In the last, let’s say, five years, our lives have become even more transparent with the addition of online dating, a multi-billion dollar business that redefines what it means to meet a mate. Although pay-to-use sites like eHarmony and Match.com are designed to find you a lifetime partner, sites like OkCupid are frequented by a younger crowd looking for something less binding.
“There’s plenty of attractive people online that are not resorting to online dating,” the Meet Market matchmaker says, adding, “There are some people who have given up on dating in the traditional sense, or they’ve said to themselves, ‘I wanna meet more people.'”
Contrary to popular belief, we’ve technically (pun intended) been playing the e-flirt game for years. Chances are you met a significant amount of friends, hook-ups or associates through social networks. Whether it’s a retweet, a Facebook chat or flirty Instagram comments, we make personal connections through digital portals every day.
But some date-seekers pile high hopes onto an internet crush as a way to divert heartbreak, something Cummings says will lead to a letdown. “Any girl that thinks online dating is a way to get through all the B.S. you go through in real life, you’re just fooling yourself,” he says.
“If you think guys don’t know how to act in real life, wait until they get online because they really don’t care,” he continues. “They are hiding behind the computer screen and they don’t have to face rejection.”
Despite potential disappointment, e-mingling allows people to interact with others outside of their comfort zone, whether it be online or offline. Unfortunately, the scrubs of the world cannot be buffered out when it comes to the digi-dating scene.
“Online dating allows you to put yourself in a different place in front of different people that have never seen you before,” he says. “If that person approaches you and comes correct online, the chances are that person would do the same thing in real life.”
We know what you’re thinking, this guy must know what he’s talking about, right? Well, click on to see the e-matchmaker’s top five tips for embarking on digital dating adventures and get back to us.
1. It’s the setting that changes, not the people: “A lot of people want online dating to fix problems that they confronted in real life. When you meet somebody in real life, the way that they present themselves to you on the first couple of dates is not necessarily an accurate depiction of who they are. That’s the same thing online. The package looks a little bit different but you’re still dealing with the same issues. You just have to take a chance.”
2. Look at his pictures: “When you’re looking for people on a site, look at the pictures because you’ve got to be attracted to them. If you’re going to reach out and message them, reach out with something specific and not “I read your profile and it seems interesting.” Don’t just look at their values by religious association or what college they went to. You’re not here for all that. Don’t worry about whether this guy is a guy that you want to date. Worry about whether this guy is a guy that you want to meet.”
3. Eliminate the competition: “Don’t put up any pictures of you in groups of people. You don’t know if he could be more interested in your girlfriend. Why would you want to add competition? When I’m looking at your pictures and I see your girlfriends, I don’t know you and I’m looking at them, too. Do not have any pictures of you with other guys. I don’t care if it’s your brother. I don’t care if you say that it’s your brother. Put no more than four pictures of you. One picture of just you is better than three pictures of you with other people.”
4. Keep your pictures tasteful: “Keep yourself comfortable and stylish. Don’t look too done-up. Look natural, smile and look at the camera. Just make sure that there’s nothing falling out so that we can focus on what you want us to focus on. If you got a hell of a body and you want us to focus on that, then put that picture online. Get a second opinion when it comes to your pics. Don’t always put up the nightclub pictures of you in the club or at the bar. I know how you look at the club. I know that you look great. A picture during the day does more for you than a picture at night.”
5. Take charge: “Do not be afraid to be more forward when you’re online. If you find yourself getting discouraged about online dating, it’s probably because you’re not doing enough. Don’t be afraid to reach out.”