into curvy girls? If you know exactly what you’re looking for down to the T, it’s probably more beneficial to go straight to a site with those specific types of men instead of sifting through a bunch of profiles and coming up empty handed. On the other hand, if you’re totally open to whatever digital cupid is prepared to shoot your way, check out a generic site and consider it a new, eye-opening experience. Just like face-to-face dating, you want to keep an open mind when looking online and not cancel anyone out based on pretense.
Would You Date You?
Your profile description is the only thing people have to judge you by, except for a photo, which I’ll get to next. But this is basically your 30-second online pitch: it needs to be good. Think about what makes you you and write that in a creative way that makes you stand out from the thousands of other fun girls who just like to have a good time, spend time with friends, and shop. In some ways it’s easier to get rejected online than it is in person because you don’t have a chance to explain a side-eye e-impression. A guy either sees something he likes and pursues, or he clicks on to the next. You want to make sure you’re enticing as many people as possible to poke, wink, message, inbox you, etc. as possible with the truth. And it never hurts to use spellcheck. Twice.
Am I Going too Hard?
Of course you want to show off your sex appeal, but remember what you’re on the site for: a date, not a one night stand. Fight the urge to upload that backshot and put the girls all the way out there. You don’t want photos like that ending up in the wrong hands, and remember you want to make a good e-impression, that means looking dateable, not just sexable. Besides, men want to know what you really look like, not how you put on for the club Friday night with lashes, 6 inch heels, and a Victoria Secret Miraculous bra. Plus, once you draw the right guy in with the casual shot, there’ll be plenty of opportunities to send sexier pics to the one who you actually want to see them.
Am I Going Hard Enough?
It may be easier to get rejected online but it’s much easier to take. There’s no harm in reaching out to as many people as you want and seeing what sort of response you get. Take advantage of the fact that you’re behind a computer screen and be bold. If he doesn’t respond, who cares? You can move on to the next as well. And don’t forget, you’re paying for whatever online service you’re using so you want to get your money’s worth. Would you waste a new dress and heels sitting in the corner of the club all night? So don’t waste the cash you spent subscribing to a dating site by waiting for someone to contact you. Make the first move and be patient.
Am I Being Real with Myself?
Remember the point of online dating is to actually get to the dating part, which means in-person contact. If you’re in New York and a man in California catches your eye, can you really see yourself flying from coast to coast to make a long-distance relationship work? Does the idea of actually meeting up with someone you’ve only chatted with online completely freak you out? Is the person you were checking for online completely different on the phone? In all cases, you may want to hang up and start over. There’s no shame in admitting that you just don’t click with someone and the beauty of online dating is you can make a clean break by phone or email without any messiness.